Signed Anonymous
by Mortal Wonderland
Summary: All human. Clary Fray is invisible, no one notices her, no one even cares. When the school sets up a chat room for students she decides to test it out to to see if she can actually make a friend. Little does she know that this one decision will change her life forever. Will she find out who this new stranger in her life is? Disclaimer: I do not own anything other than the plot.
1. Chapter 1

Clary wasn't the most popular person in her school. Okay, she was the least popular person in her school. Mostly she was invisible, that she could deal with. But at times, people would start to bully her. They would call her names and tell her that she was a waste of space, that no one cared about her and that she was useless, good for nothing. She often found herself agreeing with them, she did think that she was useless and invisible. If she disappeared one day for no particular reason, no one would notice. They would all continue with their mundane lives as usual.

I bet your wondering about Clary's parents. Surely they would care about her, maybe they even told her multiple times a day. Unfortunately that is not the case. Her mother had died when Clary was only 6, and her father, for lack of better words, just turned off. He stopped caring, stopped noticing, stopped being a father. So Clary was all on her own.

As she arrived at school on Monday morning, she observed her 'peers' in their 'groups' as she made her way to her locker. She found herself doing this quite often, but so would you if you were invisible, like a fly on the wall. Most of the groups were all the same, but there was one group that stood out to everyone. The populars. They ruled the school, anything they wanted they got. That simple.

Clary was opening her locker before first period when there was an announcement from the speakers, "All students report to the gym for an assembly. All students report to the gym for an assembly". Why did they repeat themselves, Clary thought. Maybe it's for the less educated students (to put it the nice way) who just didn't get it the first time. Or maybe it's for the students that are too engrossed in their 'fascinating' conversation to actually pay attention the first time.

All of these thoughts were racing through Clary's mind, and before she knew it she had reached the gym and was now waiting on the bleachers as other students gathered around her still talking to their friends. Of course no one actually sat next to Clary, or even close enough to talk to for that matter. This wasn't unusual of course, but for some reason, today it seemed to hurt more than usual.

"Alright students settle down. Quiet please." said the head teacher, Miss Newman. She wasn't a bad head teacher, she was just. . . unknown. Even though Clary had been at this school for two years now, she still barely saw her. Miss Newman has blue eyes, thin lips, a long nose and short black hair that just reaches her neck. Even though she has wrinkles, somehow they manage to suit her. "Now students, the school has decided to set up a chat room for students from this school. We believe that since there are so many of you, there will be people in this school that don't even know each other. This chat room is a way to help you all get to know new people around the school and make some new friends. You will all be able to access this chat room at any point in the day. We would like to remind you that you ARE able to use your phones during school hours, but make sure to be respectful to your teachers when you are in their classes. Many of you are probably worried that because the school has set this up that we will be monitoring your conversations, however this is not the case. The school has only set this up for you, there will be no further involvement from us, the rest is up to you. You may now go back to class."

As Clary made her way to her class, she couldn't stop thinking about what Miss Newman had just said. If Clary did do it, she could make some new friends, but what if they rejected her? What if no one liked her? Then she would have to come back to school and face them every day for the rest of high school. But what if they didn't know that it was her? She could just not tell them who she was until she was sure that they wouldn't reject her. With her mind made up, Clary went through the rest of the day thinking about who she would meet and what she would say to them.

* * *

When she got home, Clary went straight to her computer and made an account on the school chat room. Once she was done she clicked on a name and the conversation started.

 **B has logged on.**

 **C has logged on.**

 **C_Hey.**

 **B_Hi.**

 **C_What does the B stand for?**

 **B_Broken. What about the C?**

 **C_It's my initial.**

 **B_What's your name?**

 **C_Guess.**

 **B_That's impossible, I won't tell you my name either then if you don't tell me yours.**

 **C_I kind of like that idea. How about I make it a bit easier, ask me any question and I'll answer truthfully, but you have to do the same.**

 **B_Okay then. Girl or boy?**

 **C_Girl. You?**

 **B_Boy. Why did yo come on this site?**

 **C_I'm kind of invisible at school, so I thought if nobody knew me, I might have a chance of talking to someone. What about you?**

 **B_ I wish nobody knew me. Everyone around me is so fake and I thought if nobody knew who I was then I might actually meet someone real.**

 **C_It's kind of funny really. Complete different situations, but the same solution to our problems.**

 **B_Oh yeah, and what's that?**

 **C_Anonymity.**

 **B_You make a good point. Next question, why are you invisible?**

 **C_You don't make it very easy do you?**

 **B_Nope, and your not gonna get out of it that easily by trying to distract me, now answer the question if you please.**

 **C_FINE. I guess it's because I never really fit in with anyone. I used to have a best friend, but then he got a girlfriend and we started talking less and less until he was completely gone from my life. It's just easier for me to be invisible, no one can hurt you then. What about you huh? Why do you want to be invisible?**

 **B_And you say that I'm making it difficult. To be honest, I'm not really sure how to explain.**

 **C_Why don't you start at the beginning.**

 **B_Very helpful (note the sarcasm there). It's mainly because people are always expecting me to be what they want me to be. I never really feel like myself around them. I also see how they act differently around me than they do with others. No one is ever honest, they always want something, I just have to wait long enough to find out what they want.**

 **C_Is there no one that wants nothing from you?**

 **B_It' my turn to ask a question.**

 **C_Alright, shoot.**

 **B_What do you look like?**

 **C_That's kid of a strange question.**

 **B_No it's not. I just want to be able to imagine the person than I'm talking to.**

 **C_Touche. A lot of people say that I look like my mum, but I don't really see it. If I told you my hair colour you would recognize me instantly, so let's just say that it's different. I'm short, have frizzy hair and green eyes. What do you look like?**

 **B_If I told you my eye colour you would recognize ME, so I'll skip that. I'm normal height with blonde hair and a golden tan. Some have described me as stunningly attractive while others have said that I resemble an angel.**

 **C_Someone's got a big ego.**

 **B_Modesty is for the ugly.**

 **C_Who told you that.**

 **B_It's just a fact of life young grasshopper.**

 **C_Seriously?**

 **B_Yep.**

 **C_I've got to go.**

 **B_Can we talk again tomorrow, after school?**

 **C_Sure, but I have practice so it can't be until 5.**

 **B_Practice for what?**

 **C_I'll tell you tomorrow ;)**

 **C has logged off.**

 **B has logged off.**

* * *

C POV

That didn't go too badly, but there are so many things that I still don't know about him like why is his username 'Broken'? Who is he? Do I know him? Is it real or is someone playing a trick on me? There are so many questions flying through my head. I shouldn't be this paranoid, but I guess talking to someone about my life is making me kind of nervous. Okay, a lot nervous.

I hope I get to talk to him tomorrow. Even if he doesn't know who I am, I think that this can still work out. If anything it's probably better. It means that I can talk to him about myself without having to worry about him telling people that it's me. But can I deal with not knowing who he is? It could drive me crazy wondering if I know him, if he is a Junior like me or if he's a Senior does he have any classes with me? I guess I'll have to ask him tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Disclaimer-I do not own anything except for the plot, everything else belongs to Cassandra Clare._**

 ** _Hey guys, I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who has already favourited and/or followed my story or my account. It means so much to me because this is my first fan fiction and I was really nervous about posting it online because I didn't think it was that good. Sorry that there was no authors note on chapter one, I wasn't really sure how to add it in. I have already written a few chapters so far, but I won't be posting them straight away because I want to space them out so that the updates won't be really irregular and so that I have time to carry on writing the rest. Also I might change point of view every once in a while, but unless it's stated just assume the point of view is the same as the section before it. Once again to everyone who has favourited or followed, I love you all. Now on with chapter 2._**

* * *

The next day at school was just a blur. All I could think about was B. There were so many questions running through my head, I could barely make out what some of them were. Eery time I saw a boy I started to wonder if that could be him. It was driving me insane. I wonder if he is going just as crazy not knowing who I am either.

All my classes were boring as usual. With no one to talk to it's just the same in every class. I'm surprised I can still tell the difference between classes anymore. I guess since I have no friends there should be no distractions and nothing stopping me from getting the best grades in the class, but I just can't seem to concentrate. There is always something on my mind, something that causes me to get lost in thought while the teachers drone on about something or other.

* * *

Before I knew it the final bell had rung and it was the end of school. This is my favourite time of day because it means that everyone goes home and I have the whole gym to practice. Something about dancing just seems to relax me and I temporarily forget that the world isn't perfect. I forget that my life is anything but perfect.

I start the music and drift off into my own world, where I am the only one there, where there are no problems and no stress. I'm not exactly sure how long I'm there for but when I snap out of my daydream I can tell it's been a while. For a moment I'm tempted to just keep going and never stop, but then I remember that I am supposed to chat with B at 5. When I check my phone it's 4:45. I silently curse and pack up my stuff before running home.

It usually takes me about twenty minutes to walk home. I don't know how I managed it but somehow today it only took me about ten minutes running. That's probably the fastest I have ever gotten home, especially since I was exhausted from my dance practice. But there was no time to celebrate so I just ran to my room and as quickly as possibly logged into the chat room from the school. When I logged on I noticed that there was still some time to spare so I turned on some music in order to calm my nerves.

 **C has logged on.**

 **B has logged on.**

 **B_How was practice?**

 **C_It was great.**

 **B_So are you gonna tell me what you did or do I have to keep asking?**

 **C_I do dance, after school everyday.**

 **B_What kind of dance?**

 **C_All sorts.**

 **B_Do you have to wear those weird shoes that look really painful?**

 **C_You mean pointe shoes?**

 **B_Yeah those.**

 **C_Yeah, I wear those shoes sometimes, but they're not as bad as they look.**

 **B_So what are you doing now?**

 **C_Listening to music. I do this thing where I listen to a song that I think matches how I feel.**

 **B_What are you listening to?**

I wasn't sure if I should tell him or not, it was kind of personal. But what could it hurt, he doesn't even know who I am right?

 **C_Say something by A great big world.**

 **B_Why do you feel like that?**

 **C_I guess I just feel like everyone has given up trying with me and I don't know why.**

 **B_I haven't given up :)**

 **C_Thanks. I have been meaning to ask, why is your username 'Broken'?**

 **B_Because that's how I feel, broken.**

 **C_I think we are all broken, we just need someone to help put us back together.**

 **B_It's a nice thought.**

 **C_Hey, are you a junior?**

 **B_No I'm a senior. Are you a junior?**

 **C_Yeah. What classes do you take?**

 **B_English, spanish, maths, art and PE. What about you?**

 **C_English, maths, chemistry, art and PE. I think we might have some classes together.**

 **B_I guess we do. I've got to go, talk tomorrow?**

 **C_Definitely , same time?**

 **B_Yeah.**

 **B has logged off.**

 **C has logged off.**


	3. Chapter 3

**_Hey guys, I just wanted to say thank you for all of the wonderful feed back it means so much to me. Every time I read a review you can find a smile upon my face. Thank you for being so supportive. I was going to post a chapter every other day, but because of all of your wonderful words, I decided to post chapter 3 a day early. So here it is._**

* * *

English, maths and chemistry were all the same as usual, except for in english all I could do was look around to see if any of the boys could be him. Nothing. I don't have any clue as to who he is, or even why he is still talking to me. He seems nice enough, but in school there is no one that resembles the person that I have met online.

Not many people have tried the school chat room. They are all happy with the friends they have now., especially the populars. Earlier at my locker I overheard them talking about the only people that were using the chatroom were losers because they didn't have any real friends and the only way they could make friends was online.

I really hate the populars, they think they are above everyone else. I would say that once school was over they would loose everything, all of their popularity, all of the perks that came with it and all of the adoration from people that want nothing more than to be popular. But it's not true. They are all on top of the world. Their families are so rich that they don't even know what to do with the amount of money they have. Not to mention that they are some of the most well known families in the country.

The world is so unfair it's actually funny. When I think about it, I'm actually glad that I'm not one of them. I have worked for everything that I have, and I can honestly say that I deserve it. Whereas no one in the populars can honestly say that. Especially not the leader of the group, he is the worst of all of them. Always acting as if he not only rules the school, but the whole world. Even the populars suck up to him and that's just the guys. The girls act as if he is a god that has the power to make them the queen of the world.

Before lunch I decided to go to my locker to drop off my books and grab my sketch pad. I really like drawing, and I'm not half bad, but there just isn't enough time anymore and in order to draw you need inspiration, something I am seriously lacking in. But for some reason today I wanted to try drawing by the large oak tree in the school courtyard.

As I turned around from my locker about to walk to the cafeteria I bumped into someone. "S-Sorry" I stuttered. "You should be you little pest" a feminine voice replied. As I looked up from the floor I spotted Kaelie, one of the populars. Next to her was Seelie, one of Kaelies minions. Just my luck, out of all of the people in the school to bump into, I just had to do it to the meanest person around.

"Your such a loser. I bet you don't have any friends, you probably had to go on that stupid chat room from the school in order to get anyone to talk to you. I can't believe your disgusting loser germs are all over my new top. What are you even doing in this school anyway? You should just skip school and start working on your future career as a maid. Here i'll help you start." Just then she knocked my sketch book out of my hands onto the floor. When I went to pick it up she kicked it over to Seelie who stomped on it with her high heeled shoes, completely ruining it.

"Oops, sorry. I hope that wasn't anything important." Seelie said in a sarcastic tone. At this point I was trying to hold back the tears, what did I ever do to them? Why did they treat me like this? Why couldn't they just ignore me like everyone else. As fast as I could I picked up my sketch book and ran away from them. Before I left I could hear them laughing at me and commenting about how useless I am.

I just wanted to get away. All thoughts of sketching left my mind as I ran towards the gym. Usually I wouldn't go there in the middle of school, but since it was lunch it was probably empty and I really needed to escape. Once I was there I actually looked at my sketch book. It was completely destroyed, all of the drawings in it were ruined. I flipped to the page where I had drawn my mother, only to find that it had been torn down the middle, right through the drawing. That's when the tears started to appear and run down my face.

I missed my mother so much, there were so many things that I wanted to tell her, so many things that she missed, not to mention the things that she is going to miss. I took out my phone and played the the song that I was using to dance to, Earned it by The Weeknd. As soon as I started dancing I felt the anger and the sadness start to slip away. But my tears never dried up, they just kept flowing slowly. Half way through my floor work I saw a flash of gold from the corner of my eye, but when I turned to see, there was nothing there. Had someone been watching me? or was it just my imagination? I didn't have time to think about it because the bell rang at that moment signalling my next class.


	4. Chapter 4

**_Hey, guys. I decided to add a song for this chapter, you don't need to listen to it, but I think it helps you to understand the emotions that the characters are feeling. The song is Broken by Lifehouse, try and listen to it when the story changes to Clary's point of view. By the way,_** _ **I am english trying to write about an**_ ** _american school, if there are any mistakes feel free to message me so I can fix them, it would be much_** ** _appreciated. Thanx_**

* * *

J POV

I was so sick of listening to my so called 'friends' drone on and on about how the only people using the school chat rooms were complete losers. What right did they have to judge people for wanting to get to know others. Just because they were happy with their group of friends did not mean that others were as well.

Usually I could deal with their stuck up attitudes, but today I just didn't have the energy. On any other day I would join in on the conversation and pretend like I actually meant half the stuff I said, but not today. So I just stayed quiet will they gossiped about other people. Occasionally someone would ask me a question and I would have to pretend that I had been listening to what they just said, but when lunch came around all I wanted to do was be alone. That's when I decided to visit the gym. It was usually deserted at lunch so I wouldn't have to worry about pretending to be someone I'm not.

* * *

Lunch had barely started, so people were still piling out of the gym and heading towards the cantina. I went and sat on the bleachers where I could think for a while undisturbed. Just when I was going to go up the stairs of the bleachers someone came running in to the gym. They didn't seem to notice me so I hid before they could.

The girl that ran in was holding something in her hand, a book I think, and inspecting it. It looked like it had been ripped to shreds. That's when she started crying, tears rolling down her face quickly. I wasn't sure what to do, should I comfort her? But what if she recognised me? Who was I kidding, I was the most recognisable person in the school, of course she would recognise me, the question now was how she would react if she did see me. I wasn't delusional, I knew people in school hated my guts, granted not many people, but some did. So she would either fawn all over me or hate me. Not much of a choice.

So I decided to stay hidden until she left, that was probably the best decision. That's when she pulled out her phone and started playing some music. What was she doing? I carried on watching as she started. . . dancing? Yeah, she was dancing, it was actually amazing. The way she moved, the way she held herself was completely different to how she had been a minute ago. She seemed lost in her own world, it was magnificent. Though the tears kept rolling down her face.

Then it struck me. This was her, how could I have not noticed sooner? She obviously practiced dance often and she had flaming red hair that is recognisable from a mile away. This was her, the lonely sad girl that I wondered about so often. What should I do now? If she knew who I was she would obviously hate me, not to mention she would think that it was all a trick. But it wasn't. I had told this girl things that not even my closest 'friends' knew.

Without noticing I had been inching out of my hiding spot to get a closer look at her. When she turned her head in my direction I was too much of a coward to face her, so I hid again. What sort of person hides from their problems? Me apparently. But it was too late to face my fears because the bell rang and she was gone before I could even comprehend what had just happened. Should I tell her later when I talk to her that I know who she is? That I know her name? Clarissa Fray. The last person in the world that I expected it to be. Not that I was upset, just surprised, in a good way.

* * *

C POV

Today was one of the worst days I had ever had in school. All I wanted to do was crawl up into a ball and cry, but I wouldn't give anyone the satisfaction of seeing me like that, especially not the populars. So I held back my tears until I got home. I was too exhausted to practice after school so I went straight home. One of the worst parts about getting through the day was that somewhere in the crowd there was a nice guy, probably as miserable as I was, and I didn't even know who it was. I had to know who B was.

The not knowing was slowly tearing me apart inside, the fact that my only friend could have been in school today and comforted me, except I didn't even know who he was. Instead of waiting until 5 o'clock like usual, I decided to check now to see if he was online so that I could ask him who he was, though I doubt he would tell me, but it was worth a try.

 **B has logged on.**

 **C has logged on.**

 **B_Hey.**

 **C_Hi.**

 **B_How would you describe yourself?**

 **C_Why?**

 **B_I just want to know what you think of yourself.**

 **C_I'm nobody**

 **B_Your not nobody. Your special.**

 **C_How would you know? I'm just a face in the crowd.**

 **B_I doubt that someone as amazing as you is just another face, especially since you are the most talented dancer I have ever seen.**

 **C_How did you see me dance? How did you even know that was me and not someone else?**

 **B_I could never mistake your mesmerising red hair Clary.**

 **C_Who are YOU?**

 **B_I'm. . . BROKEN. I'm someone you're better off not knowing. I'm a mystery, nothing else, nothing more. Not worth knowing.**

 **C_Everybody is worth knowing.**

 **B_Can't you just forget that I'm real. Pretend that this is all of me, pretend that this is the real me.**

 **C_Is this not the real you?**

 **B_No. At least, it's the me that's hidden from the world. It's the me that only you see. Can't you just pretend that this is all of me? You wouldn't like the other parts. Pretend that this is it, that I am this person that you met online. You could even pretend that we met in real life.**

 **C_So how did we meet in real life then?**

 **B_. . . You put up a notice in school saying that you were looking for a musician to play music for your dancing. I saw it and volunteered to play for you. Even thought I was the only person that signed up, you told me that I still had to audition. I never told you, but I loved that you did that, I loved your passion and the way that you just had to make sure that my music inspired you to dance. We started to meet up once a week. I would look forward to our meetings with every ounce of my being. I wouldn't be able to wait to see you drift off into your own little place as you danced and forget that there was anyone around, or the way your smile lit up your entire face when you got something just the way you liked it, or even the way you would look at the floor and blush when you realised that I watched you when the music had finished but you had carried on dancing without noticing.**

 **C_That sounds nice. You play an instrument?**

 **B_Two actually.**

 **C_What do you play?**

 **B_The piano and the guitar.**

 **C_How did that happen?**

 **B_I was taught to play the piano as a child, but the guitar just sort of snuck up on me. There are just certain things that cannot be played on the piano so that's kind of how I got into it. What about you, how did you get into dancing?**

 **C_Well when I was old enough I was enrolled in dance classes. At first I was too shy to do anything so I would just sit there on the side the whole time, but after a while I started to join in. After that I sort of became competitive and just had to be the best. Somewhere along the way I started to just get this rush of emotions every time I danced, I would connect to the music in a way that is just indescribable. That probably sounds really stupid, but it's just how it is.**

 **B_It's not stupid, I actually feel the same way when I play my music.**

 **C_I wish I could hear you play something. Why won't you tell me who you are?**

 **B_. . .**

 **C_Please?**

 **B_I'm doing you a favour. If you ever found out who I was, you would never speak to me again. Maybe I'm being selfish, but I don't think I would be able to loose you.**

 **C_Why can't you trust that I won't leave?**

 **B_Never mind. Forget I said anything.**

 **B has logged off.**

* * *

 ** _Please don't forget to review, I really love hearing your feedback, even if it is negative I want to hear it. That way I can improve my story for everyone else. What did you think of the chapter? Good? Bad? I want to hear it :D If you have any questions about the story or anything else feel free to PM me and I'll try and get back to you as soon as possible._**


	5. Chapter 5

_**Sorry that this update is kind of late, I'm really sorry and ashamed to say that I forgot. In order to make it up to you guys I may be tempted to post the next chapter a bit early if I get enough reviews (evil**_ ** _laugh). By the way I'm trying to add the links to images of the dress that Clary wears in this chapter either at the end of this chapter or on my bio, but it doesn't seem to be working. I'll keep trying but if it doesn't work after a while then I'm not gonna bother anymore, the pictures are basically just there in case people want to actually see the dress instead of just using their imagination. If anyone knows a new way for me to try and share the links then feel free to PM me. Enjoy._**

* * *

C POV

I was so confused after my conversation with B. I was mad at him for not telling me, but I was also sad that we didn't get to talk more because I really love talking to him. Ever since I met him I seem to find myself happier and sometimes I am even smiling without realising when I think about him. What do I do? How does he even know who I am? Why does he get to know who I am but I can't know who he is?

I decided that I should do my homework in order to try and forget about what had just happened and about the day I had. All I really wanted was for someone to be there for me and help me through all of my problems, someone to hold me and wipe my tears away as they fell across my face. Maybe I couldn't have it all, but that never stopped me from hoping and being sad when I realised that I didn't have it and probably wouldn't any time soon. With that thought I fell asleep as a tear slowly crept down my face before crashing onto my pillow.

* * *

Making my way to my locker I thought about how yesterday turned out, particularly how I had had an argument with my only friend in this entire school. Why did I have to be such an idiot and ruin everything? This is why I had no friends, this is why no one ever wanted to be my friend, why everyone just gave up on me. Because I ruined everything that I touched.

I was so deep in thought, so when I opened my locker and a note fell out I almost screamed from the shock. Why was there a note in my locker? Who would even write to me? Maybe they got the wrong locker. Deciding that that was probably the right answer I bent to pick up the note before anyone noticed. But when I looked on the front my name was written in beautiful cursive writing. How strange. I slowly opened the note and started reading what was written.

 **Hey, I know your probably mad at me, but I just wanted to say that I'm glad you don't know who I am. It means that I can be who I want to be around you, and not who others expect me to be. It also means that I can start from scratch for once, instead of having my past and my reputation following me around all the time. I hope that you can forgive me, because I really like talking to you and getting to know you. Anyway, if you do decide to talk to me, I'll be waiting happily, every day at 5 to hear about your life and your problems or accomplishments. I know we barely know each other, but I feel as though we have a connection, something that only we share (I know, really cheesy right?) but it's true, and I hope you feel it too. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that your mad, but I'm not sorry that I won't tell you. It's better this way and I just couldn't wait for you to go online to tell you that I feel this way so I wrote you this note.**

 **Signed Anonymous (B)**

I wasn't sure what to think. My mind was so confused from the shock of it all to register any actual emotions. Was I happy to hear from him? Yes. Did I want to talk to him? Yes. Was I still mad at him? I'm not sure. I don't want to be, but I can't help it. He couldn't have that bad of a personality in real life that I would completely stop talking to him, could he? What kind of person did he think I was? Did he think that I would automatically hate him as soon as I found out? That I wouldn't even give him a chance? Why can't anything ever be simple in my life. Ughhhhhhhh! Slamming my locker shut I walked to my first class.

* * *

Once school was finished I went to my locker to drop off my books that I didn't need and pick up the ones that I did need for homework or something. I was thinking about what they hd announce in school today. Apparently there was going to be a talent show for the students. I wasn't really sure on the details but we would find out more closer to the time. Soon they would be holding auditions to see who was good enough to be in the talent show, maybe I should sign up? Apart from that the school was holding a concert in a few weeks for some reason. There was also a chance for people to perform there, all they had to do was sign their names on the sign up sheet. I would have to think about that one as well.

When I opened my locker something fell out of it. Was it another note from B? Two notes in one day, what is going on? Usually no one even bother to acknowledge my existence, but now people are giving me notes left right and centre. After closer inspection I realised that it wasn't a note but an invitation instead.

The words "You are officially invited to Sebastian Verlac's party. It will be on Friday night at 9pm." were written in bold. There was also an address written at the bottom. Of course since Sebastian was one of the populars he lived in a massive mansion that could house about 50 people with room to spare.

After much debate I decided to go to the party. It was the first one I had been invited to in a long time and plus, what harm could it do? If I didn't like it, I could just walk home, it wasn't that far from my house anyway.

* * *

When school finished on Friday, I started to get nervous about the party. What if I didn't know anyone there? What if they were all seniors that attended? I brushed these thoughts away, it wouldn't do me any good to panic. The only thing that I should be focused on is what to wear. I didn't want to stand out like a sore thumb, but I also wanted to look nice. It would be the first time in forever since I actually left the house to go to a party.

It took me a while, but after a few hours and my room being completely destroyed with clothes thrown everywhere I decided on going with a black flare dress with lacy material. Just so that I wasn't too formal I decided to wear some black converse with the dress. To top it off I wore my heart shaped necklace that my brother got me for my birthday one year. Once I was dressed I still had to do my hair and make-up. I decided to keep my hair down after I had tamed the curls to make them look wavy. For my make-up I wore dark smoky eyeshadow, a bit of eyeliner, a small about of mascara and some nude lip gloss. Once I was ready I walked to Sebastian's house with nothing but my phone and the invitation in my hands.


	6. Chapter 6

**_Sorry for the update being in the middle of the day instead of the_** ** _morning (my time), but I had a very busy morning and went out to lunch with some of my family and didn't get time to re-read the chapter before uploading it. Being the perfectionist that I am, I refuse to upload anything that I think has any mistakes in it. Plus when I went over it, I got a chance to add some stuff in it so now it's longer. Your welcome :) Enough talk, here's chapter 6._**

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It was short walk to Sebastian's house, although I'm still glad I didn't wear heels. If I didn't know that Sebastian was throwing a party before, it was pretty obvious now. You could hear the music blasting from down the street, not to mention the noise that came from all of the people jammed into the house. It looked like Sebastian invited the whole school. Maybe I would even bump into B. But before I could get my hopes up I remembered that even if I did bump into him, I wouldn't know it.

I entered the house still trying to forget about how complicated my life was and just enjoy myself. I entered what I think was the living room, or what used to be the living room. Now it just looked like a large space with a bit of furniture scattered around the room, wedged in between the pulsing bodies moving to the beat of the music. There was a DJ on a mini stage with all of his gear.

The song "Thank you" by MKTO was playing, and I felt a smile slowly forming on my face. This song always seemed to cheer me up, it made me feel like I wasn't alone in all of my suffering, like there was someone out there that understood exactly how I felt. Everyone in the room was bouncing up and down on their toes, rocking out to the song. Before I knew it, I was part of the crowd of people dancing to the beat, and singing along to the lyrics.

"Can I have this dance?" said a voice from beside me. I turned my head to see who was talking (more like to see if they were talking to me and not someone else) and to my surprise it was none other than Sebastian himself. "Wha-what?" I replied. What an idiot, I can't eve form one sentence without sounding completely stupid.

"Well it is after all my party, and you wouldn't say no to the host now would you?" With that he smirked at me as if to dare me to say no.

"I guess not"

"Shall we?" He grabbed my hand and lead me further into the 'dance floor', then he turned to me and we started moving to the music. His hands made their way to my hips and he pulled me closer. I didn't hate it, but I didn't love it either. These kinds of situations made me very uncomfortable, probably because I am not in them very often. But I didn't pull away, he wasn't doing anything wrong.

I wasn't exactly sure where to my my arms so I settled for placing them on his shoulders. This made him smirk and grip me tighter. We stayed like that for a while before he leaned in to whisper something in my ear, "Why don't we take this somewhere a little more private? Like the bedroom." That was the last straw, I tried to pull away from him, but his grip only tightened. "What's wrong? Is someone a bit shy?"

"Get off me!" I screamed. The music was so loud that no one except Sebastian heard. He was momentarily shocked, so I used that to my advantage to push away from him. Before he could reach for me again I ran from the room, my heart hammering against my chest so hard I thought it was going to burst. The music slowly faded into the background and all I could hear was the thumping of my heart.

Somehow I managed to find my way into Sebastian's garden. It was amazing to say the least. There was a small stone bench towards the back partially hidden by bushes. A small pond lay at the front of the garden surrounded by many different flowers of varying beauty. Fairy lights had been placed around the garden to give just enough light to highlight the beauty of it all without overshadowing it.

But my mind was still racing from what had just happened to fully take in the garden's beauty, I just wanted to be alone and hide from all of my problems. I managed to make my way over to the stone bench and collapse onto it, rather ungracefully might I add. Then it all hit me at once. My mothers death, my fathers numbness, my only friends anonymity. I was all alone. Everyone around me seemed to be just out of my reach, like I could see them through a window, but they couldn't see me. I couldn't touch them or scream to them that I was right in front of them. I was all alone. I could feel that my face was damp with tears, but I couldn't bring myself to wipe them away. They would just as soon be replaced with more.

"Is anyone sitting here?" said a voice from above me. I shook my head because if I tried to speak, I knew nothing would come out. There was a sudden presence next to me on the bench, warm skin brushing against my arm as the person sat down. "Are you okay? I saw what happened." So they had seen what happened to me. Great, just great. Now I'm going to be even more unpopular than I already was for rejecting one of the populars. Everyone was going to hate me. Could my life get any worse?

That's when I decided to look into the eyes of the person next to me, to show them that there was nothing left to take from me. To show them just how broken I was. Maybe then they would leave me alone. But because the universe apparently has something against me, my last chance of having some peace was gone, for I was looking into the eyes of Jace Herondale. The most uncaring person I have ever met, a.k.a the leader of the populars.

All of my sadness turned into rage. "What do you want?" I asked, putting the most venom I could into my voice to show him just how much I hated him. "Hey there, what did I ever do to you?" he replied. He was right, what had he ever done to me? Nothing. He had never personally come up to me and insulted me or told me that I was worthless, a nobody. What had I become when I just started screaming at random people for no reason whatsoever.

"I'm so sorry. What is wrong with me?" All of my anger melted away taking my strength with it. I slumped my head into my hands as I felt more hot tears fall down my cheeks."There's nothing wrong with you. I can't exactly blame you for hating me." He replied. Why was he being so nice to me? I didn't deserve his kindness.

"Yes, you should. You never did anything wrong, but I still screamed at you. I am broken beyond repair. You should go back to the party and enjoy yourself."

"We are all broken, we just need someone to help put us back together." My head snapped up then. Where had he heard that from? It couldn't be, it just couldn't.

"What? Where did you hear that?" His smile soon turned to a frown as he realised what he had just said.

He opened his mouth to speak, probably to explain himself "Listen Cla-".

"Clary!" another voice shouted from in front of me.

This couldn't be happening, "Jon?".

* * *

 _ **Please don't forget to leave a review, they give me motivation to write more. Also, I wanted to give a big thank you to everyone who has already reviewed, followed or favourited this story, a special thanks to anyone who has done all three. You guys are amazing.**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**So here's chapter 7, funny story, I was really excited to post this chapter because I thought it was one of my favourite parts, but alas, that is actually chapter 8 :( This is kind of a filler chapter but it is still important to the overall plot. I still have a lot to say so I'm gonna write it after the end of the chapter, please make sure to read that as well. Enjoy!**_

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What was he doing here? He was supposed to be in boarding school. Why was he back? Did he get expelled? Why was my life such a mess? Just when I thought I had a friend, it turns out to be Jace Herondale. Why him? Was he being honest when he talked to me, or was it just one big joke? I feel like there are two versions of him, but I don't know which one is real and which one isn't.

It's not like I could ask him with Jon standing right in front of me. Oh my god, I had almost forgotten that he was standing in front of me. "Jon, what are you doing here?"

"I got back from boarding school and when I went home to surprise you, you weren't there." he explained "Then dad said something about you going to a party so I went to look for you only to hear the music from this party blasting from all the way down the block. So I assumed you would be here. Surprise!"

I was at a loss for words, so many questions I wanted to say, but none of them seemed to be right for the moment. "Who are you?" Jace asked my brother with a hint of hostility in his voice. "I could ask you the same question?" Jon replied. Then they both looked at me expectantly, as if I held the answers to all of life's questions. But there was still nothing I could say, all words seemed to die in my mouth before they made it into the air.

"Clary? Who is this?" Jon asked. Somehow that seemed to snap me out of it. "Jon, this is Jace." I said as I pointed in the direction of Jace. "Jace this is Jonathan Fray, my brother."

After the awkward meeting between Jon, Jace and I, Jon and I decided to go home so that we could talk properly. By the time we got home it was pretty late so we just went to bed instead agreeing that we could talk tomorrow since it was Saturday anyway.

* * *

"Morning!" Jon cheered from the kitchen doorway. Why did he have to me such a morning person? Couldn't he just be grumpy in the morning like everybody else. I grunted in reply not wanting to be rude and ignore him, but also not having the energy at this time to actually form a word. "I see your still grouchy in the mornings. Nothing's changed there then."

After I had my cup of coffee I felt a hundred times better, and I started to remember a lot of the questions I had the night before. "Jon, why are you here?" I asked. "Aren't you glad to see your big brother?"."No" I replied "Why are you here? I thought you were meant to be at boarding school?"

I noticed that he didn't seem surprised at all by my bluntness. I guess if you live with someone long enough, nothing surprises you anymore. "I wanted to come home. I have one more year left of school and I didn't want to be separated from you for it. This is my last year of school Clare. After that I'm gonna go to college and then we won't see each other nearly as much as I want to. So I quit boarding school and I'm going back to our high school for my Senior year."

This was too much information to process. Of course I was happy to get to spend this year with my brother, and he did have a point about trying to spend more time together before it was too late. But what would my brother think of me when he found out that I was invisible at school? Which social group would he fit into? What if my reputation, or lack of it, affected him? WHY WAS MY LIFE FILLED WITH QUESTIONS WITH NO ANSWERS?

Like always, I shoved all of my problems to the back of my head so that I could just enjoy the moment and worry about it later. "So what's new with you Clare? We barely got to talk when I was in boarding school." Not wanting to talk about my lack of social life, I decided to tell Jonathan about the the school talent show. "Well, there is this talent show that the school is putting on, I'm not really sure about the details, but the auditions are soon and I thought I could sign up, but I'm not really sure anymore." I looked to the floor trying to avoid eye contact with Jon, just knowing that he was giving me a disapproving look right now.

"What are you talking about?" He demanded. "Of course you are going to audition. Even if I have to drag you there myself. This is a great opportunity Clary, even if you don't win, it's good experience. Plus you never get to show off those amazing dance moves of your anyway. You are going to dance right? Or are you going to play the guitar? That would be good too."

Noticing that he was going to continue like this for at least half an hour I decided to stop Jon from this monologue of his. "Jon calm down and breathe. Yes I was planning on dancing, mostly because I haven't played the guitar in a while and I'm probably rubbish now without the practice." "When are the auditions? Maybe I can sign up as well." "They're next week. What are you gonna do?" "I guess you'll just have to wait and see little sister." I rolled my eyes at him, causing the grin on his face to grow even bigger. That was my brother, annoying as hell, but I loved him anyway.

* * *

By the time Monday came my emotions were all over the place. I didn't want to go back to school, everyone hated me there. Except now Jon would be there, and so would Jace. I didn't want to face Jace either, what if it was a joke after all. I didn't know how to act around him. Would I even get the chance to talk to him, after all, he always hung out with the populars, his so called 'friends'.

Jon on the other hand was really excited to go to school. The positive energy seemed to radiate off of him, I couldn't help but feel some of his excitement as well despite all of my nervousness. Jon hadn't been to our high school since he left to go to boarding school two years ago. Of course he came back for the holidays, but he never got a chance to visit the school because we were always on holiday whenever he visited.

* * *

 ** _So what did you think? Now you know why Jon is back and that the talent show is going to be happening soon. What do you think Jon will do for his audition? Is anyone dying to find out about what happens with Clary & Jace? Tell me how you feel :)_**

 ** _So I have already been using a bit of music for my stories, as in some that is in the story and some that isn't (stuff that you can listen to while reading) and I just wanted to say that I have put a lot of thought into these song choices because of the lyrics and the kind of emotions that each song can make you feel. There may be songs that you don't like and some that you do, so feel free to give me some feedback, even negative stuff, just remember that I am trying my best. Also if there is a song that you think would really suit this story, or even a song that you really like, PM me the name of the song and I will listen to it and see if it can go anywhere in the story or as a song for a chapter._**

 ** _One last thing, I am warning you now that the next chapter contains a few songs that I highly recommend that you listen to when reading. It has been one of my favourite chapters to write and I hope you like it as well. If your just dying to read it leave a review and I might be convinced to post it early (it might not take that much convincing). Until next time xx M_**


	8. Chapter 8

**_Here it is, Chapter 8. I wanted to upload some links to images of what the auditorium looks like, but I still can't get any links to work on my profile (tear). Anyway I have already written chapter 9, but after that I'm gonna try and make the chapters longer so it might take me some time to update after that, just to warn you guys._**

 ** _Lastly I would like to give a shoutout to AnnieBea for their review of chapter 7, it really made me laugh. I have now decided that if there are any reviews that make me laugh or sound really interesting then I will give a shoutout to the person responsible :D Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, followed or favourited. It really means a lot to me. Love you guys -M_**

* * *

I don't know exactly what happened because my mind seems to be repressing the memory of earlier in the week, but somehow it was now Thursday, the day of the auditions and Jon has managed to befriend the populars (still trying to figure that one out). I'm not saying that Jon isn't likeable, because he is, he has such an amazing personality that no one can hate him, it's just not possible. But I thought that I would somehow manage to ruin his chances of becoming friends with those people, they did hate me after all.

At least he managed to make friends, and if he was friends with the populars then life would be good for him at school. All I had to do now was pretend that nothing was wrong with my life, especially the part were some of the populars tend to pick on me for no reason. If I did that, then everything would be okay for Jon.

The auditions for the school talent show were going to be held after school, so any minute now. To say I was nervous was an understatement. I never really performed to anyone other than my brother, unless you count the time that Jace was spying on me, but I didn't know he was there so I don't count it. Jon was my brother, he had to say that I was good and I'm still unsure of which Jace is real, so I have no idea wether he was telling me the truth or not when he said that I was an amazing dancer.

Remind me again why I decided to put myself through all of this emotional torture when everything else in my life was doing a pretty good job already of doing that. Oh yeah, that's right, it's because I'm stupid and thought that it would be a good idea. I'm never trusting those instincts again.

RING!

This was the one time that I was actually disappointed that school was over. Jon told me to meet him in the auditorium because his last class was on the opposite side of the school to mine. This gave me time to think on the way to the auditorium, this wasn't going to be good. Every time I actually think about something I end up freaking myself out and not doing it. Luckily it wasn't that long a walk so I only had time to make myself really nervous.

The auditorium was quite big, but I guess it would have to be considering that this was a very big school. I found Jon sitting in one of the chairs close to the middle. "Have they called any names yet?" I asked as I plonked myself down next to him. "Not yet." Just then the first name was called. It was a girl, probably a freshman from my guess. The poor thing looked so nervous, her hands were trembling and she was as pale as a ghost. Turns out she didn't do that badly after she calmed down. She was a pretty good singer, not amazing, but good enough to get her through I think.

After a few names were called Jon was up. Unlike myself, he didn't even look like he had ever heard of the word nervous, ket alone knew what it meant. I still didn't know what he was going to do, very time I asked him he would just say that I would just have to wait and see while winking at me. Sometimes I wondered how we were related, we were so different yet the same, it was so strange.

Jon walked up the stage and towards the mic stand confidently before the music began to fill the room. I waited with anticipation to see what he would do. That's when I recognised the music as the song "Feeling Good" by Michael Bublé. I already knew that Jon had an amazing voice, but I never thought he wanted to sing in public, I always thought it was reserved for the shower, or when he thought no one was listening.

If Jon wasn't popular before, he sure was now. To add to his perfect voice, he had just the right attitude for the song. Standing behind that mic stand he looked in complete control. He started to clutch the stand as he sang.

When the song reached it's climax he removed the mic from it's stand and started to stroll around the stage like he owned the place, winking at girls as he passed. I swear I saw one of them fan their own face to get rid of their blush. I thought that only happened in films, how cheesy. Despite how I felt towards the girls I couldn't pull the smile off of my face. Jon looked so happy up there with his signature smirk, like he belonged. Looking at him being so happy made me forget about all of my worries and troubles. He hit all the right notes, and the passion he put into the song was unmeasurable.

When he was finished I clapped and cheered louder than I even thought possible, I didn't care who turned to look at me like I was a freak, I was just so proud of my brother. He even got a standing ovation from some people. When he exited the stage my name was called. Suddenly the smile dropped from my face and the nerves came crashing back all at once.

I wasn't ready, okay I was, I had been practicing the same piece for months, but emotionally I wasn't ready. I walked up on stage with my gaze set on the floor, the only time I would look up was to see my brother. I wouldn't acknowledge anybody else's presence in the room. It was just me and Jon. I sat on the floor in my starting position and waited for the music to start. I was dancing to the same piece that Jace had watched me do, "Earned it" by The Weeknd. Since contemporary was one of my strongest points I thought it would be the best choice for my audition.

When the music started I was lost, gone deep in thought. My body moved by itself, I didn't even need to think about it anymore, I just let it move by itself, trying to put as much passion into my dance as I could. I still wouldn't look at anyone but Jon, but seeing his face gave me enough confidence to keep going. He looked at me like he always did, with pride and a small mile that made me think that I was amusing him somehow. I returned the smile to him as I danced. I was listening to the lyrics and not for the first time wished that someone cared about me enough to be broken with me. My eyes started to glisten with unshed tears, but I wouldn't let them fall in front of everyone.

The music finally finished and I was breathing heavily, trying to catch my breath again before I moved off stage. There was a loud sound above me so I peeled my eyes off of the floor and look at the audience for the first time. People were clapping, like actually clapping for me. This had to be a dream, this couldn't be real. I scanned the crowd only to come across a pair of golden eyes watching me. We stayed like that for a few minutes until the clapping died down and I was forced to move my eyes away so that I could go and sit next to Jonathan.

While more people performed all I could think about were those golden eyes. Who did they belong to? Jace? or B? Which one was real? Maybe it was better if I didn't know, that way if it was Jace then my heart wouldn't be broken into a million pieces like I fear it would be if it did turn out to be him, the arrogant child that went around the school like he owned the place.

"Jace Herondale"

I snapped out of my internal monologue to find that a white grand piano with a mic attached to it had been placed on stage and sitting behind it was Jace. His fingers started to move across the keys and as soon as I recognised the song, I swear my heart stopped all together. His eyes fluttered closed as he played the notes and I was reminded of an innocent child in that moment. All of his arrogance and confidence gone in that one second before he started singing.

 **Say something, I'm giving up on you**

 **I'll be the one, if you want me to**

 **Anywhere, I would've followed you**

 **Say something, I'm giving up on you**

 **And I am feeling so small**

 **It was over my head**

 **I know nothing at all**

 **And I will stumble and fall**

 **I'm still learning to love**

 **Just starting to crawl**

Why did he pick that song? Who am I kidding, I know exactly why he picked that song. He wanted to show me that the real him was the one that I knew and nobody else did. He wanted to show me that he cared and that he was sorry for lying to me. But the whole reason he didn't want to tell me was because he was afraid that I would stop talking to him, which is the exact thing that I did anyway. I am such a horrible person.

 **Say something, I'm giving up on you**

 **I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you**

 **Anywhere, I would've followed you**

 **Say something, I'm giving up on you**

 **And I will swallow my pride**

 **You're the one that I love**

 **And I'm saying goodbye**

 **Say something, I'm giving up on you**

 **And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you**

 **And anywhere, I would've followed you**

 **Say something, I'm giving up on you**

 **Say something, I'm giving up on you**

 **Say something**

He looked straight at me as he finished the song and I swear I could see his eyes glistening. I knew that the last verse in the song wasn't just part of the song, but a message to me, a plea. He wanted me to make the first move because he was worried that if he did that I would reject him. But when could I talk to him? When could I tell him that I believed him?

We held each others gazes once more before everyone started to clap and cheer, the girls more than anyone else. But I couldn't move, frozen in place. When he stood up, his characteristic smirk returned to his face and the air of arrogance that always seemed to surround him was there once again. A single tear rolling down my cheek.


	9. Chapter 9

**_I can't believe this story has reached 100 followers! I want to say a massive thank you to everyone following this story, you guys are the best. I love you so much._**

 ** _Shout out to shadowang_** _ **el22 for their heartfelt review, I couldn't help but smile when I was reading it. You have no idea how much it means to me to hear those words. :D**_

 ** _So this chapter may not be very long, but I am telling you now so that you have enough time to get excited that the next chapter is more than twice the size of the usual length. I am feeling very proud, not to mention I really enjoyed writing it and I think you guys will love how it ends (I hope). Here's chapter 9, enjoy and don't forget to review -M_**

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I thought that school would be different, but it wasn't, it was the same. The only thing that changed was me. I kept finding myself looking for him, watching him. If everything he told me was true then maybe I could see how unhappy he was, maybe I could see the real him behind the facade.

Since Jon had become friends with the populars he was usually hanging out with Jace anyway. Out of all of the people to become good friends with, why did Jace have to be good friends with Jon? They were always together, but I don't think Jon knows about Jace and I. That would mean that Jace would have told him about himself, and I doubt he would tell anyone but me. How is it that I know him, but don't all at once? It's all so confusing.

Ever since the auditions I have wanted to talk to him, but it never seems like the right time. Jon, Jace and I all made it through the auditions along with a few other people. Jace and Jon's auditions were the talk of the school, obviously, whereas people knew about my audition but never seemed to remember that I was the one that did the dance. I keep overhearing people talking about who they thought was the person that did the audition. My name never came up, it was always one of the populars' names or even one the of the cheerleaders' names. I wasn't really surprised that no one remembered me, after all, I am invisible.

After school I had dance practice as usual, though now it was different. Instead of picturing myself as the only person in the world I started to picture myself and Jace as the only two people in the world. This brought me a new sense of peace that I have never really felt before, not even when I danced. It was so strange yet beautiful all at once.

Jon didn't have any after school activities so he walked home when school was over and was always home before me, so when I got home today I wasn't surprised to find Jon already there, what surprised me was that Jace was there as well. When I saw them both in the kitchen talking I completely froze. Jon, who was facing me saw me arrive immediately. "Hey, how was dance practice Clare?" Jon asked. "Um…it was…it was fine." I stuttered while trying to pry my eyes away from Jace. "By the way, I invited Jace over for dinner. You two know each other right? From the party?" continued Jon.

A smile formed on Jace's face, a pure smile that looked like it came completely naturally, unlike the usual smile you could see of Jace's face. "Yh, you could say that we know each other I guess" Jace replied to Jon's earlier question. I was still desperate to talk to Jace, but it was quite obvious that Jon had no clue about our situation so I decided that now was not the right time either. "I'll be in my room doing homework if you need anything" I told Jon before making my way to my room.

* * *

I had finished all of my homework in about an hour and dinner wasn't going to be for another few hours, so after finishing my homework I decided to try and rehearse. With the talent show coming up I could do with as much practice as possible, though there wasn't enough space in my room so I was forced to go and rehearse elsewhere. Usually I rehearsed in the living room by just moving all of the furniture out of the way because that was the only space large enough for me. My dad was never home until late so that wasn't a problem, and the boys had probably gone to Jon's room so I had the living room all to myself.

I still hadn't decided on what kind of dance to do for the talent show so right now I practiced all different kinds until I could find a piece of music that would inspire me. Deciding that I had already worked on contemporary dancing today after school I put on my pointe shoes and played the song "Safe and Sound" by Taylor Swift. Halfway through the dance I felt someone's presence, but I didn't want to stop and look to see who it was because it was either Jonathan who had already seen me dance a thousand times so I wasn't too worried about that. Or it was Jace, in which case I definitely did not want to look.

The music came to and end and I was forced to look and see who had been watching me. To my surprise they had started clapping and when I went to see who it was, there stood Jon and Jace. Both of them had been watching me, and now they were clapping! "Umm, I didn't notice anyone was there." I lied. "You shouldn't be ashamed, your an amazing dancer sis" Jon said "plus, I've already seen you dance like a thousand times and Jace was there when you auditioned, so we have both already seen you dance. Anyway, I'm gonna go start dinner." And with that he left to the kitchen.

"He's not wrong you know, you are an amazing dancer." Jace said. "Thanks" I replied, looking at the floor in an attempt to hide the blush forming on my cheeks. Gathering all the courage I could, I had just enough to talk to him and say "I really liked your song choice for your audition". "Someone very special to me told me about the song once and I couldn't help myself." Did he just say what I think he said? He couldn't have. I must have imagined it.

"Clary?"

"Yeah?"

"I really am sorry about lying to you, but I meant every word that I said and I hope that you don't hate me, because the person that I was online IS the real me."

"I'm not angry at you for lying" I told him, as I said it I could see a glint of hope form in his eyes, but I continued talking before he could say anything. "I'm angry at you because you thought that I was the kind of person that would just judge you like that. Did you really think that as soon as I found out who you were that I would stop talking to you? Because I wouldn't, I would try and find out why you would be so ashamed of yourself that you felt the need to lie to me."

"I'm sorry. Do you think, that maybe, we could just start over?"

"No, I don't think we can. But-" I said as his face started to fall into a deep frown "I think we can move on and be friends."

After that we talked for a while before Jon told us that dinner was ready. He had made pasta in tomato sauce. That night the three of us talked for hours and laughed and acted like we had known each other for years, when in fact it had only been a number of days. That night, I felt normal for once and I didn't want it to end like it inevitably would.


	10. Chapter 10

_**The song I used in this chapter is "Somewhere Only We Know"- Keane (Max Schneider, Elizabeth Gillies, and Kurt Schneider cover) I recommend that you listen to this version when it gets to the part that you need it for because any other version might not fit. I spent 2 hours trying to find the perfect song for this chapter so I hope you guys appreciate it and listen when I say listen to this version on youtube not another version.**_

 ** _Sorry about how there are lines between the lyrics at the end, every time I tried to separate the lines they just went back together, so this was the only way that I could do it. I also want to apologise for uploading the chapter and then deleting it, there were some technical difficulties that I had to fix before uploading it._**

 ** _This chapter is extra long and it gets very interesting towards the end ;) Hope you like it and don't forget to review. We've reached over 100 reviews! Love you all so much! -M_**

* * *

After Jace and I decided to be friends, I found myself talking to him more and more on the school chat room. I even downloaded an app on my phone that allowed me to use the chatroom anytime I wanted to, I think Jace did the same thing because I keep getting random messages in school from him. Though I'm not complaining, they're usually really funny and I have to stifle my laugh so that I don't look like any more of a freak than I already do.

Yesterday during art I had to turn my phone off in case I got any messages from him because I really needed to focus on the project we had been assigned, but it never stopped me from looking over at him. Turns out he actually sits opposite me in class, since the easels are set up in a circular formation. This makes it almost impossible for me to not look over at him whenever I lift my head. Sometime's I look over and he is looking at me, and we share a look between us until someone interrupts us. It's usually a girl trying to get Jace's attention, but sometime's it's one of his 'friends' trying to talk to him.

I have english first period today like usual, but now it's not so bad. Don't get me wrong, it's still horrible and I still hate it, but not as much as I used to. Why, you may ask. Well let me tell you, it has a little something to do with my phone buzzing every so often with a message from B. When I got to the classroom I took my usual seat as everyone filed in around me and did the same. a.k.a our english teacher, started the lesson like usual. Suddenly there was a buzzing and I reached into my bag to check my phone.

 **B_Why do you think hates me so much?**

 **C_He does not hate you.**

 **B_Yes he does. Did you not just see him scowl at me?**

 **C_Your imagining things. He didn't scowl at you.**

 **B_Fine, but just remember, what is about to happen is your fault.**

 **C_What are you talking about?**

I waited for a reply, but when none came, I looked over to Jace to find him smirking at me. What was he doing? " ?" Jace called.

"Yes Jace? What is so important that is disrupting my lesson." replied.

"Well you see, I couldn't help but overhear someone's phone buzzing and I thought to myself, who would be so rude as to be texting during your fascinating lecture."

I looked at Jace with wide eyes and tried to communicate with him telepathically just so that I could yell at him. Was he trying to get me into trouble? What if asked to see my phone, then not only would I get in trouble, but Jace would as well.

"And where exactly did you hear this phone buzzing?"

"It was around that side of the classroom sir" Jace replied as he pointed towards the side of the classroom I was sitting in. I started to glare at him as he looked over at me, but all he did was flash his angelic smile before turning back to .

"Well then Jace, why don't you be so kind as to sit next to Ms Fray so that if you hear the buzzing again you can identify the culprit. And before you go, here's a little moving present." said as he handed Jace a detention slip "And next time you decide to interrupt my class, make sure you actually have a valid excuse ."

"Certainly sir" Jace said as he packed up his things into his bag and came to sit next to me. I was stunned, not because Jace had to sit next to me. That was obvious considering the fact that I was the only one not sitting next to someone. What surprised me was the fact that Jace did what I think he did.

"Told you he hated me" Jace whispered to me as he sat in the chair next to mine.

"Why the hell did you do that?" I snapped, I was still whispering though since had returned to his lecture.

"In order to prove to you that even when I had done nothing wrong I still get the blame because HATES me."

"But you didn't have to try and get me into trouble with you."

"In my defence, I hadn't thought that far ahead. Anyway, even if you did get in trouble, at least we could have gone to detention together." And with that he faces the front with a smirk plastering his face. Why did he have to be so infuriating?

* * *

Jace and I didn't have any more classes together after that until art which was after lunch. After maths I had to go to my locker to change my books for chemistry, but when I opened my locker something fell out of it. I picked up the piece of paper to find my name written on it in cursive writing. This could only be from one person.

 **Hey, I always find myself writing these things when your mad at me. I realise what I did in english was probably not the best thing to do at the time, so I have decided to do something to make it up to you. I assume that you have heard about the concert the school is putting on soon, anyway, I heard you're allowed to perform whatever you want as long as you sign your name up for it so I was wondering if you wanted to perform something with me. Before you say no, I want you to think about the conversation we had once when I told you to pretend that we had met in real life instead of online. Think about what I told you, do you remember what you told me after? Because I do.**

 **Signed Anonymous ;)**

How did he always know what to say to make me stop being mad at him? As I placed the note inside my chemistry book so that I could look at it later in class, I felt a small smile creep it's way onto my face. Why was it that this boy could make me smile so easily when no one else could? I got to chemistry a few minutes early, so I slipped out my phone and went on to the app for the school chat room, quickly typing something out.

 **C_Auditorium after school.**

* * *

It was now lunch and I could still feel the excitement at the prospect of being able to perform with Jace. I refused to think about what people will think when they see us perform together or if he'll regret asking me to perform with him closer to the time, or even if we will work well together.

As usual I grabbed my lunch and went to the courtyard to eat my lunch in peace where there will be no one to judge me for being alone. I went to sit down underneath a large oak tree before pulling out my earphones and listening to a few songs I was considering dancing to.

When lunch was over I headed back to my locker to grab my books before my next class. As I approached my locker I could see a note stuck to the from of it. I pulled the note off of my locker and unfolded it so I could read it's contents.

 **Dear loser,**

 **I'm sorry this has to be in note form but I realised that I hadn't reminded you of how unimportant you are in a while and I didn't have the time to tell you to your face, so this note will have to do for now. At least this way you can keep the note so you can remember how no one in this school likes you, no, how much they HATE you. Why do you even bother coming in to school? Huh? You have no friends. You have no life. You have nothing. The only use you have here is a source of entertainment for the rest of us, but you can't even do that right seen as your boring most of the time. Just drop out already, or better yet, DROP DEAD.**

 **Signed K.**

I scrunched up the note and stuffed it in my locker. This wasn't the first note I had received, or even the first bit of bullying I had been victim to, so I'm not going to let it affect me. I was determined to prove them wrong, I was going to prove them all wrong. Starting with coming first in the talent show, but before that I get to give them a little sneak preview at the concert.

* * *

When the final bell rang at the end of the day I only had one thought. Get to the auditorium. If I let myself concentrate on anything else then I know I'm going to start panicking and doubting myself. So I'm only going to focus on one thought, that thought being getting to the auditorium as quickly as I can before my feet can register which direction I'm going in and decide to change it.

This is probably the one and only time I have ever been grateful for my lack of height. It has finally given me an advantage over others and allows me to move through the crowded hallway fairly quickly. Once I reach the auditorium my movements freeze. He's there, sitting at the piano, exactly the way he was when he auditioned. He's playing a simple tune I'm not familiar with, but it sounds so beautiful I can't help but fall in love with it straight away. I'm afraid to move in case I make a sound, I feel like he's a dear in the woods, completely at peace, and I'm the hunter about to ruin it all.

He finishes the tune, but his fingers remain on the keys. He's completely frozen, the only movement is the rise and fall of his chest as he breathes. His head is bowed down and I can't help but feel his pain. His shield is gone and he is completely exposed to the world. Then I realise that he still doesn't know I'm there, so I decide to make my presence known.

"That was beautiful." I say. His head snaps up and his amber eyes immediately meet my green ones.

"I didn't realise anyone was listening." Shame starts to fill me as I realise that I was obviously invading a private moment.

"I'm sorry, I should have warned you I was here. It's just, when I heard the music, I didn't want you to stop." I pull my eyes away from his and gaze at the floor, not wanting to see his reaction.

"It's okay, I'm glad you got to hear it." I look up to see him smiling at me and I can't help but smile back in response. "So I'm guessing that this means I'm forgiven and you want to perform with me at the concert, right?"

"Right" I say as I make my way over to the stage. He shuffles along the bench seat of the piano in a gesture for me to sit down next to him, which is exactly what I do. "I was thinking maybe we could perform a song or something, though I'm not sure what song to do."

"I have an idea." Slowly he raises his hands back up to the keys and begins to play a song. A smile spread across my face as I recognise the tune. It' perfect.

 **(+Jace -Clary *Both)**

 _ **+I walked across an empty land**_

 _ **+I knew the pathway like the back of my hand**_

His voice was like honey as he sang, I could listen to it forever. He looked at me as he sang and I know exactly what he's thinking. So I open my mouth and before I know what's happening I'm singing along.

 _ **+I felt the earth beneath my feet**_

 _ **+Sat by the river and it made me complete**_

* * *

 ** _*Oh simple thing where have you gone?_**

 ** _*I'm getting old and I need something to rely on_**

 ** _*So tell me when you're gonna let me in_**

 ** _*I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin_**

* * *

 ** _-I came across a fallen tree_**

 ** _-I felt the branches of it looking at me_**

 ** _-Is this the place we used to love?_**

 ** _-Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?_**

* * *

 ** _*Oh simple thing where have you gone?_**

 ** _*I'm getting old and I need something to rely on_**

 ** _*So tell me when you're gonna let me in_**

 ** _*I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin_**

* * *

 ** _*And if you have a minute why don't we go_**

 ** _*Talk about it somewhere only we know?_**

 ** _*This could be the end of everything_**

 ** _*So why don't we go_**

 ** _*Somewhere only we know?_**

 ** _*Somewhere only we know?_**

* * *

 ** _+Oh simple thing where have you gone?_**

 ** _+I'm getting old and I need something to rely on_**

 ** _-So tell me when you're gonna let me in_**

 ** _-I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin_**

* * *

 ** _*And if you have a minute why don't we go_**

 ** _*Talk about it somewhere only we know?_**

 ** _*This could be the end of everything_**

 ** _*So why don't we go_**

 ** _*Somewhere only we know?_**

 ** _*Somewhere only we know?_**

 ** _*Somewhere only we know?_**

When the song's finished I realise just how close we have become. Our arms are brushing together as he moves to face me and my heart skips a beat. I don't know what to say, there are so many things rushing through my mind, but I can never catch anything long enough to make sense of it.

"I love that song, it's perfect." I state. He doesn't reply as his hand slowly moves to my face to move a stray curl behind my ear. His hand then goes to my cheek and I can't help but lean into it as I feel the heat from his palm rushing into my cheek and radiating around my body. We stare silently into each other's eyes for a while as we lean closer and closer towards each other.

"Your so beautiful" he whispers before his lips touch mine. It's a slow and sweet kiss, everything I imagined it would be. His lips brush against mine and leave a trail of fire wherever they go. My heart feels like it's about to explode but has also stopped at the same time. My mind is racing faster than it ever has before, yet at the same time I'm completely at peace.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Song for second half of chapter is "Secrets" by One Republic or "Stay with me" by Sam Smith. I can't decide between them and either one would be good.**_

 _ **Shoutout to ICanExplain for their review of chapter 10. It was very original and funny :)**_

 _ **I know a lot of you are confused about how some of the other characters are feeling at times, but just remember that this story is in Clary's point of view, therefore I can only try and explain how others are feeling through their body language, so it's not very easy but I'm trying my best.**_

 _ **Another thing a lot of people have mentioned is if or when other characters are going to come into the story. I promise that Simon, Isabel, Alec & Magnus will all be in the story, although they may not play a big part in it. I have only planned a few more chapters so I'm not sure how important these characters are to the overall plot. If you guys want to see a particular character more involved in the story just tell me either in a review or PM me and I'll see what I can do, although it won't happen for a while because like I said I already have the next few chapters planned out already.**_

 _ **Pre warning this chapter gets very sad and there is a cliffhanger at the end. Enjoy -M**_

* * *

It's Saturday afternoon and everything feels right with the world. When I got home after my rehearsal with Jace, Jon immediately saw the goofy grin on my face and asked me about it. Obviously I couldn't exactly tell him what was going on so I settled for telling him it was nothing. I know, I know, it's the worst excuse ever, but hey, Jon managed to buy it.

I waltzed into the kitchen deciding what to make myself for lunch when I see Jon there cooking some food already. "What's cooking good looking?" I ask, that was my first mistake.

"So you finally decided to acknowledge who the better looking sibling is, glad to know you came to your senses after all these years sis."

"Ugh. you know what I meant Jon"

"Yeah, but it's much more fun to tease you"

"Your impossible. I was in a perfectly good mood before you had to go and ruin it."

"Would your good mood be for the same reason that you were smiling like an idiot the other day after school?"

"I was not smiling like an idiot!"

"That's beside the point."

"I told you it was nothing."

"And I told you I thought it was a load of rubbish."

"Jon, your on fire."

"Now, now Clare. Trying to distract me by complimenting me is not gonna work. I already know exactly how good looking I am, and it also helps that many others agree."

"Who else it telling you how good looking you are?"

"No one!" He replied quickly, almost suspiciously.

"Okay. Anyway, that's not what I meant. I was trying to tell you that whatever you are cooking is on fire. Jus thought I should warn you."

"What?!" He quickly rushed over to the burning food leaving his phone behind on the counter. It buzzed loudly, but Jon was to preoccupied to notice. Now what kind of a sister would I be if I didn't help Jon out and read his message for him. It could be an emergency after all. Yeah, that logic works. I grabbed Jon's phone, luckily it doesn't require a password and scrolled through his messages.

 **J_Hey babe, I was wondering if were still on for tomorrow night. I'm planning on taking you somewhere special for our anniversary.**

 **A_Yh were still on, but you know you don't have to do that. I would be happy just having takeout and watching movies, I don't want you spending all this money for me.**

 **J_It's no problem Aline, I really want to do something special for my girlfriend, so suck it up because it's happening. I love you.**

 **A_I love you too.**

My first thought was 'GROSE!', my second thought was 'who would be sad enough to go out with my brother!' and my third thought was 'GROSE!'.

"Is that my phone?" BUSTED! Oh well, at least now I could tease him all I wanted.

"Yeah, you got a message and I decided to check it for you being the loving sister I am."

"You what?!"

"So you love Aline huh? Who's Aline? Why didn't you tell me you had a girlfriend?"

"I-I- ughhhhh. Clary! Why did you have to go and read my messages?"

"Now don't get like that Jon, I think it's sweet, grose, but sweet. I want to meet her."

"Absolutely not!"

"Why not?"

"Because I don't need my sister embarrassing me in front of my girlfriend."

"Who says I'm gonna embarrass you?"

"It's you Clary. It's in your DNA"

"Whatever, go eat your burned food."

"It's not burned, it's just well done." With that he left, not realising his phone was still in my hand. Apparently my luck seems to have taken a turn recently because just as Jon was out of hearing range, his phone started to buzz from a phone call. I looked at the screen to see none other than Aline had called. My finger moved to press the green button before I could even think to stop it.

"Hey Jon, I was just wondering where we were going tomorrow night, I still have to pick out what to wear and I don't want to end up looking like a complete weirdo."

"Hey, you must be Aline. I'm Clary, Jon's sister."

"Oh sorry, I thought you were Jon. It's nice to meet you. I've been telling Jon that I wanted to talk to you for ages but he kept telling me you were either sick or out of the house. I kind of got the feeling he didn't want us to meet."

"Yh, I got that feeling too. I wouldn't have even found out about you had I not been snooping through Jon's phone earlier. There was logic behind my actions, but right now the logic seems kind of sketchy now I think about it."

"I think it's better if I don't ask."

"Yeah, it probably is."

"Where is Jon anyway? I'm sure he would probably kill you if he knew we were talking, not that I'm complaining."

"He's eating his dinner, he forgot his phone in the kitchen where I was conveniently-"

"Clary! Have you seen my phone? I think I left it in the kitchen." Jon shouted from another room.

"I've got to go before Jon finds me and kills me for talking to you. It was really nice meeting you Aline."

"Yeah you too. Bye Clary."

"Bye." I hung up just in time before Jon walked into the room again.

"Have you seen my phone?"

"Yh, it's right here where you left it on the counter. Duh" I was trying my hardest to sound convincing, I was terrible at lying when it came to Jon. Somehow he always managed to find out when I wasn't telling the truth.

"Oh, thanks" I had to hold in my sigh of relief so I didn't blow my cover. I can't believe I just got away with that.

"So, you never told me exactly why you had that stupid grin on your face the other day."

"It was nothing Jon. And for the last time, it wasn't a stupid grin."

* * *

I woke up late on Sunday to the sound of the doorbell. It's not like I was expecting anyone, so it must have been one of Jonathan's friends. Maybe it was Aline, after all, they did have a date tonight. If I run now, will I get there fast enough to reach the door before Jon? It's worth a try.

I jump out of bed as fast as I can, completely forgetting to put any shoes on. The cold floor is harsh against my skin, but I don't have time to worry about it as I rush to the front door. I managed to make it to the door before Jon and without thinking I swung it wide open, only to be met with an amused smirk and a pair of golden eyes.

Suddenly remembering that I was wearing a pair of skimpy shorts and a baggy t-shirt (don't judge, it's very comfortable) my face began to flush from embarrassment.

"Someone's eager to see me." Jace stated in a mocking tone.

"I thought you were someone else." I reply. It wasn't a lie, but I probably should have told him that I was still happy to see him judging from his fallen expression. Biting back the urge to massage his ego anymore than necessary I decided to tell him the truth. "As in Jon's girlfriend, the one he's been hiding from me for god only knows how long. What are you doing here anyway?"

"I invited him." Jon's voice said from behind me. He had managed to sneak up on me, so when he spoke, my whole body jumped from the fright.

"Jonathan! Don't do that to me!" Both boys seemed to find it hilarious and were on the floor laughing their heads off for a good five minutes. Tears were streaming down their faces from laughter by the time they finally got a grip on themselves. "If your done laughing at me, maybe you would care to explain why you invited Jace over." I directed my question at Jon.

"Am I not allowed to invite my friends over? Just because you never seem to have any friends doesn't mean I'm not allowed Clare." He was only joking, but Jon didn't realise just how much what he said hurt. He didn't know about my life because I didn't want to worry him with my problems. I could feel my eyes go cloudy from unshed tears, not wanting to cry in front of either of them I tried to get away before they noticed. Apparently it didn't work because as I started making my way to my room I could hear Jon's concerned voice, "Clary, what's wrong? Clary?!" I just ignored him as I rushed into my room to wallow in my sadness by myself.

When I reached my room I collapsed onto my bed with my back to the door as the tears started to flow freely from my eyes. A few seconds later I could hear knocking on my door. "Jon I'm fine! Just leave me alone! It's nothing!" The door creaked open and I could hear footsteps approaching my bed. "I said I'm fine. Please just leave me alone Jon." It came out more like a croak due to the crying. There were more footsteps coming closer and closer, making their way around the bed to stand in front of me. "Jon please." I begged closing my eyes.

When I opened my eyes Jon was crouching in front of me, except, it wasn't Jon at all. It was Jace. He reached a hand up to my face and gently wiped a tear off my cheek. "You have me Clary. You'll always have me." He smiled at me, the kind of smile that only I got to see. I attempted a weak smile back, but my heart wasn't in to it.

"Are you my friend then?" I asked weakly.

"If that's what you want me to be… then yes." Thought the way he said it told me he didn't want to be my friend.

"But that's not what you want."

"Remember when we did that thing were we asked each other questions, and we had to answer truthfully?" I nodded for him to go on. "Well I've never lied to you Clary, so no, I don't want to be your friend." In one single second my whole heart shattered like broken glass. The tears that had slowed down began to flow quicker. Jace raised his hand once again to wipe away the tears on my cheek, only this time his hand stayed there stroking the skin as he talked. "Hey, hey, hey. No more tears, you didn't let me finish. I don't want to be your friend Clary, because the kind of affection I have for you is not the friend kind, it's so much more."

He was leaning closer and closer as he talked and by the time he was finished talking our heads were as close as they could get without touching. He was so close I could feel his breath brushing against my skin. I couldn't stand it any longer, the words he just said and his proximity were too much for me. In one bold move, I closed the distance between us, smashing our lips together.

After a moment of brief shock, he returned the kiss. Unlike our first kiss that was gentle and soft, this one was filled with passion and want. Jace pushed himself off of his crouching position and placed his knee on the bed so that he could balance better. His hands were on my waist holding my in place while mine found themselves clutching at his shirt, urging him to come closer. He happily complied and was now leaning over me, his whole body on the bed just above mine. He removed one of his hands from my waist in order to use it to hold himself up against the bed.

All my worries were forgotten as our bodies folded together. When I had to come up for air his lips moved across my neck, sucking at the skin. I moved my head to the right in order to give him better access to the skin as his lips trailed down my neck to my collarbone and then back up to my mouth. Far too quickly his lips pulled away and I felt the immediate loss.

"You son of a bitch! Get your hands off of my sister!" Jon shouted as he stepped in front of me to create a barrier after successfully ripping Jace away and throwing him to the floor a few feet away. "I thought we were friends!"

"Jeez Jon, we are friends" Jace replied as has stumbled to his feet.

"Really? Because I've seen the way you treat girls around school, and if you were really my friend then you wouldn't go after my sister! Especially when she's upset! Not to mention when I'm in the house! How much worse could it get?!"

"Jon relax." I said, trying to calm my brother before he ripped Jace's head off.

"Relax?! What the hell Clary?! You barely know the guy! You've talked, what, twice in total? You don't know what he's like! I thought you were better than that!"

"Jon don't take it out on her okay? It was my fault, blame me." Jace said.

"I'll get to you in a minute, and if I were you, I'd start running now before I do."

"Stop! Both of you just stop! Jon, it was my fault okay? I'm the one who started kissing him, not the other way around."

"But that doesn't explain why he was on top of you! He knew perfectly well that you were my sister, but that didn't stop him from kissing you back! He's only gonna break your heart Clary! He doesn't care about you!"

"Why don't you let him tell you how he feels instead of just assuming!" I don't know why I was shouting now, I was trying to calm Jon down, not make him even more mad.

"Because he's a liar Clary! He tells girls exactly what they want to hear to get them to sleep with him, then he just leaves them there with broken hearts once he's done with them!" Jon turned around so that he was now facing Jace for the next part. "Isn't that true Jace".

There was a moment of silence while Jace was looking at Jon before he turned to me. As quick as a flash, his face was wiped of any emotion, his posture seemed to go rigid as he went to speak.

"Jon's right, I was only using you Clary. You should stay away from me, before you get hurt."

Sometime during the argument tears had started falling down my cheeks. This couldn't be happening, how did everything change so quickly. It was like one of those dreams where everything seems perfect and then all of a sudden the world morfs and changes and your dream has suddenly become a nightmare. Except this time, I couldn't wake up. "Your lying! You said you would never lie to me! You promised me! You promised!" All of my sadness had now turned into anger, red hot anger that was welling up inside of me and bursting out through my voice. "Stop lying to me! It's not true! It's not true. It's not true." My voice became quieter and quieter until it was barely audible.

"I'm sorry Clary. You don't deserve this. I'll leave you alone from now on."

"No! This isn't you! Please, don't leave. If you care about me at all you won't leave. Please."

"I'm sorry." Those two words echoed in my head as he walked out the door. He was gone. He was actually gone and I could't do anything about it. The realisation of it all was like a crushing weight to my heart. Unable to hold myself up I fell to the floor and started to sob. Jon held me while I sobbed speaking comforting words into my ear. But I couldn't hear anything other than the two words that would haunt me for the rest of my life. Those two words that would be my last memory of him.

When the tears finally stopped I still stayed in my small cocoon of blankets that Jon had placed around us when he moved us to my bed. Nothing seemed to matter anymore, I could't feel anything but emptiness. The world seemed to have lost all of it's beauty, but I couldn't bring myself to care about it, or anything else.

* * *

 _ **Was it good? Bad? Tell me what you think about the chapter, I want to know.**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**Shout out to (** **ProfangirlerTMI)**_ _**& oesteffel for their reviews. Thank you so much for your words of wisdom.**_

 _ **Song for first half of the chapter is "Between the devil and the deep blue sea" by XYLO**_

 _ **Song for the second half of the chapter is "Gravity" by Against the current**_

 _ **If you haven't already seen the review then I would like to inform you that ICanExplain is an unofficial beta and would like some more stories to beta for if anyone is interested and looking for a beta reader.**_

 _ **This may be a bit of a short chapter but it getsreally intense so it evens out (I think). I'm still trying to write longer chapters for you guys, but because of the way that I have planned the story, it's very easy to add in extra scenes in order to make each chapter longer. I hope you guys like it and please don't kill me (you'll understand once you've read it).**_

* * *

It's been a week since the fight and I haven't heard a word from Jace. I haven't even had a single message. He refuses to talk to me in class or even acknowledge my existence. Jon's tried to talk to me about it, but I refuse to talk to him. He may not know it, but everything that happened was his fault. I'm not exactly mad at him, but I still don't want to talk to him.

Ever since the fight I have just been existing. The only emotions I am capable of are sadness and anger, but even those just feel numb. Nothing feels real anymore, everything just passes by me in a blur. I have no motivation to dance anymore, because the thing I once loved, has now turned into a reminder of the person who caused me so much pain.

Despite having lost my passion for dancing, I still rehearse, otherwise all of my handwork will have gone to waste. But now, it's not something I enjoy, it's just something I do. I walked over to my bag and pulled out my phone and my speakers. I plugged in my phone and started playing "Between the devil & the deep blue sea" by XYLO.

As I danced to the contemporary choreography all of my emotions seemed to bubble to the surface. All of the anger, the sadness, the hate burst through me and into my dance moves. I couldn't help but think about the cause of these emotions and all of the questions I had when it came to how he acted, and how he had been acting since. It's like the boy I met online never existed in the first place, but I knew he was there, buried deep inside. Trapped, just like me.

I saw a flash of gold, but I just dismissed it, this wasn't the first time I had pictured him watching me while I danced. It was the only way that I could dance without letting my emotions control me, by picturing him watching me or playing the stunning melodies that I had learned to associate with him.

* * *

After having finished practice in the gym I realised I had forgotten some books in my locker that I need for homework. Walking the halls of the empty school I notice how it almost seems abandoned. It's so quiet after school when no one's there, you could literally hear a pin drop. The eerie atmosphere in the halls is causing the hairs of the back of my neck to stand up. I could feel my heart rate increasing rapidly.

As I reached my locker there was a loud noise from behind me. I jumped and spun around fast enough to have caused whip lash. Standing on the opposite side of the hallway was Sebastian. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's fine." I averted my gaze and hurriedly tried to open my locker. The thought of spending even a second longer with Sebastian than necessary scared me.

"Listen, I'm sorry about what happened at my party. How about I make it up to you?" Sebastian said as he inched towards me.

"No thanks. It's fine." I replied while stuffing the books I needed into my bag.

"I insist."

"Sebastian I said it was fine." He had made his way over to my side of the corridor and was now standing right next to me, blocking my way to the exit.

"Come on, there has to be something I can do to make it up to you."

"I have to go Sebastian." I made to move around him but he place his hands on each side of me, caging me against the lockers.

"Where are you off to in such a rush?"

"Let me go." I tried to move his arms but they were as hard as steel.

"Now why would I do that? Are you gonna make me?" He inched closer to me, pressing his body against mine into the lockers.

I was starting to panic, even with all of my strength he wouldn't move an inch. "Sebastian let me go"

He leaned his head closer to mine to whisper into my ear. "Make me"

My body had started to tremble with fear, he was twice the size of me, I had no chance against him. "HEL-" Before I could scream for help his hand suddenly covered my mouth and prevented my pleas for help.

"Shhh, there's no one around to hear you. It's just the two of us here. No one else is here to… interrupt us." Tears had started spilling out of my eyes and my body was shaking violently from the utter terror coursing through my veins. "We still have some unfinished business from the party if I remember correctly." Sebastian pushed his weight against me and forced me further into the lockers, I could feel a sharp pain in my back from being shoved against the wall.

I tried calling for help, but all you could hear were muffled sounds because of Sebastian's hand on my mouth. Sebastian moved the hand that was next to my head and clutched onto my hip. His grip was painfully tight and I could tell that it would leave a bruise.

I kept fighting against him, but he was too strong. I tried shaking my head in order to remove his hand from my mouth, but anything I tried to do seemed useless. My face was now covered in tears and my throat was roar from my muffled screams. The harder I tried to get away, the more Sebastian fought against me.

"You know, if you stop fighting this, you might actually enjoy yourself a little. Either way, there's nothing you can do to stop it. It's actually kind of cute what your doing." The menacing grin on his face turned the blood in my veins to ice. I tried pleading with my eyes, begging him to stop, to let me go, but he either didn't understand or he didn't care.

The pressure holding me up disappeared and before I knew what was happening I was falling to the floor. Someone was saying something, but all I could hear was the sound of my heart thumping against my chest and the ragged sobs escaping my mouth. After a moment I started to register the one word being repeated to me over and over again, "RUN!".

Using all of the strength I could muster I pushed myself off the ground ignoring the pain it caused. I blindly ran through the school, not caring where I was going as long as I could get away. My body was still trembling, making it difficult to run. Thoughts were racing through my head and I was trying to focus on ignoring the pain in my body long enough to get somewhere safe. Suddenly there was a sickening sound and the floor beneath my feet had disappeared.

* * *

 _ **So what did you think? Please don't kill me *runs and hides under the bed*. I can't promise that things will be looking up from here, but I h¡guess you'll just have to wait and see what happens. Tell me your opinions on the chapter, any theories you have or if you particularly hate/love the way any of the characters are acting. I wanna know! :D Love you guys -M**_


	13. Chapter 13

**_Song for chapter is "Save the hero" by Beyonce._**

 ** _The shout out is at the bottom for a reason that you'll understand once you read it._** ** _I have put up a poll on my bio concerning the updates for this story. Please take a minute to vote and tell me what you prefer. Thanks in advanced._**

 _ **I'm very sorry to say that I can't update for a while after this because I had dance practice yesterday and I will have it today and tomorrow as well. As well as this, on Sunday I'm gonna go to the beach with some friends so I won't have much time to write for a while. I'll try to do some writing in my free time, but I can't promise anything. Sorry for that bad news but to apologise here's the next chapter :) Enjoy.**_

* * *

I couldn't feel anything. It was strange, looking at the sky, staring at the clouds, not even caring where I was or what even happened. I don't know how long I was there for before I saw an angel. He had perfect golden skin with molten gold eyes to match and his hair looked as soft as the clouds above his head.

The angel was the image of perfection, except for his eyes. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. If that's true then the soul of the angel in front of me is filled with pain and worry. It makes me sad to think of something so perfect being so broken inside.

Unable to bear looking into his eyes any longer, my vision traveled down to his mouth. They were moving, forming words, but I couldn't hear what he was saying. I was too busy focusing on the sound of his voice. It was like music to my ears, rocking me to sleep.

I could feel myself rising, the angel's face was getting closer, allowing me to examine each detail. For the first time in a while I craved my sketchpad so that I could draw his beautiful features and capture them forever.

Unable to help myself I peered into his shimmering eyes. All the despair from earlier had impossibly intensified. It was physically painful to look at such sorrow. My eyes started to close, the weight of the world suddenly pushing them closed. Before they completely shut I saw the angels features morph and change to an expression pure heartache. My own heart tightened and I felt an incomprehensible need to help this archangel.

I whispered the first thing that I could think of, "Don't be sad" before my eyes sealed shut and I was surrounded by darkness.

* * *

There was a lot of darkness, occasionally a flash of white, but mostly darkness. It was the silence that disappeared first. Though the darkness was still there.

"What the hell happened?!" I knew that voice from somewhere, but I couldn't place it. It was definitely male, but that's all that I could tell. There was a pause before the voice spoke again.

"Verlac?! I'll kill him!" The voice seemed to be coming from a short distance away, they were obviously talking to someone but the other person was probably talking normally so I couldn't hear them.

"Then how did she get hurt this badly?" Where they talking about me? They couldn't be talking about me because I'm not hurt. At least I don't think I am, I can't feel any pain. So they can't be talking about me.

"She what?!" It was always the same voice talking. But I still couldn't figure out who it was because that was the last thing that I heard before the silence returned.

* * *

Once again the silence was interrupted, this time it was a different male voice speaking though.

"She's still asleep."

"The doctors said she should have woken up by now." said the voice from earlier. There was a pause, probably the first voice talking, but I couldn't hear anything from where I was.

"Calm down?! Do you remember what happened the last time you told me to calm down?!" I opened my eyes to see who was screaming only to be blinded by the bright light above me. I let out a small groan as I squinted my eyes to try and focus. All I could see was a white room around me before I heard someone speak again.

"Clare?! I'm right here, I won't let anything else happen to you. I'm so sorry I wasn't there Clary. I should have been there to protect you. I'm so sorry." It was Jon. He was clutching onto my hand like it was a lifeline, and there were small tear tracks on his face.

"Do you remember what happened Clary?" Jon asked me. I thought back to the last thing I could remember, but the only thing I could think of was seeing an angel which must have been a dream. I shook my head in response. In doing so, I could see that Jon wasn't the only one in my room, Jace was there as well. He must have been the other voice I heard.

"You were in school Clary, Sebastian attacked you. Jace heard someone scream and when he went to see who it was he found Sebastian pinning you to the wall. Jace pushed Sebastian off of you and told you to run. When he went looking for you afterwards he found you on the floor. We think you might have fallen down the stairs or something. Anyway, Jace brought you to the hospital and called me. The doctors said that your ankle's broken, but apart from that and a few scrapes and bruises your okay. Your ankles gonna take a few weeks to heal though Clare, which means you won't be able to dance for a while."

As Jon explained to me what happened I started to remember flashes. Sebastian's hands on me, trying to call for help, running away, falling and then an angel, my angel. With the memories came the tears and the pain. Not to mention the fear.

Jon seeing my tears started apologising again and again. Telling me that he should have been there to help, that I was safe, and that Sebastian would pay for what he did. Despite Jon's encouraging words I could still feel Sebastian's hands on me, I could still hear his voice as he taunted me, reminding me how powerless I was and I could still feel my body trembling as fear engulfed my entire being.

After a while Jon noticed that I hand't said a word since I woke up and he tried to talk to me, to get me to respond. But I wouldn't talk, I couldn't. It might have been the fear, or it might have been the shock. I don't know. All I know is that I can't talk, no matter how hard I try, I just can't.

* * *

 ** _Shout out to Rory..warne01 for being the first to guess exactly what was going to happen. PS: Am I predictable or something because a lot of people guessed correctly. Anyway tell me what you thought, I love hearing all of you feedback. Sorry that I won't be able to update very soon, but I'll try my best to make sure I update as soon as I can. Love you all -M_**


	14. Chapter 14

**_The song for first part of chapter is "Warrior" by Demi Lovato and the s_** ** _ong for second part of the chapter is "All of me - john legend (boyce avenue acoustic cover) on apple & spotify". You can find this version on youtube, it should be the first link that comes up._**

 ** _Shout out to oesteffel for their amazing review. Don't worry I will not be forgetting about this_** ** _fan fiction. Long story short, my friend that I was supposed to meet up with yesterday got ill so I spent the day writing the next few chapters. However, I have now reached a bit of a block and I have no idea what to do next so please leave reviews or message me with ideas for this story._** ** _Also, please don't forget to vote on my poll (it's on my bio) and tell me your opinion._**

 ** _Lastly, I used lyrics in a part of this story for a song that will come up in a later chapter. Can anyone guess what song it is? Leave your thoughts in a review. As always I love you guys and thank you for all of your support. :) -M_**

* * *

I was discharged from the hospital the next day, which I guess is today. A while after Jon stopped apologising I fell asleep. Jace and Jon stayed the night at the hospital to make sure that I was okay. Although I think it was more to make sure that if I talked someone would be there for me.

My ankle is in a cast that reaches just bellow my knee. Since I refused to use a wheelchair, the hospital insisted that I at least have some crutches. When I was finally discharged we all made our way to Jon's car, and by all I mean Jace, Jon and I. They keep trying to get me to talk by starting conversations with me, but the only response I can give them is a shake or nod of my head. I just feel like if I open my mouth to talk I'll break down.

I feel bad for not talking to them, for not explaining why I wasn't talking, or how I felt about everything that happened but I think I'll talk when I'm ready to talk, god only knows when I'll be ready though. I overheard Jon asking one of the doctors why I wasn't talking yesterday when I was at the hospital. They all thought I was asleep, but it was just easier for me to fake being asleep than to see their sad faces every time I opened my eyes.

Apparently the doctor said that I was perfectly fine and that my injuries had nothing to do with my lack of speech. He said that I would talk when I wanted to, and that there was nothing they could do to make me talk before then. Despite the doctor's reassurances Jon was still worried, of course he tried to hide this from me, but being his sister I could tell he was trying to keep it together for me.

Both Jon and Jace were treating me like I was a porcelain doll that could break if they were too rough with me. I wanted to tell them to stop treating me like that, I wanted to tell them that I was fine, but I couldn't. Not only because I couldn't talk but also because I don't think I could tell them something that isn't true.

As we pulled up to our house my mind started reeling with a different set of questions. Why was Jace here? Were he and Jon still friends? Wasn't Jon still mad at Jace? I guess he did kind of save me and I should be grateful, but that doesn't forgive what he did to me. He promised me he would be there for me and he promised that he would never lie, yet he broke both of his promises for no reason.

When the car pulled to a stop I grabbed my crutches and made my way out of the car. While doing so, Jace appeared out of nowhere and tried to help me by placing his hand on my back for support. Even if his touch did send an electric shock through my entire body, I wasn't going to forgive him that easily. I snapped my head in his direction and glared at him until he let go of my back.

With Jon's help I made it to my room where I proceeded to sit on the ledge of my window and stare into space. I don't know how long I stayed like that, just staring into space. Occasionally Jace or Jon would come into my room and ask if I needed anything, but I wouldn't respond. At least with Jon I turned my head to look at him and shake my head, but with Jace I just kept staring out of my window.

After a while the sun started to set and the moon began to rise, but I still didn't move. A little while later Jon came into my room with a tray of food, "You need to eat something Clary, you haven't eaten all day." Not really hungry I just shook my head at him. He placed the food down on my desk and came to sit next to me. "Please talk to me Clare. I can't help if I don't know what's wrong." I didn't respond.

"If you won't talk to me, at least talk to Jace." At the mention of his name my head shot up. Why was Jon suddenly so friendly with Jace? Jon heard what he had said to me, he was right there when it happened. "Don't give me that look Clary. I know what he did, but there is a reason behind it. Just let him explain." With that he got up and walked to wards the door. Before he left he turned around, "And eat something, otherwise I'll lock you in a room with Jace until you talk to him and solve whatever problems you have going on." He left before I had the chance to even process what he had said and glare at him for it.

Needing to express myself in some form, I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and started writing how I felt. I know it sounds really cheesy, but it actually did help me a lot. Before I knew it I had used the pen to scribble several lines on the paper.

 _And who is this monster wearing my skin?_

 _…_

 _Cause every time I scream no one hears me_

 _…_

 _It feels like I'm paralyzed_

* * *

By the time I finished writing it was about midnight. Per Jon's request I had finished the food that he gave me, except now I was really thirsty. Not wanting to bother Jon anymore I decided to go downstairs by myself and grab a glass of water from the kitchen.

As I was making my way down the stairs a faint sound was coming from the living room. My curiosity got the better of me and I was now walking towards the living room instead of the kitchen, my glass of water forgotten.

Having loud crutches made it impossible to sneak up on anyone, so as I made it to the living room the music stopped and the golden head that was once bowed over a guitar looked up at me.

"Clary." One word from his lips and I was already willing to forgive him, but I had to stay strong. Focus Clary, focus.

"Still not talking huh?" My silence was enough of an answer for him. "Do you remember when you told me how you would listen to a song that you thought matched how you felt?" He looked at me with pleading eyes and Jon's words from earlier echoes in my head.

 _Give him a chance._

I reluctantly nodded my head. "Can I play you a song? I promise that if you still want me to leave you alone afterwards I will, just say the word." It was hard not to laugh at the irony of what he just said, I could tell that he did it on purpose judging from the smirk on his mouth. Deciding to give him a chance I went and sat next to him. He smiled at me, then turned his attention to his guitar where he began strumming a few chords before he started to sing.

 _ **What would I do without your smart mouth?**_

 _ **Drawing me in, and you kicking me out**_

 _ **You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down**_

 _ **What's going on in that beautiful mind**_

 _ **I'm on your magical mystery ride**_

 _ **And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **My head's under water**_

 _ **But I'm breathing fine**_

 _ **You're crazy and I'm out of my mind**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **'Cause all of me**_

 _ **Loves all of you**_

 _ **Love your curves and all your edges**_

 _ **All your perfect imperfections**_

 _ **Give your all to me**_

 _ **I'll give my all to you**_

 _ **You're my end and my beginning**_

 _ **Even when I lose I'm winning**_

 _ **'Cause I give you all of me**_

 _ **And you give me all of you, oh oh**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **How many times do I have to tell you**_

 _ **Even when you're crying you're beautiful too**_

 _ **The world is beating you down, I'm around through every mood**_

 _ **You're my downfall, you're my muse**_

 _ **My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues**_

 _ **I can't stop singing, it's ringing, in my head for you**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **My head's under water**_

 _ **But I'm breathing fine**_

 _ **You're crazy and I'm out of my mind**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **'Cause all of me**_

 _ **Loves all of you**_

 _ **Love your curves and all your edges**_

 _ **All your perfect imperfections**_

 _ **Give your all to me**_

 _ **I'll give my all to you**_

 _ **You're my end and my beginning**_

 _ **Even when I lose I'm winning**_

 _ **'Cause I give you all of me**_

 _ **And you give me all of you**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **Give me all of you**_

 _ **Cards on the table, we're both showing hearts**_

 _ **Risking it all, though it's hard**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **'Cause all of me**_

 _ **Loves all of you**_

 _ **Love your curves and all your edges**_

 _ **All your perfect imperfections**_

 _ **Give your all to me**_

 _ **I'll give my all to you**_

 _ **You're my end and my beginning**_

 _ **Even when I lose I'm winning**_

 _ **'Cause I give you all of me**_

 _ **And you give me all of you**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **And I give you all of me**_

 _ **And you give me all of you, oh oh**_

Even when he finished the song his head stayed down, his gaze never moving from his a few minutes he whispered to me, "I don't deserve you Clary. You could do so much better than me."

"What about what I deserve?" He snapped his head up to look at me at the sound of my voice. His eyes were filled with surprise before sadness eventually took over.

"You deserve better than me. I'll only hurt you." He bowed his head in shame. I reached out to him and placed my hand on his cheek, moving it so that he was looking at me. All of the sadness in his eyes made my heart break.

"The only way you could hurt me is if you left." I hoped that he could hear the honesty in my voice, see the plea in my eyes and understand what I was trying to say. The thought of him leaving made me lean closer to him until our lips were centimetres apart. My hand still on his cheek and his hot breath against my face. It was so overwhelming, all of my senses were on overdrive. "Please" It came out as a whisper, but we were so close that there is no doubt in my mind that he heard me. Our gazes locked together and he closed the small space between us, successfully crashing our lips together in a lustful kiss.


	15. Chapter 15

_**Shout out to shadowangel22 for their lovely review.**_

 _ **Song for the first part of the chapter is "Flashlight" by Jessie J**_

 _ **This chapter is a little longer, your welcome. I am glad to report that I now have a plan for what I'm going to write about until the end of the story, but unfortunately it still has a few gaps left that I need to sort out. I'm really excited to show you chapters 16 & 17 because they were really fun to write and I had been dying to write them for ages. Though this chapter was also pretty fun and gets pretty exciting. Tell me what you think in the **_**_reviews. Hugs and kisses -M_**

* * *

"Why?" I asked, I know I was being vague, but there were so many things that I needed to ask, I wasn't sure what to ask first.

"Why what?" Jace looked at me expectantly before he continued. "Why did I leave?" I nodded my head for him to continue.

"I don't deserve you Clary."

"We've been over this…"

"You don't understand. You're pure and kind and beautiful, and I'm not. Everything Jonathan said is true. I don't deserve you because I'm no good, I'm trouble and I'll just break your heart. God knows I break everything else I touch."

"You were trying to protect me?" Jace nods his head at the statement. "That makes no sense."

"It did at the time, it still does." While he says this he lowers his head and gazes at the floor, suddenly becoming fascinated with the carpet.

"Are you kidding me?! You can't leave again! You say you're going to hurt me, yet all you have done since we met is protect me. You've helped me in more ways than I can count. The only time you have hurt me is when you disappeared and left me alone." A sudden realisation struck me then, "Your my guardian angel." I whisper.

"What?" Jace looks up at me with a look of confusion plastering his face.

"It wasn't a dream." All of the puzzle pieces seemed to be fitting together in my head, I finally understand.

"What are you talking about?"

"Before I blacked out I saw an angel. At least, that's what I thought I saw. It was you. Your the angel that I saw. Your my guardian angel. You saved me."

"Many have said that my looks are that of an angel." He mocked.

"I'm being serious."

"So am I." He said with mock hurt. There was a moment of silence, It wasn't awkward, but a comfortable sort of silence. "I have to tell you something. The reason that I was there after school, the reason I heard you... It was because I was watching you dance. I shouldn't have been, I know I shouldn't have, but ever since I walked away from you I have been trying to forget you Clary, trying to leave you alone. But I couldn't, I was too weak to leave you alone, so I started to watch you dance after school. I guess it was my way of staying with you without hurting you. It was my cowardly way of keeping our connection."

"Did you tell Jon why you left? Is that why he hasn't ripped your head off?"

A small chuckle escaped his mouth. "Yes, that, and the fact that I did kind of save you."

"Thank you." At the mention of that, a sudden question appeared in my head. I tried to push it away, I didn't want to ruin the moment.

"What's wrong?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Because when something is bothering you you wrinkle your nose in the cutest way."

I could feel a small blush appearing on my face. "What… when… umm…" I took a deep breath and calmed myself before I continued so that I wouldn't stutter anymore. "When you found Sebastian and I in the hall, and you told me to run, what happened between you and Sebastian?"

"Well, we were fighting. Then we heard a loud noise, I think it was when you fell down the stairs. I turned around to see what it was and when I looked back, Sebastian was gone. So I went looking for you and found you on the floor at the bottom of the stairs. I'm sorry Clary."

I raised my hand to cup his cheek. When our skin made contact, our eyes met and locked together. "Don't be sorry, don't be sad. Be mine." He leaned forward so that our faces were as close as possible without touching.

"I'm already yours. I was yours before we met at the party, I was yours before I saw you dancing in the gym, I was yours since the first time we ever talked. You had me at 'Hey'. I'm yours Clary. Everything that I am belongs to you. You made me come back to life when I was drowning, your my angel and I'll do everything I can to deserve you until the day you realise you don't want me anymore. Even then, I'll do everything in my power to make you happy, even if that happiness doesn't include me."

"That's never going to happen, because without you, I don't know what happiness is."

* * *

The luxury of the weekend is over and today I have to face school. The only advantage being that since Jace and Jon are refusing to give me even a second of peace by myself they have to carry my stuff because I'm still on crutches. Apart from that, I'm dreading everything else about school.

Since what happened at school was on Friday, I had the weekend to recover, but now it's Monday and I have to face all of the gawking eyes and the hurtful rumours that will spread as soon as I enter the building.

If I wasn't anxious enough, I now have the school's two most popular guys as my bodyguards. I'm surprised that I haven't exploded yet from all of these nerves welling up inside of me. Something is bound to go wrong today and I might probably be the first person on earth to actually die from embarrassment. It shall read on my tombstone 'Here lies Clarissa Fray. Daughter, sister and friend. She shall go down in history as first girl to ever die from embarrassment and shame." Why am I having such morbid thoughts? It can't be that bad, right?

But just as I predicted, as soon as I entered the school, the hallways went deadly silent, and all you could hear was the clattering of my crutches against the hard floor. Whispers slowly started to make their way around the hall, the noise escalating until I could make out a few words such as 'doesn't belong', 'freak' and 'pity'.

I couldn't get to my locker fast enough. I tried to ignore them, to tell myself that they were just being harsh and that nothing they said was true, but the words that made it through my protective barrier seemed to be bouncing around in my head like a haunting echo.

"Clary!" I turned my head to see Jace trying to get my attention.

"Yh?"

"I've only been trying to call you for the past few minutes."

"Sorry."

"It's fine, anyway, I was jut saying that you shouldn't listen to what anyone here says. They're just making things up to make themselves feel better by making others feel worse."

Jon, who had been silently listening to our small conversation then decided to join in. "He's right you know."

"I know." I replied. "Wait a second. Jon, don't you have a class on the opposite side of the school. You're not gonna have enough time to go to your locker before class. Why must you insist on being my body guard in the middle of school when I'm perfectly safe? It's like your trying to embarrass me."

"Now why would I do that?" he replied. It only took a second before his serious act shattered and he was in hysterics. What did I ever do to deserve a brother who's only goal in life is to embarrass me?

* * *

By the time school finished I had gotten used to all of the whispers and stares and learnt to ignore them so they didn't bother me. Throughout the day my mood slowly improved until the final bell rang and I knew it was time for me and Jace to rehearse together. Neither him nor Jon were in my final class today, so I decided to surprise Jace at his locker since it was closer to my class than his and I would probably get there at the same time as him since I was on crutches.

Funnily enough, Jace and Jon's lockers were almost right next to each other, so I wasn't surprised to find that Jon was with Jace as they talked by their lockers. With them were three other people, two girls and one boy. One of the girls was tall and had long dark hair as well as dark brown eyes. She was dresses like a model and wore heels that could fatally injure someone if they were ever used as a weapon. The other girl had dark straight hair to her shoulders and was extremely pretty, while the boy was tall but scrawny. He had a pair of glasses perched on his face at a crooked angle and wore a t-shirt with a weird logo on it.

"Hey strangers." I greeted. Everyone turned around to the sound of my voice. Jon suddenly caught my attention as all of the colour of his face disappeared and he looked like he had just seen a ghost. "I know I don't look amazing right now Jon, but you could at least stop looking at me as though I have come back from the after life." A few chuckles erupted from the group and Jon proceeded to glare at everyone responsible.

"What are you doing here?"

"What a lovely way to greet your sister Jonathan. I'll remember that for next time."

"I-" Jon's response was cut off by one of the girls standing next to him.

"SISTER! I knew I recognised your voice! Clary right? I'm Aline." Realisation struck me and Jon's weird behaviour now suddenly made sense.

"So that's why you don't want me here Jon. It's because you don't want your girlfriend to meet your sister, who, I quote 'will embarrass you.'"

"Well, I- Wait a minute! Why did Aline say she recognised your voice?"

"BUSTED! I guess I might as well confess now. You know the other day when you lost your phone for about 5 minutes? That may have been my fault. It was just after you left the kitchen when Aline called and we had a nice little chat before you came back into the kitchen. Didn't we Aline?"

"Oh yes. A very nice chat indeed." At this point everyone turned to Jonathan to see his reaction.

"You'll pay for that Clary. It may be today, or it may be tomorrow. You'll never know until it happens, but I swear to you now that I _WILL_ get my revenge." Jonathan mocked.

"I'm so scared. I'm quacking in my boots." I replied sarcastically. An arm wrapped around my waist, I looked up to find Jace's golden eyes staring back at me.

"Don't worry. It's my job as boyfriend to protect you."

"Dude, I'm one of your best friends." Replied Jon. At this the whole group burst into laughter at Jon's look of betrayal.

"Anywayyyy, Clary, I want you to meet my stepsister Isabel Lightwood and her boyfriend rat face." Jace said as he indicated the two people in the group who I was yet to meet.

"Jace! His name's Simon. How many times have I told you not to call him rat face!"

"About as many times as I've said that it's my job as your older brother to tease your boyfriends."

"Alec's my older brother as well and he never teases my boyfriends".

"That's why I have to tease twice as much, to make up for Alec's laziness."

I looked around to see that everyone else seems to be just as amused as me. "Sibling banter, it's kind of nice to hear it for once instead of be a part of it. Don't you think Clary?" Jon asked.

"Definitely. I kind of feel sorry for anyone that has had to put up with us over the years."

"Me too." he replied. We laughed at that and for the first time in a long time I felt genuinely happy. Sadly, that feeling quickly went away when I looked at Jon and saw his face morph from happy to a look of pure hatred. Everyone else seemed to notice as well and the laughter soon died down. Before I could ask what was wrong Jon stormed past me, then suddenly Jace removed his arm from around me and followed Jon, the same look upon his face.

I looked in the direction that they were both heading in and finally caught on. There standing in the hallway chatting up some girls was my worst nightmare, Sebastian. Before I knew it Jon and Jace had reached him.

"I'm gonna kill you!" Jon shouted as he lunged at Sebastian. "You son of a bitch!" In the blink of an eye a small circle had formed around Jace, Jon and Sebastian as they fought and shouted curses at each other. The blood in my veins had turned to ice as I watched in horror. I was frozen to the spot, watching as my brother and boyfriend became bloody and bruised fighting Sebastian. They were all evenly matched, but Sebastian was fast. If it was him against either Jace or Jon alone he would have stood a chance, but against the both of them he only managed to get in a few good punches.

After a while a few guys I didn't know managed to separate the boys by restraining them, though it took at least two guys to restrain each of them. Though that didn't stop their efforts. "Let go of me you idiots!" Jace shouted.

"Stop!" At the sound of my voice everyone turned to look at me. "Please" I whispered loud enough for Jace and Jon to hear me. Jace broke away from the people restraining him and rushed towards me. I didn't realise that I was crying until Jace enveloped me in a bone crushing hug and my tears caused a small stain to appear on his t-shirt.

By the time Jace released me from his embrace the crowd that had formed to witness the fight had disappeared, along with Sebastian. Jonathan had been released and was making his way over to us. As soon as he reached me he hugged me as well. "You okay baby sis?"

"Yeah." He let go and I finally had a chance to examine him and Jace. "You're both idiots! What possessed you to do that? You could have been seriously hurt!"

"Call it a brotherly instinct."

"I'm being serious Jon!"

"Clary, I know you're upset, but he can't get away with what he did!"

"Sorry to interrupt, but what exactly did he do that warrants both of you going over there and punching the life out of him?" questioned Aline. No one spoke for a moment.

"He tried to rape Clary." said Jon. "After school on Friday he attacked her by her locker and tried to rape her." I looked around to see a mixture of looks between shock, pity and rage.

Surprisingly Simon was the one to break the silence, "I'm glad that you didn't get to kill him a second ago, because now I get to help when you do."

"Simon!" Isabel screeched.

"Did you not hear what Jon just said. He attacked her!" replied Simon.

"Calm down Isabel. Rat boy's too scrawny to be able to do any real damage anyway." Jace said, trying to lighten the mood, but when he smirked his cracked lip split a bit more and began to bleed again. Before I realised what I was doing, my hand had already lifted and I was wiping away the blood. At this gesture his smile grew into a grin, extending the wound.

"Your such an idiot." I told him.

"Don't pretend you don't like it." My face heated from his words and I could feel a blush starting to appear.

* * *

 ** _Please don't forget to review and vote on my poll on my profile. It is much appreciated. Until the next chapter -M_**


	16. Chapter 16

_**Shout out to slytherinshadowhunter67, I'm really glad that you're enjoying the story. Thank you so much for taking the time to review and tell me.**_

 _ **On another note there was a review by huda1220 that asked if the friend that Clary used to have that left her to spend more time with their girlfriend was Simon. At the beginning I was planning for it to be Simon but now I don't think it's something that he would do so it's just some random friend that Clary used to have.**_

 _ **The first song is Just A Dream (Nelly cover by Sam Tsui & Christina Grimmie). This version is great, make sure to have a listen, you won't regret it. The s**_ _ **econd song is Best Love Song by T-Pain ft. Chris Brown.**_

 _ **I checked the books and realised that I have been spelling Isabelle as Isabel, sorry. I promise that from now on it will be spelt right. My reason for spelling it wrong is that I have a friend called Isabel so I keep forgetting that it's spelled differently to how it is in the books.**_

 ** _Lastly I wanted to say a massive sorry for not updating for a while, at first I was busy and then I got writers block, but last night I was watching some tv and suddenly got inspired so hopefully I will be able to update a bit more often now. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me, I love you all. -M_**

* * *

Two weeks passed since the fight, it took some convincing, but I managed to get Jace and Jon to agree to not attack Sebastian whenever they see him. Luckily our school is very big so there aren't many opportunities for Sebastian to pass us in the halls. My cast was taken off and I no longer have to use crutches, but I still have a bandage and I'm not allowed to dance for another two weeks until my ankle has fully healed.

Our little group sits together at lunch almost every day and Isabelle, Aline and I have become really close friends. Aline even introduced us to a couple called Maia and Jordan. They are currently going out and apparently have been since they were in kinder garden. After a while Maia even started to join Isabelle, Aline and I whenever we hung out together.

Kaelie's stopped coming up to me and bullying me in person because I'm always either with Jace or Jon, but whenever I go to my locker I seem to find a new note from her and her minions. Both Jon and Jace are oblivious to this and I want to keep it that way because they have enough to deal with as it is, plus it's my burden to bear, not theirs.

I wasn't going to let it bother me though, especially since tonight is the school concert. Isabelle insisted that she help pick out my outfit so instead of going in a pair of skinny jeans and t-shirt, now I'm going in a mint green, strapless, high low dress with a lace bodice and chiffon skirt. When it came to shoes Isabelle and I had to come to a compromise because I am refusing to wear heels, so instead I am being forced to ditch my converse and wear a pear of ankle gladiator sandals instead.

I can't be bothered to really make an effort with my make-up after having to straighten my hair to I just decide to add a little bit of brown eye shadow, some black eyeliner and some mascara. By the time I'm finished it's time to go and Jon is already at the door. We make our way out to Jace's car where he is waiting patiently since he volunteered to drive Jon and I to the concert.

* * *

Jace and I are waiting back stage since we will be one of the first performances. We didn't really get a chance to look around before we were headed back stage, but from what I saw, the place looks really good. The concert is being held in the school courtyard, but everyone is invited. There are drink and snack tables around the edges of the courtyard, and the stage is towards the back, I was quite surprised to see that everything looked very professional. There are also a lot of fairy lights that have been spread around the courtyard to illuminate the place without blinding anyone. Everything looks amazing.

"Calm down Clary. your pacing is making me nervous." Jace said from his seat.

"Sorry." I replied.

"I was just joking. Pace all you like, maybe you can get rid of some of this nervous energy that you have. On second thought I have another way that you can relinquish some of that energy." he said while wiggling his eyebrows at me in a suggestive manner. I responded by softly whacking his arm. "Ow!"

"Don't be such a baby."

"I am not a baby! I am a manly man!"

Before I could respond, someone else beat me to it. "Sure you are Jace. Because It's perfectly normal for manly men to scream like a girl when they see a duck."

"I did not scream like a girl Alec!"

"I beg to differ" said a different voice

"You weren't even there!"

"Sadly not, but Alexander was, and if he says that you screamed like a girl then I believe him."

"It's not a shocker that you would believe him over me Magnus, he is your boyfriend after all."

"Speaking of partners, I'm assuming that one's yours?" The man named Magnus said while he pointed at me.

"Yeah, this is Clary. Clary, This is Alec my stepbrother and Magnus, his boyfriend."

"It's nice to meet you." I said as I shook their hands.

"Likewise" responded Magnus. "Clary tell me, what do you see in this bafoon? Other than his obvious good looks."

"Ignore him." said Alec. "He tends to get a bit crazy at parties."

"I do not!"

"Yes you do!" Chimed Alec and Jace in unison, causing the four of us to burst into a fit of laughter.

"GIVE IT UP FOR JACE AND CLARY!"

"Good luck guys." said Alec as he and Magnus made their way over to the audience to watch.

"We don't need it!" replied Jace before he turned to me and gave me a reassuring smile. "You ready?"

"I would say no, but I have a feeling you would pick me up and drag me on stage kicking and screaming anyway."

"You know me so well. Now lets go."

And before I knew it we were on stage. Jace was pulling towards the white grand piano that was ready for us. We sat down on the bench together as everyone quietened down to hear us.

"You'll do great." Jace said.

"How do you know?"

"Because I'll be here the whole time." he replied before he started to play.

 **(-Clary +Jace *Both)**

 _ **+I was thinking 'bout you, thinking 'bout me**_

 _ **+Thinking 'bout us, what we gon' be**_

 _ **+Open my eyes yeah, *it was only just a dream**_

 _ **-So I travelled back down that road**_

 _ **-Will you come back? No one knows**_

 _ **-I realize, it was only just a dream**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **+I was at the top and now it's like I'm in the basement**_

 _ **+Number one spot and now she find her a replacement**_

 _ **+I swear now I can't take it, knowing somebody's got my baby**_

 _ **+And now you ain't around baby I can't think**_

 _ **+I should've put it down, should've got the ring**_

 _ **+Cause I can still feel it in the air**_

 _ **+See her pretty face, run my fingers through her hair**_

 _ **+My lover, my life, my baby, my wife**_

 _ **+You left me, I'm tied**_

 _ **+Cause I knew that it just ain't right**_

 _ **—**_

 _ ***I was thinking 'bout you, thinking 'bout me**_

 _ ***Thinking 'bout us, what we gon' be**_

 _ ***Open my eyes, it was only just a dream**_

 _ ***So I travelled back down that road**_

 _ ***Will you come back? No one knows**_

 _ ***I realise, it was only just a dream**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **-When I be ridin', I swear I see your face at every turn**_

 _ **-Tryna get my Usher on but can't let it burn**_

 _ **-And I just hope she know that she the only one I yearn for**_

 _ **-More and more I miss her. When will I learn?**_

 _ **-Didn't give her all my love, I guess now I got my payback**_

 _ **-Now I'm in the club thinking all about my baby**_

 _ **-Hey, you was so easy to love**_

 _ **-But wait, I guess that love wasn't enough**_

 _ **-I'm going through it every time that I'm alone**_

 _ **-And now I'm missing, wishing you'd pick up the phone**_

 _ **-But you made the decision that she wanted to move on**_

 _ **-Cause I was wrong**_

 _ **—**_

 _ ***I was thinking 'bout you, thinking 'bout me**_

 _ ***Thinking 'bout us, what we gon' be**_

 _ ***Open my eyes, it was only just a dream**_

 _ ***So I travelled back down that road**_

 _ ***Will you come back? No one knows**_

 _ ***I realise, it was only just a dream**_

 _ **—**_

 _ ***If you ever loved somebody put your hands up**_

 _ ***If you ever loved somebody put your hands up**_

 _ ***And now they're gone and you're wishing you could give them everything**_

 _ ***Said if you ever loved somebody put your hands up**_

 _ ***If you ever loved somebody put your hands up**_

 _ ***Now they're gone and you're wishing you could give them everything**_

 _ **—**_

 _ ***I was thinking 'bout you, thinking 'bout me**_

 _ ***Thinking 'bout us, what we gon' be**_

 _ ***Open my eyes, it was only just a dream**_

 _ ***So I travelled back down that road**_

 _ ***Will you come back? No one knows**_

 _ ***I realise, it was only just a dream**_

 _ **—**_

 _ ***I was thinking 'bout you, thinking 'bout me**_

 _ ***Thinking 'bout us, what we gon' be**_

 _ ***Open my eyes, it was only just a dream**_

 _ ***So I travelled back down that road**_

 _ ***Will you come back? No one knows**_

 _ ***I realise, it was only just a dream**_

When it was over I turn to Jace hug him, unable to help myself. After a moment of shock he returns the hug before we are ushered off stage for the next performance. I make it to the audience and find Isabelle, Aline and Maia all waving me towards them.

"Clary that was amazing!" said Aline.

"Yh, you guys rocked!" responded Isabelle.

"Definitely!" shouted Maia.

"Thanks guys! Where's everyone else?"

"Simon and Jordan went to get us some drinks, Magnus dragged Alec away somewhere and Jon just disappeared somewhere. Where's Jace, didn't he come with you?" I turned around to fund that Jace had disappeared from my side and I had no clue where he was.

"I don't know, I thought he was right next to me, though I should have known he wasn't there because it was too quiet."

"ALRIGHT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! IT'S TIME FOR OUR NEXT PERFORMERS! THESE GUYS HAVE ASKED ME TO SAY THAT THIS SONG IS DEDICATED TO THEIR GIRLFRIENDS. YOU TWO ARE SOME VERY LUCKY LADIES!"

"I wonder who he's talking about" inquired Maia.

"I have no idea" I responded before the music started, though there was no one on stage.

The crowd parts and Jon is heading towards with a mic in hand as he sings.

 _ **+Turn up the bass, turn up the treble,**_

 _ **+I'm about to take it to a whole another level!**_

 _ **+DJ turn off what you're playin',**_

 _ **+I want the whole club to hear what I'm sayin'!**_

Another voice starts to sing and the crowd parts once again from the other direction and I see Jace approaching me with a mic in his hand as well.

 _ **-Because this girl means so much to me,**_

 _ **-And now we're on the floor and she touchin' me.**_

 _ **-And if I wanna take her home**_

 _ **-It's gotta be better than what they do on the radio!**_

 _ **—**_

 _ ***It's gotta be the crunkest**_

 _ ***It's gotta be the loudest**_

 _ ***It's gotta be the best (the best) love song she ever heard in her life**_

 _ ***I gotta tell her how I feel**_

 _ ***I gotta let her hear, the best love song she ever heard in her life**_

 _ ***No need for me to write it, I just gotta picture her smilin,**_

Both Jace and Jon stop walking towards us and turn around to face the crowd while they sing for a bit before turning back to face us.

 _ ***And if you feel that way**_

 _ ***Go 'head and kiss your baby**_

 _ ***And now we've got the whole stadium in love like eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **-Turn up the lights, give me a mic**_

 _ **-I'm bout' to sing it to her just how she likes**_

 _ **-Jump off the stage bombs away,**_

 _ **-Crowd surfin' all the way (cowabunga)**_

 _ **+You know it's right, just do the wave**_

 _ **+Girl just move your body like a snake**_

 _ **+And if you wanna get with me**_

 _ **+Put your hands in the air, show me that energy**_

 _ **—**_

 _ ***It's gotta be the crunkest**_

 _ ***It's gotta be the loudest**_

 _ ***It's gotta be the best (the best) love song she ever heard in her life**_

 _ ***I gotta tell her how I feel**_

 _ ***I gotta let her hear, the best love song she ever heard in her life**_

 _ ***No need for me to write it, I just gotta picture her smilin,**_

 _ ***And if you feel that way**_

 _ ***Go 'head and kiss your baby**_

 _ ***And now we've got the whole stadium in love like eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh**_

By now they've reached us and Jace is singing to me while Jon is singing to Aline.

 _ **+Homie kiss your girl**_

 _ **-Shawty kiss your man**_

 _ **+We can see you on the kissing cam**_

 _ **-Now show me some love (yeah yeah)**_

 _ **-Show me some love (yeah yeah)**_

 _ **+Now look her in the eye, -say baby I love you**_

 _ **+I never put no one above you**_

 _ **-And if you feel that way**_

 _ **-Go ahead and kiss your baby**_

 _ ***And now we've got the whole stadium in love like eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh**_

 _ **+And if you feel that way**_

 _ **-Go ahead and kiss your baby**_

 _ **+And now we've got the whole stadium in love like**_

 _ ***Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh**_

 _ ***Oh, oh, oh**_

When the song finished the crowd erupted into cheers but I wasn't playing any attention to that, all I could see was Jace in front of me. I tackled him in a hug and he stumbled a bit before regaining his balance and hugging me back. We separated just enough to look at each other before he leaned in a kissed me. When we finally had to stop for air, I looked over and saw that Jon and Aline were in a very similar position to us, while everyone else was clapping and cheering. I had a massive smile on my face and I couldn't think of a moment when I had been more happy than this in my entire life.


	17. Chapter 17

_**Shout out to skycarstairs, your review made my day. I also want to give a shoutout to tifnguyen104 for guessing the correct song which is**_ _ **Paralysed by Against The Current. The second song used in this chapter is**_ _ **Christina Grimmie & Mike Tompkins - Fall Out Boy & Alicia Keys (it should come up on youtube). I highly advise that you listen to both them.**_

 ** _If anyone is interested in betaing this story please send me a PM as I am only human and make mistakes. I would really appreciate the help :)_**

 ** _A MASSIVE thank you to everyone who keeps reviewing, favouriting and/or following this story. I know I keep saying it but I really love you guys. Keep it up, we've reached over 200 reviews. Yey! Here is another wonderful chapter as a reward. -M_**

* * *

"So, did you like my little surprise?" Jace said. He and I were wrapped up in each other's arms enjoying other people's performances.

"I loved it."

"Enough to give me a little surprise of my own?"

"Definitely" I couldn't help but laugh at the look of shock on Jace's face. He wasn't expecting that kind of answer at all. "In fact, I think it's almost time for the surprise. Any minute now."

"Wh-"

"PLEASE WELCOME CLARY BACK TO THE STAGE"

"That's me!" Before he could reply I slipped out of his arms and rushed towards the stage. I walked up to the mic that was now on a stand in the middle of the stage. "This is a song I wrote myself, I hope you like it." When I looked at Jace I saw that he was now standing by our group of friends with a big smile on his face.

 _ **Have you had a million reasons why you wish you'd never seen the truth?**_

 _ **Have you looked into the mirror and the problem's staring back at you**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **I can't control myself, don't know who I've been**_

 _ **And who is this monster wearing my skin?**_

 _ **A movie in black and white. When will it end?**_

 _ **'Cause every time I scream no one hears me**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **It feels like I'm paralyzed,**_

 _ **and I can't**_

 _ **escape from the prison I'm**_

 _ **living in.**_

 _ **I'm naming the voices in my head**_

 _ **They keep on telling me to give in**_

 _ **But it's making me stronger**_

 _ **Fight a little longer**_

 _ **I'm gonna bring me back to life**_

 _ **And I won't be paralyzed**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **Have you searched for something deeper out of fear that life's a lonely road?**_

 _ **Have you roamed the darkest corners of the earth until you're just a ghost?**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **I can't control myself, don't know who I've been**_

 _ **And who is this monster wearing my skin?**_

 _ **A movie in black and white. When will it end?**_

 _ **'Cause every time I scream no one hears me**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **It feels like I'm paralyzed,**_

 _ **and I can't**_

 _ **escape from the prison I'm**_

 _ **living in.**_

 _ **I'm naming the voices in my head**_

 _ **They keep on telling me to give in**_

 _ **But it's making me stronger**_

 _ **Fight a little longer**_

 _ **I'm gonna bring me back to life**_

 _ **And I won't be paralyzed**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **I'm not afraid, I can face my demons**_

 _ **Even if they tear me down**_

 _ **If I fall, let me fall, it might take time**_

 _ **But I'll find my own way out**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **It feels like I'm paralyzed,**_

 _ **and I can't**_

 _ **escape from the prison I'm**_

 _ **living in.**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **It feels like I'm paralyzed,**_

 _ **and I can't**_

 _ **escape from the prison I'm**_

 _ **living in.**_

 _ **I'm naming the voices in my head**_

 _ **They keep on telling me to give in**_

 _ **But it's making me stronger**_

 _ **Fight a little longer**_

 _ **I'm gonna bring me back to life**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **It feels like I'm paralyzed**_

 _ **feels like I'm paralyzed**_

 _ **feels like I'm paralyzed**_

 _ **feels like I'm paralyzed**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **But it's making me stronger**_

 _ **Fight a little longer**_

 _ **I'm gonna bring me back to life**_

 _ **And I won't be paralyzed**_

I looked over to my group of friends to see that they were all clapping and cheering as hard as they could and amongst them were Jace and Jon who seemed to be making the most noise out of everyone. I left the stage and made my way over to them all.

"That was brilliant Clary! You really wrote that?" asked Isabelle.

"Yeah I did."

"When did you write that? It was fantastic darling!" joined Magnus.

"It was the day after Sebastian attacked me, when I wasn't talking to anyone. I guess I just needed to let all of my feelings out somewhere." I could feel a pair of arms snake around my body from behind me.

"You're incredible." Jace whispered in my ear.

"Did you like your surprise?" I asked.

"I loved it." he replied.

"Good, but there's one more surprise left."

"Oh really?" I turned my head to look at him and saw that he was waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Get your head out of the gutter. It's nothing like that."

"Then what is it?"

"It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you, now would it. You're just going to have to wait a few minutes."

"Why a few minutes?"

"Because I want to enjoy this song and I'm not gonna tell you until it's finished." I chided.

"I bet I can make you tell me."

"And how are you gonna do that?"

"Like this." he replied before kissing me. It was a long and luxurious kiss and made my knees weaken. It's a good thing he still had a hold on me as I probably would have fallen flat on my face otherwise. Too soon the kiss was over, but when I went to reinitiate it Jace pulled away from me just far enough so that our lips couldn't meet.

"What's my surprise?"

"Your horrible, but I'm still not gonna tell you."

"Why not?" he moaned.

"Jeez, you sound like a little kid. Suck it up, I thought you were a manly man."

"Did you not hear the embarrassing story disproving that theory?"

"Yes, about that-"

"THANK YOU. NOW IT'S TIME FOR ONE OF THE LAST PERFORMANCES OF THE NIGHT. PLEASE WELCOME THEM TO THE STAGE."

"Got to go! Surprise!" I said while running away from Jace. When I looked back he had his signature smirk on his face and I couldn't help but smile at him. I reached the stage after Jon and once we both had our microphones the music began to play.

 **(-Jon +Clary)**

 _ **+Oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa.**_

 _ **+Oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa.**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **-Be careful making wishes in the da-da, da-dark**_

 _ **-Can't be sure when they've hit their ma-ma ma-mark**_

 _ **-And besides in the mean, mean time**_

 _ **-I'm just dreaming of tearing you apart**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **-I'm in a deep deep dance with the devil**_

 _ **-You know the world can never get me on my, level**_

 _ **-I just gotta get you out the cage**_

 _ **-On my own lover's range**_

 _ **-Gonna need a spark to ignite**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **+Ohhhh oh oh oh oh**_

 _ **+This girl is on fire…**_

 _ **+This girl is on fire…**_

 _ **-Light 'em up, up, up**_

 _ **-Light 'em up, up, up**_

 _ **-Light 'em up, up, up**_

 _ **+On fire…**_

 _ **+Oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa.**_

 _ **-In the dark, dark**_

 _ **+This girl is on fire…**_

 _ **-In the dark, dark**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **+Looks like a girl, but she's a flame**_

 _ **+So bright, she can burn your eyes**_

 _ **+You better look the other way**_

 _ **+And you can try but you'll never forget her name**_

 _ **+Cause she's on top of the world**_

 _ **+The hottest of the hottest girls say**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **+Ohhhh oh oh oh oh**_

 _ **+This girl is on fire…**_

 _ **+This girl is on fire…**_

 _ **-Light 'em up, up, up**_

 _ **-Light 'em up, up, up**_

 _ **-Light 'em up, up, up**_

 _ **+On fire…**_

 _ **+Oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa.**_

 _ **-In the dark, dark**_

 _ **+This girl is on fire…**_

 _ **-In the dark, dark**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **+Yeahhhhhhh**_

 _ **+Cause my songs know…**_

 _ **+What you did in the dark…**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **+Fire…**_

 _ **-Light 'em up, up, up**_

 _ **-Light 'em up, up, up**_

 _ **-Light 'em up, up, up**_

 _ **+This girl is on fire…**_

 _ **-Light 'em up, up, up**_

 _ **-Light 'em up, up, up**_

 _ **-Light 'em up, up, up**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **+On fire…**_

 _ **+Oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa.**_

 _ **-In the dark, dark**_

 _ **+Oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa.**_

 _ **-In the dark, dark**_

 _ **+This girl is on fire…**_

 _ **-In the dark, dark**_

 _ **+Oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa.**_

By the end of the song people had started to join in and sing with us. It was one of the most amazing feelings I have ever experienced. It's just indescribable. When we were finally finished with the song, Jon came and trapped me in a bone crushing hug which I gladly returned, although mine wasn't nearly as deadly as his due to my small size. In this moment there was just one thought that was rushing through my head repeatedly, 'I never want this night to end'.

* * *

After Jon and my performance there were no more acts. That meant that people slowly started to go home until our little group of friends were some of the last people left. Since Jace was the one to give Jon and I a ride to the concert he was also in charge of giving us a ride home, so that is where I am now. In Jace's car with Jon sitting in the front seat next to Jace while I am in the back; don't get me wrong there was an argument over who would sit in the front, but Jon as usual did what all older siblings do and used the 'I'm older' argument.

"That was fun." Jon stated.

"Yh, it really was." I replied.

"How come you guys didn't tell me that you were performing together? I mean, come on, one of you is one of my best friends while the other is my girlfriend." said Jace.

He just walked into that one. "I'm so glad that you think of me as one of your best friends Jace, I'm touched." I mock.

"Dude, your nice and all, but I don't swing that way." said Jon.

"You know that's not what I meant Clary!" Jace said.

"I know, but it's just too much fun making you and Jon squirm."

"Your a little devil, you know that?"

"Your only now discovering that man? I've known that ever since she learn't to talk." said Jon.

"Hey!" I shout. They both laugh at my reaction. I guess I kind of deserved that after what I did to them before.

"Back to the topic at hand, I just wanted to say that you guys sounded amazing. The only thing that would have made it better would have been me, but maybe that would have been too much awesomeness." said Jace.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night Jace." I replied.

"Talking of awesome, I can't believe you wrote that song yourself Clary." Jon stated.

"Thanks" I answered.

"Was that really how you felt?" Jace asked with an air of seriousness. When had this conversation turned so somber?

"Kind of." I mumbled. "It's not so bad, if you don't know the real reason behind the song then it doesn't sound too bad."

"Yeah, but Clary we know the real reason behind the song and it sounds pretty bad. Do you still feel that way?" inquired Jon.

I didn't want to answer because I couldn't lie to them and if I told them the truth then they would just feel bad. It's not like they can do anything to fix it.

"Clary?" asked Jace.

Forcing myself to speak I answered them, "Sometimes". It came out more of a mumble but judging from their reactions they managed to hear me.

"I'm gonna kill that bastard." Jace stated, his knuckles turning white as he gripped the steering wheel harder.

"We've been over this, you both promised me that you wouldn't do anything. I don't want you getting hurt for something that has already happened."

"That doesn't mean that I can't think about the many ways in which I want Sebastian to suffer." replied Jace.

"Imagine all you want as long as that's as far as it goes." I tell him. Just then we reach the house and we all get out. Jon speeds into the house and presumably goes straight to the kitchen, that boy is always thinking about his stomach. Jace walks me to the door before he gently kisses me on the cheek.

"Do you have to go? Can't you stay?" I ask nervously.

"I don't see what's stopping me." Jace replied. His answer brings a smile to my face, which disappears too song at the sound of Jon's voice.

"No freaking way Herondale!"

"I guess that's what's stopping me." Jace says.

"You guess right! You may be one of my best friends, but she's still my sister!" Jon shouts from somewhere inside the house. How can he even hear us?

"Maybe next time." I whisper to Jace.

"Not gonna happen!" shouts Jon.

"How did he even hear that?!" Jace asks, voicing my thoughts out loud.

"You'll never know Herondale! Now say goodnight to my sister before I drag her inside!" answers Jon. His voice seems to be moving around the house every time he speaks. I have to find out how he is doing that and still managing to hear every word we say. Jace and I both chuckle at Jon's response.

"Goodnight Clary." Jace says.

"Goodnight." I reply before he leans down and gives me a gentle kiss. When we separate I feel myself smiling and I can see that he is too.

"I'll see you Monday shortie!" Jace shouts before he speeds off in his car. Sometimes I wonder why I even like him.


	18. Chapter 18

_**Sorry this chapter is so short but I really needed to say something and I didn't want to create a chapter just for an author's note. Anyway I wanted to tell you guys that I have just posted a new story for TMI. I am co-writing it with huda1220, but the first few chapters were written by her. I have only posted the first chapter, but I will be uploading the rest soon.**_

 _ **Please, please, please read it and favourite, follow and/or review it. The first person to leave a review including the words 'Signed Anonymous' for the other story (which is called 'City of Ascending Graves') will get a shout out in the next chapter of Signed Anonymous. I am begging you all to read it, so please do. The more successful the other story is, the faster I will upload the next chapter for this story, so get reading.**_

 _ **PS: The next chapter is super, super long and I am holding it hostage until people read City of Ascending Graves *evil laugh*-M**_

* * *

Monday morning. Two words that can make any teenager want to break down into tears, okay so I might be exaggerating just a little, or maybe not. Honestly, I don't hate school, I don't hate education. What I really hate is getting up early, I hate the ignorant people that fill the halls and judge others based on their looks. I hate that every teacher thinks that their subject is the most important and I hate how no one realises that there is life after high school, that there's a life beyond these walls. School just really sucks because they take this wonderful concept of learning and discovering new things and just completely ruin it with the atmosphere of judgement, suppression of creativity, strict deadlines and basing your intelligence on a letter.

So far the day hasn't been too bad, but that's probably because I have just come from my english class with Jace. He always knows how to put me in a good mood. The teacher even mentioned something about an upcoming project where we get to work in partners. For once in my life I hope that I have good enough luck to be able to pick my partner instead of the teacher doing it. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

"Fray!" I turn around to the sound of my name and see Simon walking towards me smiling. It just so happens that we both have the same maths class. I'd started to notice recently that in almost all of my classes someone from my new group of friends was there with me.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Nothing much, just finished an hour of torture with Mr Chambers."

"Torture?"

"Two words, Physical Education." He replied in a serious tone. I couldn't help the giggle that escaped my mouth, he made it sound as if he were actually being tortured. "It's not funny Fray, I'm serious. That man is the devil, he made us do laps for the whole period without any breaks." The more he talked, the more I laughed and it was starting to get a bit hard to breathe through my laughing fit. I eventually calmed down as we made it to our maths class. "I hate you" he muttered.

"I'm sorry Simon, how about I lend you some comics to make it up to you?"

"Marry me. Forget about Jace and marry me."

"What about Isabelle?"

"She'd definitely kill me before the wedding, hmmm. What to do, what to do?"

"Simon!"

"I was kidding! Mostly."

"I'm telling Isabel you said that." I taunt.

"And we're back to me hating you Fray. Why must this be an endless cycle?"

"Don't worry Simon, I know you love me truly."

"Sadly I do."

"Hey!" Before he could defend himself the teacher walked into the classroom and started the lesson. I couldn't help but tune her out and look around the room. As I looked over to where Kaelie and Seelie sit I saw them both glaring at me and then whispering to each other before laughing. My heart clenched as I knew that they were laughing at me. Just when I think that my life is starting to work out because my brother's back, I get a boyfriend and manage to make new friends I realise that I'm still the same person I always was. I'm still useless and even though I now have people that care about me, I still feel like I'm alone.

* * *

"Are you okay?" Asked Jace from his seat beside me at lunch.

"Yeah Clary, you've been acting weird ever since maths class." joined Simon.

"I'm fine. I just realised that the only thing I learned in maths, was that I hate maths."

"Your not the only one Fray." replied Simon, which earned a laugh from everyone at ur table. I wasn't about to tell them what I was really feeling, especially not in front of my bother and Jace. They would just get overprotective and try to make me feel better. But I don't deserve for them to try and make me feel better, they've done enough for me already.

"Hey, I heard that the school talent contest is gonna be in about three weeks, though they still haven't decided what the first place price os gonna be. It's probably gonna end up being something stupid anyway." said Isabelle. She was sitting across from me next to Simon.

"Are you taking part in the talent contest Izzy? I don't think I saw you try out." I ask.

"No. I wanted my talent to be fashion design, but they said that it wasn't an actual talent that they were looking for."

"That's not fair, you could have had a mini fashion show and shown off all of your designs."

"Tell me about it. I'll figure something out. What about you, did you audition?"

I opened my mouth to answer but Jonathan beat me to it. "You should have seen it, she was amazing."

"Jon, your my brother, your opinion is biased." I reply.

"What about my opinion? Because I thought your dancing was beautiful." said Jace.

"Your opinion does't count either because your my boyfriend." I tell him. "Besides, it wasn't even that good, Jon and your auditions were much better. I swear I even saw a few girls pass out after you guys were finished."

"So are you gonna dance for the talent contest Clary?" asked Isabelle.

"I wish I could, but my ankle still needs some time to heal and I'm not gonna have enough time after it has to make up and perfect a routine."

"What are you gonna do instead?" says Simon.

"You and Jace should totally do another duet!" squeals Izzy.

"I guess you'll just have to wait and see if we do." I tease and everyone laughs at Izzy's pout. But her face quickly changes. "No Izzy. No, no, no."

"I haven't even said anything yet." she moans.

"I know, but that's your idea face and nothing good ever comes from an Izzy idea." A chorus of yeah's and definitely's are heard around the table.

"Hey! Well this is a good idea and just for that no one is getting out of it. Tonight everyone is coming over to our house for a sleepover."

"On a school night?" Maia asks.

"Why not?" Isabelle replies. Eventually we managed to convince Isabelle to postpone the sleepover until Friday on the condition that we would all stay until Sunday. That girl is very convincing when she wants to be. Not to mention that Isabelle, Alec and Jace's parents are going to be away on a business trip until Saturday afternoon, and they've taken Max, the youngest Lightwood with them.

"Hold up! My sister is NOT sleeping in the same room as her boyfriend!" Jon states. At that moment I wished a hole would open up in the earth and swallow me whole. He was definitely trying to ruin my life.

"That's what the guest rooms are for." says Izzy. "We have three guest rooms and there are ten of us in total…"

"I don't mind sharing my room." Jace teases me, but he never expected Jon to reply instead.

"Good. I'll share with Jace." The look on Jace's face was priceless and had everyone in hysterics. After much debate it was decided that Simon and Jordan would be sharing a room, and so would Maia and Aline. I would get a guest room to myself and Jon would be sharing with Jace. The only thing that got confusing was Magnus' placement, I think he was either sharing with Isabel or Alec.


	19. Chapter 19

_**I have placed the A/N at the end of the chapter this time, please read it instead of skipping over it like I know most people do. Enjoy :)**_

* * *

The week passed by in the blink of an eye and before I knew it the final bell signalling the end of school and the start of the weekend had already rung. Isabelle has been constantly talking about the sleepover every chance she gets. At this point the only one excited about it anymore is her, and maybe Magnus. I only get about another fifteen minutes of peace before we have to be at the Lightwood house. We should have asked for an hour after school to get ready instead of half an hour, though Isabelle was reluctant enough to give us this time to ourselves, I doubt she would have allowed an hour.

"Come on Clare! If were not there in the next ten minutes Isabelle will kill us both!" Jon nags.

"I'm coming! I just need to find my phone first!" I reply as I frantically search my room.

"It's down here charging where you left it!" How could I be so stupid? Of course it was downstairs charging, I put it there as soon as we got home from school. Isabelle is stressing me out to the point where I am losing my mind. That girl will be the death of me one day.

"Okay I'm ready." I call as I make my way down the stairs towards our front door where Jon is waiting for me.

"If we're late I'm telling Isabelle that it was your fault. Every man for themselves!"

"Isn't it your job as my brother to protect me?"

"Yes, but Isabelle is scary as hell. I figured it was your turn to protect me for once."

"Your so kind." I reply sarcastically.

"I know. What would you ever do without me?" It didn't take that long to get to the Lightwood residence because they live quite close by to us, though their house is much bigger than ours, It's practically a mansion.

"Glad you could make it" Jace says, casually leaning against the doorframe.

"If we didn't come Isabelle would have kidnapped us and forced us to anyway." I retort.

"Very true, at least this way you have a little bit of free will." he replies before kissing me on the cheek and taking my bag from me. He shows Jon and I towards the rooms before pointing out his own to Jon and showing me to mine. Aline and Magnus are already in the house and Simon, Jordan and Maia get there shortly after we do. So now that everyone is here it's time for the torture to begin.

* * *

"No Izzy, no, no, no!" demands Alec. He and Isabelle were in the kitchen putting away the leftover takeout food we had.

"Come on Alec. It'll be fun!" Izzy whines.

"What are you guys talking about?" interjects Maia.

"Now you've doomed us all." says Alec in a hopeless voice.

"Don't be so dramatic Alec." replies Isabelle.

"I'm with Maia here, what are you guys talking about?" I ask.

"Isabelle wants us to play truth or dare." Alec answers.

"What's wrong with that?"

"You obviously haven't played Isabelle's version yet." Jace tells me.

"Why do we call it truth or dare anyway when we all know it's 'who do you like' or 'awkward sexual task'." adds Simon.

"It can't be that bad." I defend.

"Since Isabelle is going to force us to play it either way I guess you're going to find out just how bad it can get."

"Wohoo! Okay, so all the normal truth or dare rules apply meaning whoever gets asked gets to go next, the catch is if you don't answer the truth or refuse to do the dare you have to strip a piece of clothing off, socks count was one item. The first two rounds are truths only and then after that they are no longer allowed so you have to do the dares, no exceptions." explained Izzy. When she said 'no exceptions' she gave everyone in the room a hard look as if to show her seriousness. "Everyone sit in a circle on the floor."

We did as told after the guys moved some furniture out of the way to make room for all of us. I ended up sitting with Jace on my left and Simon on my right. Next to Simon was Isabelle, then Jon, then Aline, then Jordan, then Maia, then Alec and then Magnus who was sitting on Jace's other side.

"I'll go first" chirped Izzy. "Magnus! What is your wildest fantasy?"

"Hmmm, that is for me to know…" he replied as he started to take off his sequinned jacket. "and for you to spend your nights wondering about because you'll never find out. Simon. Describe the strangest dream you've ever had in your life."

"My strangest dream… Well there was this one where I was in this palace which looked more like a dungeon. I was completely lost so I wandered around aimlessly and then this shadow began following me and I kept looking back but I never saw anything, I only heard whispers so I ran down a really long corridor and through this door. I ended up in the Forbidden Forest, Aragog was there and of course, I'm terrified of spiders so I ran into Hogwarts and ended up in the Great Hall with everyone staring at me. Dumbledore asked me who I was, but I didn't know. Then Harry came up to me and saw this scar on my head before a whole bunch of other stuff happened and it turned out I was Harry's long lost brother."

We all sat there in silence, processing what Simon had just said. Then suddenly we all burst out laughing, we were in hysterics. I was laughing so hard it was actually hard to breathe and I could see others people were having the same problem as me. Some of us even had streams of tears rolling down our faces from laughing so much. Even Simon himself was laughing with us.

"Wow Simon, that was undeniably one of the strangest things I have ever heard." I say.

"Yeah, even I wonder what is going on in my head sometimes." After we all calmed down enough we carried on playing the game. By the end of the first two rounds almost everyone had stripped off a piece of clothing. I had taken off my jacket while other people who weren't lucky enough to be wearing jackets were forced to strip off other pieces of clothing. Since we were only on the second round there wasn't too much nudity going on but I fear that there soon will be when the dares start to come around.

"Who's turn is it?" I ask.

"I think it's Magnus' turn." Maia informs us.

"You mean sparkles over here?" Jace says. "Seriously dude, overtime you move I get a shower of glitter on me."

"And what's wrong with glitter?" Magnus asks with a raised eyebrow.

"It's tacky and it keeps getting in my eyes."

"You'll pay for that blondie. Clary! I dare you to kiss every guy in the room except for your boyfriend and your brother obviously."

"You'll pay for that warlock." Jace snarls. I thought about not doing the dare but all I had left were my jeans and my top and I didn't exactly want to be in my underwear in front of anyone so I turned to Simon, since he was the closest guy to me and kissed him before walking over to Jordan, Alec and Magnus and doing the same thing to each of them. After every kiss I looked over to Jace to see that he had his jaw clenched and his hands were in fists by his side. After every kiss I could tell that he was becoming more and more angry.

"Jordan. I dare you to become Aline's slave for the rest of the time we spend here." I say in order to try and difuse some of the tension in the room.

"That's not too bad." he replies.

"Oh really?" asks Aline with a smirk. "We'll see about that." Jordan gulped so loud the whole room heard it. I am looking forward to seeing where this is going. But for now it's Jordan's turn.

"Isabelle, I dare you to give a lap dance to Jace."

"Eww no, he's my brother." Luckily since Isabelle was the one to suggest playing truth or dare she was prepared. When she took her skirt off she was wearing a pair of compression shorts underneath. Smart girl. "Jace. With Clary's shirt tucked into her trousers you have to try and get some pieces of ice out using your face while her and your hands are tied behind your backs." I am going to kill that girl.

"Challenge accepted." replied Jace arrogantly. Izzy quickly ran to her bedroom and retrieved to scarves with which she used to tie mine and Jace's hands together behind our backs. Then she tightly tucked in my shirt and dumped some pieces of ice down the front.

"Go!" To say the ice was cold was an understatement. It was freezing cold to say the least, as soon as the ice hit my body it started to slowly melt against my warm skin successfully soaking my shirt, despite Jace removing all of the ice cubes in record time. Once Jace was finished Izzy untied our hands and we continued with the game.

"Rat boy, you have drink 5 large glasses of water."

"What's so bad about that?"

"I wasn't finished you also have to ask the group whenever you want to use the toilet and the decision must be unanimous before you are allowed to go." Simon muttered something that sounded a lot like 'devil child' before downing the five glasses. He seemed to be fine for the moment, but I doubt that will last very long.

"Jon I dare you and Aline to spend the rest of the game tied to each other."

"My pleasure." Jon replied.

"Eww Jon, not while your sister is in the room!" I tell him, while Isabelle uses one of the scarves from before to tie Jon's right hand to Aline's left hand.

"Alec, I dare you to passionately kiss another member of the group for a full 20 seconds." Alec being as smart as he was noticed my brothers mistake and turned to Magnus and kissed him.

"You weren't meant to kiss Magnus." Jon whined.

"Hey, you never said that I couldn't kiss him. Your exact words were 'another member of the group'."

"Fine!" complained Jon.

"Maia, I dare you to place a lipstick between your lips and write kiss me on someone's stomach." After being handed a lipstick from Isabelle, Maia turned to Jordan and lifted his shirt up. It didn't actually turn out that badly considering the fact that she was writing it with her mouth. You could definitely read it without any problems. By this point Simon was fidgeting like crazy and was begging everyone to let him use the bathroom. Most of us said yes straight away but a few were reluctant. Eventually everyone gave in and let him use the bathroom, but not before some teasing and a bit of laughing at his discomfort. When Simon came back we continued with the game.

"Isabelle, I dare you to do a body shot of tequila off of Simon's chest."

"Bring it on." Jordan went in to the kitchen and retrieved the salt, a piece of lime and the shot of tequila. When he came back Simon went to lie on his back and Isabelle was sitting on top of him straddling his hips. She slowly lifted his shirt up and grabbed the salt from Jordan's outstretched hand pouring it in a line from Simons' belly button all the way up his chest. Then she grabbed the lime and placed it in Simon's mouth.

The tension had been building the whole time and by now the whole room was silent in anticipation, waiting for Isabelle to make her move. Slowly, she leant down a licked the salt off of Simon's bare chest before taking the shot and leaning down towards Simon and taking the lime from him using her own mouth. When she finished the group cheered and waited for everyone to get back to their seats before continuing with the game.

"Aline." Izzy said, "I dare you to pour your drink on Jonathan's chest and then lick it off."

"Really Izzy!" I screeched. "You are going to subject my poor virgin eyes to seeing THAT!"

"Suck it up. It won't be that bad." she replied, but it was that bad. Watching as my brother's face changed to one of pleasure as Aline slid her tongue across his bare chest. I will never be able to erase that image out of my mind and I have Izzy to thank for that.

"Magnus." Aline announced.

"Yes my darling?"

"I dare you to remove the shirt of a random person in the group."

Cue my stupid boyfriend, "What's the point in that? We all know he's gonna pick Alec." He soon regretted those words because Magnus did not pick Alec. In fact he got up and walked in the opposite direction. Mine. I was too stunned to do anything as Magnus reached towards my shirt and pulled it off of my body. Satisfied, he pranced back to his seat with a goofy grin. "It's like your trying to get me to beat you up Warlock."

"I wouldn't have done that if you wouldn't have opened your big mouth darling. You really must learn when to be quiet." It seemed Jace learned his lesson because instead of answering Magnus he shrugged his own shirt off and wrapped it around me, probably after seeing my intense blush caused by Magnus' actions. I snuggled up to Jace's warm arms that were wrapped around me, covering my body like a protective shield. How is it that I wasn't even the one doing the dare and I still managed to get stripped? Next time I go to Isabelle's house I am picking better underwear instead of my plain cotton bra that everyone had now had a good view of. Scratch that, next time I got to Isabelle's house I am dressing up in as much clothing as humanly possible, on the off chance that we play this stupid game again.

"Clary!" Magnus called.

"What?" I hadn't realised that I had drifted off into my own thoughts.

"I dare you to sit in Jace's lap for the rest of the game." Now this was a dare that I was comfortable with. I gladly stood up, still trying to cover myself as much as possible with Jace's shirt, and sat on his lap. He wrapped his strong arms around me and I was encased in his drug like aroma. It was hard to concentrate on anything other than Jace.

"Alec, I dare you too… write 'kiss me' across your cheek and then go up to everyone and get them to." Maia handed him the lipstick she had used earlier on Jordan's chest. The girls gladly kissed Alec on the cheek while I noticed that most of the guys found it kind of awkward doing so. You'd think they knew how to kiss someone on the cheek because they all had girlfriends and had been doing it enough through the game, but when it came to kissing Alec on the cheek they all seemed to tense up and act all weird. It was hilarious to watch. Though out of all of us Magnus seemed to enjoy kissing Alec more than anyone and stayed kissing his cheek for a bit too long.

"Maia," Alec said. "I dare you to kiss another girl in this room." Magnus got very excited at this prospect and inched closer to Alec. Maia seemed to be weighing her options as she scanned the room before standing up and walking over to Isabelle and giving her a long kiss. Simon and Jordan looked horrified that their girlfriends were kissing anyone but them and Alec seemed to be shocked that Maia chose his sister of all people.

"Jace, I dare you to put whipped cream on your body and have another person lick it off." A devilish grin appeared on his face as he turned to me.

"Would you do me the honours?" I was hesitant at first, up until my brother decided that I had no choice.

"She certainly will not!" Jon almost screamed.

"Are you volunteering?" Jace asked, he may have been joking but I saw a flash of shock appear on his face before it quickly went back to the relaxed façade that he had before.

"Hell no!" Jon replied.

"Stop being such a baby Jon, I had to watch you do it." I tell him.

"Does that mean yes?" Jace asks me. I nod my head, afraid to open my mouth in case I decide to get some sense in the next few seconds and reject the offer. What kind of girl wouldn't want to lick whipped cream off of those abs?

Since Jace had no shirt on all he had to do was lie down as Jordan sprayed whipped cream all over his chest. I think Jordan was starting to regret being Aline's slave, she's going to milk this the whole time we are here. Once Jordan was done it was my turn. I started by straddling Jace's legs and placing my hands on the floor on either side of his body. Then I slowly leaned my head down, never breaking eye contact.

As I stared into those golden pools, I could see all of the emotions he was feeling rushing through them. First there was a bit of nervousness, which quickly turned into excitement which then turned into adoration. The last emotion stayed there the longest as I inched closer towards him, slowly closing the space between our bodies. I could feel the heat radiating off of him, I could smell his iconic scent- leather and sandalwood, but most of all I could feel the beat of his heart against my body.

Since I never actually buttoned up Jace's shirt it had swung open so that he had a full view of me in my bra. Though I didn't mind because he wasn't looking at me there. He was staring straight into my eyes, almost as if he could see my very soul, the thing that makes me who I am. The look on his face told me all I needed to know and with that I broke eye contact with him and slowly licked the whipped cream off of his muscled torso. The slow pounding of his heart quickened and became erratic.

When I had finished with the cream I leaned closer to his face so that our mouths were mere inches apart. We were so close our breaths were mixing in the air, so close I could see every detail in his beautiful eyes, down to the last fleck of amber. Even this close, the distance was still too much so with one last push our lips crashed together. His soft lips brushed against my chapped and dry ones, some of the cream had managed to get on my chin and was now smudging Jace's face as well.

We finally broke apart for air and realised that everyone in the room was staring at us. The deadly silence was replaced by a mix of aww's, yuck's and one 'get a room'. I slowly got off of Jace not wanting to be apart and we resumed our position of me sitting on his lap. I wiped some cream off of his chin with my thumb resulting in a loving smile from Jace. Then he was leaning forward and peppering my face with chaste kisses, in an attempt to remove any left over cream on my face.

Someone loudly cleared their throat in an attempt to gain everyone's attention, "Jace!" At the mention of his name, he stopped what he was doing and looked up and the circle of people. "If you're done sucking Clary's face off, it's your turn." Isabelle remarked.

"Oh right. Aline, I dare you to kiss someone blindfolded and then try to guess who it is."

"How are we gonna decide who kisses her." Asked Maia.

"I guess we could a name from a hat." I suggest. Everyone agreed to my idea so Jordan trotted off in search of a hat, a piece of paper and a pen to write with. I can just picture Jordan doing all of the work for us while we're here thanks to Aline. When he came back we Isabelle wrote all of our names down on the paper before ripping it up, folding each piece and slipping it into the hat. "Okay, Aline. Since you're the one who is kissing the person I think you should pick the name, but don't look at it."

She did as told and handed the piece of paper over to Isabelle whose face lit up at seeing the name written on it. She quickly closed the piece of paper before talking, "Alright, now we blindfold Aline and once we've made sure she can't see I'll point to the person who has to kiss her." The anticipation of knowing who was going to be kissing Aline was killing me, what if it was my name on the paper? How gross would it be if I had to kiss my brother's girlfriend, someone who's lips his have already touched.

I looked over to Jon and saw that he was itching to know who was going to kiss Aline as well. Probably so that he could kill them afterwards. When Isabelle finally deemed Aline as 'blind' she turned to the rest of us with a cheeky grin. "Now I'm going to point to the person that will kiss Aline" she slowly lifted her hand and pointed to one of us in the room. When I saw that she wasn't pointing at me my heart skipped a beat, but then my next thought was 'what if she is pointing to Jace?' I don't want him kissing her any more than I want to kiss her myself.

Luckily it wasn't Jace either, I followed the direction of Isabelle's finger and saw exactly who the lucky winner was. That's when I understood the cheeky smile. She was pointing at Jonathan. He seemed to be just as relieved as me because all of the tension in his shoulders from before was gone and he was once again completely relaxed.

It was quite amusing watching Aline trying to guess who kissed her. At first she went all red before she started to stutter and reason with herself out loud. "Well I definitely know it was a guy… Come on, this is so unfair. The only one here I have already kissed is Jon so how am I supposed to tell the difference!" she whined. The poor girl had no idea that she didn't need any comparison, everyone except for her understood this and were laughing at her cluelessness. "What the hell! What's so funny?!"

Eventually we decided to tell her who it was, but not before we all thoroughly enjoyed watching her squirm. We probably aren't the nicest people around, but when you're having this much fun, who cares? I know I don't. I started to notice that people's eyes were beginning to droop and there were a few stifled yawns happening around me. The adrenaline from the games had worn off and now we were all about to collapse from exhaustion.

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm going to bed." Isabelle stated. Everyone quickly agreed and headed off in separate directions. Jace and I stayed behind a little and started to clean up the massive mess we had all made.

"Clary, you're exhausted. Go to bed. I can sort this out." Jace told me.

"I'm fine. I feel bad letting you clean all of this up by yourself. We all made the mess."

"Your not fine, you can barely stand. Go to bed Clary."

"No."

"Why are you so stubborn? Are you always gonna do the exact opposite of what I tell you?"

"It's in my blood." I try to joke, but Jace was right, I was exhausted and barely had enough energy to concentrate of cleaning. I decided to pick uptake scattered pieces of clothing that everyone had discarded and forgotten to pick up before going to bed.

* * *

 _ **J POV**_

I came back from the kitchen, after having placed all of the empty glasses in the dishwasher, to find Clary asleep on the floor with a big pile of clothing being used as a pillow. She looked so peaceful as she slept, like nothing could hurt her. I could stand there and stare at her all night, basking in her beauty. Instead I gently picked her up and placed her in the bed of the guest room she was staying in.

She was still wearing my shirt that I had given her earlier. Seeing her in it made my heart swell and my stomach flip. She was so beautiful, with her fiery red curls cascading down the sides of her face and her small freckles sprinkled all over her face. I pulled the blanket over her before playing a gentle kiss on her forehead and sneaking out of the room.

I went back to the living room and cleaned up the rest of the mess. I couldn't help but think about when I was dared to spray whipped cream over my body and Clary was the one that licked it off. When she was sitting on top of me she looked so confident, so sure of herself. I hadn't ever seen her like that, usually she is quite shy and closed off. It suits her to be in control, to be the strong woman that I know she really is.

When I was completely happy with how the way the living room looked with all of the furniture back in it's original place and the once pile of messy clothes now neatly folded and placed on top of the coffee table I was finally ready to go to bed. Sadly when I go to my room I saw that Jonathan had taken up my whole bed. I don't mean that he was just lying in it, no, he had managed to spread himself out in a way that not even a small animal could sit on that bed comfortably. I quietly changed into a pair of flannel pants and brushed my teeth before using one the the pillows Jonathan had discarded to the floor and creating a makeshift bed on the floor next to my bed, falling asleep with thoughts of my amazing Clary.

* * *

 _ **Don't forget to check out my other story called City of Ascending Graves, s** **hout out to Hannah (Guest). Thank you for your review for City of Ascending Graves & I'm glad your enjoying both that story and this one. **_

_**Shout out to Shortcomings for their review for chapter 18, I hope this lives up to your expectations. As promised this chapter was extra long, the next chapter is also longer than**_ ** _usual, but I'm not gonna upload it for a few days. Maybe if there are a few more reviews, favs or follows for City of Ascending Graves I might change my mind. -M_**


	20. Chapter 20

_**I'm soooooo sorry that this took so long. I wanted to post this chapter earlier in the week but my stupid account kept crashing every time I tried. I only got it to work because I uploaded the chapter bit by bit. Anyway I'm really sorry that it took so long, sadly I will not be able to update soon because I am going on holiday for two weeks and won't be near a computer or an internet connection. I'll try and post as soon as I get back but I won't get back until late in the day and I have school the next day (the horror!) so I'm not making any promises.**_

 _ **Shout out to VMars lover, loved your review. I also wanted to reply to Chasezomb who asked if I was writing more, the answer is yes, I still have a lot planned for this story and intend to keep writing even though summer is almost over and I will be going back to school soon :(**_

 ** _Thank you to all of my loyal readers who have been here from the beginning , you guys are the best. Also a big thank you to anyone who started reading anywhere in the story and has stuck with me throughout. I love you all. Lastly I want to thank my beta ICanExplain for correcting this chapter for me.-M_**

* * *

 **C POV**

His hands were painfully pressing against my body, his fingers digging into the skin with an iron-like grip. The cool metal behind my back stung and I was shoved further into it. I couldn't move, no matter how much I fought and tried to push away. I wanted to scream, but no sound escaped my mouth. My silent plea was trapped in the air, slowly dying. A harsh whisper taunting me repeatedly.

"There's no one here"

"We have some unfinished business"

"Stop fighting this"

The harsh words echoed in the air, escalating until it was they were no longer whispers. Instead they were shouts, all merging together until the words were unfathomable. My body ached from the painful grip holding me down. My skin felt like it was on fire, trying to burn away the scum from being touched by that monster. Two black orbs bore into my soul, they could see all of my secrets, all of my hopes and fears. They removed all of the joy from my life, sucked out the hope that was once there, polluted the love that I once felt. Leaving me with nothing but despair, sorrow and anguish.

More hands started to appear on my body, clamping down with bruising force. More and more hands appeared, slowly suffocating me. Pushing me down until I couldn't breathe. My lungs burned as they yearned for some oxygen. My throat was raw and my eyes stung as they searched through the never ending darkness, searching for some light, something to move towards, something to help me.

My entire body was being held down when a final pair of hands reached towards me and clutched at my neck, slowly squeezing the life from me. Every single drop draining out of me. The darkness seemed to impossibly grow darker until I couldn't see anything at all.

* * *

Blood curdling screams filled the room, echoing off the walls accompanied by someone's shouts, "Clary! Clary wake up!" I shot up and was met with two pairs of eyes. I could still feel the hands clamping down on me painfully, the lack of oxygen in my lungs, the stinging pain in my eyes and the rawness of my throat. I realised then that I was the one screaming, tears streaming down my eyes.

Jordan, who had been calling my name, reached towards me. I quickly flinched away from his touch, still screaming. The hands were suffocating me, I had to get away, I needed to breathe. Simon and Jordan were saying things to me, but I couldn't hear anything over the taunting shouts and my own screams.

Isabelle rushed into the room and started to approach me slowly. She too was talking, trying to calm me down. She reached out a hand towards me, but I couldn't stop myself from flinching away from it. That didn't discourage her as she continued to reach towards me, placing her hand on my shoulder. When her hand made contact I was snapped back to reality. My screams stopped, replaced by sobs. I sank into Isabelle's embrace while she softly stroked my hair and whispered calming words to me. I sank my head into Isabelle's shoulder, trying to escape the world.

I heard more people enter my room and walk towards us. I couldn't bring myself to look up to see who it was until I felt their large hands on me. I screamed at the contact and backed away from whoever it was. Isabelle immediately tried to calm me once again, when I finally calmed down enough to see who it was I saw the worried eyes of both my brother and my boyfriend. I began to sob harder and collapsed into both of them, seeking comfort in their loving embraces.

I don't know how long I stayed like that, clutching them while I sobbed. Eventually my sobs died down to small whimpers, but my body was still trembling with fear. The memories flashing inside my head, the taunts shouting in my ears. "I think we should let Clary get some sleep." Isabelle suggested.

The thought of being alone petrified me so I clung to the two people embracing me trying to keep them with me. "Please don't leave me." I pleaded, only loud enough for Jace and Jon to hear.

"Why don't we all camp out downstairs in the living room instead." Jace suggested. Everyone agreed and started to move out of the room. By the time everyone was gone except for Jace, Jon and I, my body had stopped shaking and my sobs had turned into silent tears.

"Come on Clare, let's go downstairs." Jon said as he slowly helped me to my feet. We walked out into the hallway in silence and made our way down the stairs towards the living room. When we got there I saw that everyone was already there and had once again moved he furniture out of the way in order to place a pile of blankets and pillows on the floor in a circle. I walked over to one of the makeshift beds and snuggled into the blankets as if they could protect me.

The air shifted next to me and I looked over so see Jace lying down next to me. We stared at each other for a while, content with just looking into each other's eyes. Just a simple glance could make me feel safe, wanting to be closer to him I shifted so that I was using his chest as a pillow. He responded by wrapping his arms around my shoulders and drawing small circles into my skin in a comforting manner.

Listening to the sound of his heart beating was like listening to a lullaby, all other sounds around me were blocked out, leaving only the steady pounding of his heart. After a while I realised that everyone else had fallen asleep leaving Jace and I as the only ones still awake.

"Clary?" Jace whispered.

"Mhhhm?" I hummed.

"You know you can tell me anything right?"

"I dreamt about him."

"Him?"

"Sebastian. It started off with him pushing me against the lockers, but then he started choking me, and… and I… I couldn't breathe." Trying to explain it brought back memories of the dream. I started panicking again and found it harder to breathe.

"Shhh, It's okay. I'm right here, I promise I won't let anything happen to you again." His comforting words broke through my panic. My breathing slowed and my mind seemed to be able to focus once again. "I love you Clary." I looked into his beautiful eyes that were filled with so much love and adoration. "I don't want you to say it back to me because you feel like you have to. I only want you to say it when you're ready, when you're one hundred percent sure."

"I love you too." And I do, I do love him. I've known it for a long time, I just never knew how to put it into words until now. He squeezed me tighter and I nuzzled my face back into his chest. We just lay there, in a tangle of limbs until we both fell asleep.

* * *

I wake up to a cold 'bed', I open my eyes and see that my initial suspicions were correct. Jace is gone and I am alone on the makeshift bed. Looking around I can see that there are still a few people asleep, so I quietly get up and make my way to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee.

"Morning sunshine." Jace chirps as I enter the kitchen. He is sitting by the island along with Magnus and Jonathan. Looking over to the clock on the oven I see that it's only nine o'clock.

"Why are you guys up so early?" I mumbled.

"I would have slept longer, but this guy over here…" Jace explains as he points to Jon, "dragged me out of bed."

"That's because you were practically smothering my sister." Jon defends.

"I was not."

"How would you know, you were asleep."

"Does it really matter now anyway?" Magnus interrupts. My coffee is finally ready, so I walk over to the island and sit next to Jonathan who happened to be on the end of the three boys. Just then a sleepy looking Isabelle stumbled into the room.

"Have none of you ever heard of quiet? I was having my beauty sleep."

"It didn't seem to work very well, you might want to go back and get some more." Jace teased.

"One day, I might just sneak into your room and give you a little haircut." Isabelle threatened as she maked scissor motions with her fingers. Jace snapped his hands up to his beautiful golden hair with a look of absolute horror on his face.

"You wouldn't."

"Try me."

After breakfast, I went to the guest room to get dressed before Isabelle kidnapped me and demanded that we bake together. Needless to say that I will NEVER be cooking with Isabelle ever again. I never thought it was possible for someone to make poison by accident. I'm not even sure what she was trying to make, it was sort of a combination of brownies, cookies and cake, yet somehow she had added in fish to the recipe. Isabelle may have many talents, but cooking is NOT one of them.

"Were home!" announced a female voice from the doorway. That must have been Isabelle, Alec and Jace's mum. Isabelle and I made our way to the front entrance to help out, although everyone else in the house seemed to beat us to it.

"I see you've managed to keep this place in one piece." said an older looking man, who I'm assuming is their father.

"How was the trip?" asked Jace.

"It was awesome, we got to go to all of these museums and I even got a new comic! Look!" replied a small boy who looked to be about seven years old, though I'm sure I remember someone telling me that he was older than that.

"That's great Max. Why don't you show it to me once you've unpacked?" said Jace.

"Okay!" Max's smile seemed to encompass his whole face. He radiated a sort of energy that made you feel like you could do anything, especially when he was talking to Jace.

"Children, where are your manners, you have yet to introduce us to your new friends." scolded their father.

"Robert, don't be so harsh. I'm sure they were just getting to it." replied his wife.

"Right, this is Jonathan." Jace started to explain as he indicated who he was talking about. "Next to him is Aline, his girlfriend. And this is Clary, my girlfriend."

"So YOU'RE the Clary he can't stop talking about." The older woman said. My cheeks turned red from embarrassment, what had Jace been saying about me?

"Stop it Maryse, you'll scare the girl off." said Robert.

"I'm just talking to her. We have to go and unpack anyway, it was nice seeing you all again, and it was also nice to meet you three." Once Maryse, Robert and Max had disappeared everyone seemed to go back to doing whatever they were doing before. I however, was in no mood to go anywhere near that kitchen while Isabelle was near it, so I decided to explore instead.

The Lightwood house was so big that I'm surprised I didn't get lost (okay, so maybe I did get a little lost, but I soon found my way back). While walking around the house I discovered that Simon was trying to teach Jordan and Jonathan some sort of weird game. Both Jonathan and Jordan looked like Simon was speaking a complete other language to them. I also found Aline and Maia talking in their guest room about some teacher that they both seemed to have at school.

Alec and Magnus were nowhere to be found, though I'm not sure I want to find them if they are together. That might just leave me with emotional scarring that will require years of therapy to cure. Isabelle was still in the kitchen, or as I have now deemed it Isabelle's biohazard factory.

The only person I couldn't seem to find was Jace, he had somehow magically disappeared and I had almost checked the whole house. Just as I was about to walk into the living room, music started to play. It was the sound of a guitar and Jace's voice.

 _ **How do I ask her to come back to me**_

 _ **After I told her**_

 _ **goodbye**_

 _ **How do I love her so desperately for**_

 _ **so long I**_

 _ **pushed her aside**_

 _ **How do I walk back into her life**_

 _ **When I'm the one who walked out on her**_

 _ **How do I ask her, to see me**_

 _ **again**_

 _ **I told her that I wasn't sure, That we could be**_

 _ **friends**_

I decided that it would be rude to eavesdrop so I quietly walked into the room and sat down on the sofa opposite from Jace. He briefly looked up from the guitar and gave me a small smile.

 _ **God can you whisper, in her ear**_

 _ **Anywhere on**_

 _ **the way to her car**_

 _ **Before the wind blows her too**_

 _ **far**_

 _ **Away from my heart**_

 _ **Can you whisper in her**_

 _ **ear**_

 _ **Anytime while she's lying on her bed**_

 _ **Can you tell her**_

 _ **Everything that I've said**_

 _ **Everything that I've said**_

 _ **Oh Ou**_

More and more people came into the room the more Jace played. I think his singing could be heard from the the whole house.

How do I try and explain everything

When nothing I

said seems to fit

 _ **Ohhh No**_

 _ **How do I get her to**_

 _ **pick up the phone**_

 _ **Baby how did we ever get like this**_

 _ **Tell me**_

 _ **what kind of man, lets love slip away**_

 _ **And leave such a good**_

 _ **thing behind**_

 _ **Holdin' my hands pressed**_

 _ **Praying to find, a**_

 _ **way to fill in this hole that I have inside**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **God can you**_

 _ **whisper, in her ear**_

 _ **Anywhere on the way to her**_

 _ **car**_

 _ **Before the wind blows her too far**_

 _ **Away from my**_

 _ **heart**_

 _ **Can you whisper in her ear**_

 _ **Anytime while she's lying**_

 _ **on her bed**_

 _ **Can you tell her everything that I've**_

 _ **said**_

 _ **Everything that I've said**_

 _ **Yeeeeahh**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **OOh**_

 _ **Ouuuuuuuu, Can you whisper**_

 _ **OOOOOuuu, How can you talk to**_

 _ **her**_

 _ **Can you talk to her, Ooowouu Yeeah, Can you,**_

 _ **Whisper**_

 _ **Can you, Whisper, OuowuOWow Hmmmm Heeey**_

When he was finished we all started to clap at his performance. He really was an amazing singer.

"That was amazing Jace." I tell him.

"I was just messing around. I'm sure you could do much."

"You play the guitar?" Maryse asked me.

"Not really, I used to a while ago."

"Your such a liar, I can hear you playing in your room all the time." Jon says.

"Why don't you play something Clary?" Maryse asks. I'm really scared to play in front of everyone, but I don't think I could say no to Maryse, so I take the guitar that Jace is offering to me.

"I only really know one song fully." I tell them before I start to play the guitar. It's kind of like muscle memory playing the guitar. Once I have begun playing it all starts to come back to me easily.

 **(-Clary +Jace *Both)**

 _ **-I thought that I'd been hurt before**_

 _ **-But no one's ever left me quite this sore**_

 _ **-Your words cut deeper than a knife**_

 _ **-Now I need someone to breathe me back to life**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **-Got a feeling that I'm going under**_

 _ **-But I know that *I'll make it out alive**_

 _ **-If I quit calling you my lover**_

 _ ***Move on**_

Jace seemed to recognise the song and started to sing with me. I was so grateful for this simple gesture because it seemed to calm me down completely, allowing me to get lost in the song.

 _ **-You watch me bleed until I can't breathe**_

 _ **+Shaking, falling onto my knees**_

 _ **-And now that I'm without your kisses**_

 _ **+I'll be needing stitches**_

 _ **-Tripping over myself,**_

 _ **+Aching, begging you to come help**_

 _ **-And now that I'm without your kisses**_

 _ **+I'll be needing stitches**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **+Just like a moth drawn to the flame**_

 _ **+Oh, you lured me in, I couldn't sense the pain**_

 _ **+Your bitter heart cold to the touch**_

 _ ***Now I'm gonna reap what I sow**_

 _ ***I'm left seeing red on my own**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **+Got a feeling that I'm going under**_

 _ **+But I know that I'll *make it out alive**_

 _ **+If I quit calling you my lover**_

 _ ***Move on**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **+You watch me bleed until I can't breathe**_

 _ **-Shaking, falling onto my knees**_

 _ **+And now that I'm without your kisses**_

 _ **-I'll be needing stitches**_

 _ **+Tripping over myself,**_

 _ **-Aching, begging you to come help**_

 _ **+And now that I'm without your kisses**_

 _ **-I'll be needing stitches**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **+Needle and the thread,**_

 _ **+Gotta get you out of my head**_

 _ **+Needle and the thread,**_

 _ **+Gonna wind up dead**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **-Needle and the thread,**_

 _ **-Gotta get you out of my head**_

 _ **-Needle and the thread,**_

 _ **-Gonna wind up dead**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **+Needle and the thread,**_

 _ **+Gotta get you out of my head**_

 _ **+Needle and the thread,**_

 _ **+Gonna wind up dead**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **-Needle and the thread,**_

 _ **-Gotta get you out of my head, *get you out of my head**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **+You watch me bleed until I can't breathe**_

 _ **-Shaking, falling onto my knees**_

 _ **+And now that I'm without your kisses**_

 _ **-I'll be needing stitches**_

 _ **+Tripping over myself,**_

 _ **-Aching, begging you to come help**_

 _ **+And now that I'm without *your kisses**_

 _ **-I'll be needing stitches**_

Everyone broke into a round of applause including Jace, even though he was performing with me. I was so lucky to have him, I don't deserve someone like him. He looks at me now with such pride and adoration, his smile makes my insides turn to much. It gives me butterflies in my stomach that feel like someone has given them caffein. Why did he choose me? He could have anyone he wanted and yet he chooses me.

How did I get so lucky? Not just with Jace, but with everything. I actually have friends that care about me, I have a boyfriend who loves me and I finally have my own little family. One day I'm going to wake up and realise that this was all a dream, and I'll have to return back to my life of being invisible. My life where Jace doesn't know I exist, where Jon is still in boarding school and I have no one that cares about me. All I can hope for is that I never wake up from this dream I want to call reality.

"Jon's right. You are such a liar, that was even better than Jace's song." Isabelle tells me.

"Only because he sang with me." I tell her.

"You guys sound amazing together. I wish I could have seen your performance at the school concert." Maryse informs us.

"Do you know any other songs?" Alec asks from behind me. I hadn't noticed him come in, he almost gave me a heart attack when he spoke.

"Kind of, but I don't really know the lyrics. But Jon does." Jon and I exchanged silent looks before I started to play again.

 _ **I was left to my own devices**_

 _ **Many days fell away with nothing to show**_

Once everyone realised what I was playing they began to join in by drumming their hands against different surfaces and stomping their feet.

 _ **And the walls kept tumbling down**_

 _ **In the city that we love**_

 _ **Great clouds roll over the hills**_

 _ **Bringing darkness from above**_

Jace, Jordan and Simon even started backing Jon a bit in the vocals.

 _ **But if you close your eyes,**_

 _ **Does it almost feel like**_

 _ **Nothing changed at all?**_

 _ **And if you close your eyes,**_

 _ **Does it almost feel like**_

 _ **You've been here before?**_

 _ **How am I gonna be an optimist about this?**_

 _ **How am I gonna be an optimist about this?**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **We were caught up and lost in all of our vices**_

 _ **In your pose as the dust settled around us**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **And the walls kept tumbling down**_

 _ **In the city that we love**_

 _ **Great clouds roll over the hills**_

 _ **Bringing darkness from above**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **But if you close your eyes,**_

 _ **Does it almost feel like**_

 _ **Nothing changed at all?**_

 _ **And if you close your eyes,**_

 _ **Does it almost feel like**_

 _ **You've been here before?**_

 _ **How am I gonna be an optimist about this?**_

 _ **How am I gonna be an optimist about this?**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **But if you close your eyes,**_

 _ **Eheu eh-o eheu eh-o**_

 _ **Eheu eh-o eheu eh-o**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **Oh where do we begin?**_

 _ **The rubble or our sins?**_

 _ **Oh oh where do we begin?**_

 _ **The rubble or our sins?**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **And the walls kept tumbling down (oh where do we begin?)**_

 _ **In the city that we love (the rubble or our sins?)**_

 _ **Great clouds roll over the hills (oh where do we begin?)**_

 _ **Bringing darkness from above (the rubble or our sins?)**_

 ** _—_**

 _ **But if you close your eyes,**_

 _ **Does it almost feel like**_

 _ **Nothing changed at all?**_

 _ **And if you close your eyes,**_

 _ **Does it almost feel like**_

 _ **You've been here before?**_

 _ **How am I gonna be an optimist about this?**_

 _ **How am I gonna be an optimist about this?**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **If you close your eyes, does it almost feel like nothing changed at all?**_

 _ **—**_

 _ **Eheu eh-o eheu eh-o**_

 _ **Eheu eh-o eheu eh-o**_

 _ **Eheu eh-o eheu eh-o**_

 _ **Eheu eh-o eheu eh-o**_

Once again everyone clapped when we were finished, except this time we were all clapping for each other.

"That was so much fun." remarked Isabelle. "Do you know any more songs?"

"No, sorry." I replied.

"It's time for lunch anyway." Maryse told us. With that we all got up and left the living room so that we could eat. Jace intertwined his hand with mine as we walked together to get some food. I wish everyday could be like today.


	21. Chapter 21

_**I know, I know, it's been forever since I last posted. I'll try and make this short so that you can read the chapter ASAP. I want to give a shout out to EVERYONE since you are all amazing and have stuck with me even though I can be such a pain and not update for ages.**_

 _ **The song for second part of chapter is To Build a home by The Cinematic Orchestra.**_

 ** _Last, but not least, I want to thank my beta ICanExplain for correcting most of this chapter for me. -M_**

* * *

After lunch I decided to walk around the house a bit and explore. Jordan had to go and pick something up from a friend of his, it took the boys a while but after much begging and grovelling Isabelle finally let them leave for an hour or two. In the end Jon, Jace and Alec went with him just to get out of the house for a bit.

I couldn't help but notice the beauty in the architecture of the house. It was the perfect balance between modern and old. There were columns on either side of the massive staircase with intricate designs carved into them. The paintings on the walls face the house a homely feeling without overpowering the beauty of the actual house.

On top of some of the shelves there were pictures depicting different scenes from the Lightwoods' lives. There was a picture of of Izzy with Alec and Jace giving her a big kiss on either of her cheeks. Next to it there was a picture of Jace giving Max a piggy back ride through a park. The picture that was next to that one was the funniest of all, it showed Jace running away from a small duck that was climbing out of a pond in the park. Jace's face was priceless, it was a mix between horror and anger at the person who was taking the photograph of Jace.

I continued walking down the endless halls, admiring the beauty and history of the house. When I turned a corner I came across a set of french doors that led to the large garden around the back of the house. Slowly I walked across the threshold and into nature. The luscious grass crunched beneath my feet, the smell of fresh flowers overpowered my nostrils. The sound of birds chirping filled the air, accompanied by the strong rays of the sun shining onto my skin.

I took a moment to enjoy everything around me, the memory of my mother resurfacing. I could just picture her now, enjoying all the beauty here, capturing in a painting. Freezing time in this one moment with the stroke of her brush. She always used to tell me to look deeper than the surface, to notice the little things that made everything that more special. Of course that was before she started to change, no longer able to actually see the world as she used to. A small tear rushed down my cheek, I brushed it away, shoving down the memories that could only cause me pain.

I carried on walking for a while before I came across a small figure sitting in the grass underneath an angel oak tree. As I approached I saw that the figure was none other than the young Max Lightwood, he appeared to be reading a comic.

"Hey Max." I announced. The young boy looked up to me through his glasses.

"Oh, hi."

"What are you reading?"

"Angel Sanctuary"

"Really? I used to love reading that when I was your age." His eyes grew wide and his mouth formed a smile, his shines slowly slipped away. I sat next to Max as we talked for a while. At first we talked about comics before the topic changed to his siblings and what it was like to group with them.

"Why is Jace afraid of ducks anyway?" I asked Max.

"No one really knows. He just thinks that all ducks are bloodthirsty little beasts for some reason."

"I think they're kind of cute."

"Don't say that to Jace, he'll give you a half hour lecture about how you can't trust them because they are evil and will eat you the first chance they get."

"What will eat you the first chance it gets?" asked Simon as he approached the two of us.

"Ducks." I told him, his face contorted to a look of confusion.

"I'm not even gonna ask." he replied.

"That's probably best. I thought you were hanging out with Isabelle."

"I was until Magnus came and they both started talking about Leonardo DiCaprio for an hour. I couldn't take it anymore." he told us, "is that Angel Sanctuary?" Simon was looking at Max's comic that he'd placed next to him on the grass when we had started talking.

"Yh, why?" Max asked.

"I didn't know you read comics Max. You know I have a whole pile at home that I've been meaning to get rid of, do you want them?" Max was speechless, he acted so mature most of the time I almost forgot how young he actually was. His eyes had lit up with pure joy, just looking at his face made me want to smile. He nodded his head with so much force that I was worried he'd give himself a headache.

"Max, Breathe!" I told him. We all laughed at his reaction. One Max finally calmed down we resumed our conversation. Most of the time we talked about comics and our shared love of them but every once in awhile they'd start telling me some embarrassing stories about Izzy and Jace. I even heard an embarrassing story about Alec even though he seemed to be put together the rest of the time. In return I told them a story or two about Jon but the conversation was never very serious.

I heard about how Isabelle and Simon had first met at school because they were forced to do a project together. At first Simon was so nervous he couldn't form a complete sentence, but Isabelle just thought it was amusing. By the time the project was over they had become close friends so they carried on hanging out until Simon finally worked up the nerve to tell Isabelle how he felt about her. It turned out that she had liked him all along but she didn't want to get hurt so she had waited for him to make the first move.

I also heard about the time Alec had come out to his parents. Despite it being a shock they supported him entirely, even when he came home one day with Magnus and introduced him to them. Of course Isabelle being Isabelle had suspected all along that Alec was gay, but she thought it would be better if he came to terms with it by himself. Jace also had his suspicions, whereas Max had been completely oblivious, wrapped up in his own world of manga and comic books.

He was such a sweet kid, the more I got to know him, the more I liked him. It was obvious that he adored Jace. He loved all of his siblings, but he held Jace in a special sort of light. Despite Max's young age he was very wise, sometime I had to remind myself not to talk to him like a little kid because he was very capable of understanding a lot of things that even adults can't seem to grasp.

"There you are. Everyone's been looking for you guys. Do you know how hard it is to find someone in this massive house?" asked Maia. She was ducking under a long hanging tree branch. Ever since I was a little kid I always dreamed of having a massive tree in my backyard. I loved the idea of being able to sit under it all day and draw, or relax and just enjoy nature.

"Why is everyone looking for us?" Simon asked Maia.

"We've all decided to go in the pool and we were trying to find you to ask if you wanted to join us."

"Sounds good to me." I stated as I started getting up and brushing the grass off my but. I held out a hand each to Simon and Max so that I could help pull them up, being the nice person that I am. "Come on, It'll be fun." They both looked at each other and seemed to exchange a silent conversation before reaching towards my hands. I brushed it off as my imagination just being paranoid, but then they both smiled devilishly before yanking hard on my hands causing me to loose my balance and topple over in the grass. "That's the last time I ever try to be nice." I exclaim.

I picked myself off the floor once again and saw Maya, Simon and Max all laughing hysterically at me. The laughter was contagious and before I knew it we were all laughing as we made our way back to the house.

* * *

"It's about time shortie!" Magnus shouted from inside the pool. I saw both Jon and Jace flinch at his words, obviously they knew what was coming.

"Don't go there Magnus!" Jon tried to warn him, but it was already too late.

"What did you just call me?" I asked Magnus, trying to raise one eyebrow, but failing miserably.

"Come on midget, don't give me that look. You wouldn't hurt a fly." A few people laughed at his words, the only one not laughing were me, Jace and Jon.

"Magnus, she may be…" Jace hesitated because he knew that I hated when people called me short, "vertically challenged, but you don't want to get on the wrong side of her."

"I don't believe you." There was a sparkle in Magnus' eye that told me that he was about to do something that I would probably regret hearing, but I was annoyed at Magnus so I wasn't as scared as I usually would be. "Clary couldn't hurt a fly, I propose a chicken fight!"

"Seriously Magnus?" Simon asked exasperatedly.

"Deadly." He replied, "And just for that, I will beat you first." With a dramatic sigh Simon, Isabelle, Alec and Magnus made their way into the pool.

"Wait a second! Who's gonna judge?" Asked Aline.

By the time we all decided that Max would be the best judge Isabelle had gotten on Simon's shoulders and Alec had gotten on Magnus'.

"Ready?" Max asked. There was a reply of 'Yeah', 'Good to go' and 'Bring it on'. I think the last one came from Isabelle surprisingly. "Go!" With that Isabelle and Alec grabbed ahold of each other's arms as they fought to knock the other off balance. Simon and Magnus were struggling to stay balanced while they fought as well. Alec was obviously strong but Isabelle was golding her own against her brother.

Meanwhile the rest of us were cheering on the side of the pool. I myself was cheering for Simon and Isabelle to win considering the fact that I REALLY wanted Magnus to loose, but I could help but feel guilty for cheering against Alec ho had done nothing wrong to me. Maia and Aline were cheering for Izzy as thy chanted 'Girl Power!' again and again. Jon and Jordan obviously noted the girls' cheering and felt offended for their male friends so they started cheering for Alec and Magnus as loud as they possibly could. Jace seemed to find everything very amusing because I could see him chuckling to himself from the corner of my eye.

I could see it was all over when Alec summoned all his strength in order to push Isabelle as hard as he could, successfully knocking her off balance so much that she plummeted into the water dragging Simon with her. They resurfaced just in time to see Alec and Magnus cheer smugly. "One down!"

Next up was Jon and Aline vs. Jordan and Maia. It was a pretty fair fight between all of them who were very evenly matched, however Jon possessed more strength than Jordan die to his larger stature and was able to shove Jordan enough to cause him to drop Maia. Jordan and Maia were eliminated causing Jon and Aline to start a congratulatory make out session right in front of us all. Much protest was needed to pry the two apart from each other, but eventually they did separate and allow the rest of us to get back to what we were doing before.

Magnus smiled devilishly at my glaring, I was still mad at him for insulting my height and underestimating me. I was determined to show him that I was stronger than I looked, I wanted to prove him wrong and prove to myself that I wasn't completely useless. "Magnus and Alec vs. Jace and Clary." Max announced to us.

I took off my top that I had been wearing on top of my bikini, I was never really one for walking around in my bikini for everyone to see, an made y way towards the pool. I looked around to see where Jace went in the split second that I had turned my back to him, but he was nowhere to be seen. Before I could carry on walking towards the pool I was lifted off the floor and slung over someone's back. I could tell that Jace had been the one to pick me up from the colour of his swimming trunks. Before I knew it we were both in mid air for a split second, I let our a shriek before we broke the surface of the water and were plunged under. When I resurfaced I tackled Jace, but all my efforts to drown him were futile because he was so much stronger than me, why did I think that I could beat Magnus and Alec again? Alec would throw me off in two seconds flat if I was lucky.

Jace just laughed at my poor attempts so I eventually gave up and got on his shoulders. Alec had already gotten on Magnus' shoulders and they were ready to start. "Go!" shouted Max. Alex and I lunged at each other, or what would be a lunge had we not been on top of other peoples' shoulders. I was managing to hold him off, much to my own surprise. Jace and Magnus had also grabbed onto each others arms an were trying to push each other over without loosing their own balance.

I could feel Ale getting the better of me, he was so much stronger than me my only chance to win would be a miracle. Just as he yanked me hard enough to cause me to fall an idea came to me. Quickly I grabbed onto his arm and held on as tightly as I could as I fell. As I dove into the water I could heard a loud splash from right behind me. It had worked!

"-not fair! She fell first!" I heard Magnus complain when I broke the surface of the water.

"It doesn't matter, Alec fell off as well. The only way to break the tie is with round two." Max ruled. Another idea came to me then, I whispered it to Jace who quickly agreed, before mounting his shoulders once again. "Go!" I pretended to reach for Alec, but in the last second Jace moved us both out of the way. Alec and Magnus lunged towards empty air, lost their balance and toppled over into the water.

"Jace & Clary win, next up is Aline & Jon vs. Jace & Clary." Said Max.

"What?!" Magnus screeched as he tried to fix his hair that now looked like a drowned rat was sitting on top of his head.

"You fell in, so they won." Max told him casually.

"We did try to warn you Magnus," said Jon, "never mess with Clary's height." Magnus grumbled an inaudible response while he made his way out of the pool. His grouchiness quickly wore off when Aline and Jon got in the pool and the last fight begun.

Jon and Jace were very evenly matched so there was practically no way to tell which one would win if they were fighting by themselves. Instead, they had Aline and I to help them. Though Aline was storng, my small frame allowed me to push her in a way that both her and Jon to loose balance. At first Jon stumbled and I thought we had won, but he regained his footing quickly. This time though I knew their weak spot, I used this to my advantage and repeated my previous actions, this time though Jace caught on to what I was doing to he pushed Jon at the same time that I shoved Aline. Our combined strength was enough to push Aline from Jon's shoulders and send them both toppling down.

"Jace & Clary are the winners!" Announced Max cheerily. Despite beating Alec and Magnus, they still cheered for us when we eventually won, even Aline and Jon congratulated us when they popped their heads out from under the water. It was decided earlier that Magnus, Alec, Jon and Aline would cook dinner because they cam in second place, while the losers, Simon, Isabelle, Jordan and Maia, would to clean up afterwards. Jace and I didn't have to do anything since we won the game, except pick what we wanted for dinner. For some reason we decided that we wanted curry since we were both craving Indian food, it wasn't the easiest thing to make but we didn't care since we weren't the ones who had to make it.

A small while later everyone was out of the pool and heading in different directions, either to start making dinner or to have showers and try and get the smell of chlorine off of them. I was doing the latter, luckily it didn't take too long and my shower turned out to be quite short. When I was done I felt like spending some time alone after the hectic day that I had, I decided to revisit the garden that I had been to earlier, sure that no one else would be there at this time in the day.

Instead of going to the same tree that I had been at earlier, I managed to find a small bench in front of a pond. There were lights illuminating the pond and the fish inside. Seeing the colours of the fish and the flowers at the brink of twilight brought back all of the memories I had been suppressing earlier of my mother. Everything came rushing back all at once, every memory, every reminder, every moment I ever spent with her that I could remember. I let the tears fall, allowing myself this one moment of weakness before I pulled myself back together.

"You need to find the beauty in everything, it's not always obvious, but it's always there. All you need to do is look a little harder." I didn't need to turn around to see who was there, if I didn't recognise his voice it would have been obvious by what he was saying. Before she died, my mother used to tell us that every day. Jon never really believed it, but I was always so fascinated by the way she saw the world and I wanted to see it through her eyes. By the way she described even the simplest of things, it seemed as though shows seeing a complete different thing to me.

The memories kept appearing, bringing sadness and tears with them, even the happiest of the memories made me feel like someone was reaching inside my chest, clutching my heart with their fist and was slowly squeezing tighter and tighter until my heart would break. Jon had walked over to the bench and sat down next to me. I tried to wipe away my tears, I didn't need him to worry about me any more than he probably already was. He wrapped his arm around me like he always did when I was upset and I lent my head on his shoulder, almost like a reflex.

With his other hand, Jon reached over and grabbed the hand that I was using to wipe away the tears, "It's okay to cry Clare" he whispered, "You don't have to be strong all the time."

"I just…" I started, but the words caught in my throat, replaced my a wracked sob.

"Shhh, I know. It's okay to miss her."

"Do you?" I asked through sniffles.

"Sometimes." He didn't say anymore so we sat there for a while in silence, thinking, just his presence seemed to comfort me. I sat there in Jon's arms reminiscing about the times he'd been there to help me whenever I needed him, until eventually I fell asleep.


	22. Chapter 22

_**I'd rather fall from the 3rd floor instead of the penthouse.**_

* * *

Being at school now that I have friends isn't as bad as it usually is. I mean, I'm still getting these horrible messages in my locker, but I refused to let them bother me, or at least let anyone know if they did bother me. I'd been enough of a problem for everyone already, it was someone else's turn to be the reason for everyone to worry. It was for these reasons that I stuffed the tormenting note that I just found in my locker in my pocket before anyone had the chance to see what it was.

Jace, Isabelle and I were making our way towards the lunch line, we usually got there first since our art class is closer to the canteen than any other class is. Despite getting there in time for the food to still be hot, it still didn't look very appetising. Today it looked like it was meant to be some sort of stew, but god only knew what was in it. I grabbed my plate, not planning on eating any of it and went and sat at the closest table.

In no time at all, everyone else had joined us with a tray full of food and a steady conversation began. I didn't bother to pay attention to any of it as I was still thinking about the words in the note. Why would anyone dedicate their lives to making someone else feel worthless? No matter how many times I re-read the words in my head, or the amount of times I tried to fathom someone else's reasons for doing something I still ended up with nothing but a head-ache.

I was suddenly snapped out of my thought by someone calling my name, "Yeah?"

"I almost forgot," Jon began. "Do you mind if Aline and I take a trip over the weekend?"

"Why would I mind?"

"So it's okay with you?"

"Sure, go ahead. Have fun." I replied to Jonathan. After that I returned to my thoughts while everyone else continued with their mindless conversation. For some reason I just didn't feel like it today. No one seemed to notice me daydreaming, at least I didn't think anyone noticed.

* * *

"Jace stop!" I whisper shouted to him. If he didn't stop trying to tickle me I would smack him in front of our whole english class and then would definitely notice us. Why did he have to be so infuriatingly annoying? But I couldn't stay mad at him for long, the smile on his face was enough to melt the devils heart. I quickly glanced over to only to find him completely oblivious to Jace's shenanigans. was still trying to organise hiss notes for the class.

Before long he was ready to begin the class, "Alright, I have decided to give you an assignment. Now this will count for twenty five percent of your grade so take care with it. I don't want anything done last minute." He said, looking directly at Jace despite him never handing in a piece of homework late before. Jace was right, definitely hated him. As if reading my ind he looked over to me and gave me a look that said 'I told you so'. "In pairs, I want you all to create a five minute presentation on the topic writen on the piece of paper that I will give you once you have paired up. You have a month to complete this presentation before presenting it to the rest of your class."

Jace and I didn't even have to look at each other to know that we were going to be partners. Once everyone was organised came around to each group and handed them a slip of paper. Some people seemed pleased with their topic while others looked as if their pet fish had just died. Eventually made it over to our table and placed the last paper he had on it for us. I picked it up and examined the question, while Jace leaned over my shoulder to read it. "Explore how the war has physically and mentally affected soldiers using the characters of Burns- from the novel 'Regeneration'- and Stanhope- from the play 'Journey's End'- as examples."

Jace's voice trailed off as he read the question and by the time he was finished his face was worth a thousand words. I couldn't help but let a laugh escape my mouth, his reaction was hilarious, he was clueless. He took my laughter as an insult and decided to start tickling me again. Too consumed with laughter I was unable to fight back, and the more he tickled me the more I tried to squirm away but it was useless, I was too engulfed in laughter for my own good. Jace stopped when started to glare at the two of us, apparently his hatred for Jace had now spread to me.

Then I decided it was time to be serious, "Judging from your reaction we really need to hurry with this assignment and get started as soon as possible." I suggested.

"How can we start when I have no clue what we're even supposed to be doing. What kind of question IS this?" he stated pointing to the piece of paper on the table.

"Why don't you come over to my house after school on Friday, Jon will be on his trip with Aline by then so we can have the house all to ourselves."

"Is this your way of inviting me over so that you can take advantage of me? I thought you were better than that Clary. Shame on you." Jace mocked.

"Oh shut up." I joked back, "If anyones going to be taken advantage of it will probably be me."

"You insult me. I am a man of honour and I would never." Jace mocked hurt. We continued on like that, exchanging insults for the rest of the class while everyone else started to prepare their presentations.

* * *

Jon and Aline left school early on Friday so that they could get an early start on their road trip. It's not like they were missing much anyway, Jon was skipping P.E while Aline was missing Biology. Apparently Jordan was going to get the notes from class for her, I wasn't really sure if that was a very good idea as it would require Aline to be able to read Jordan's handwriting, something even harder to decipher than ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics.

I jiggled my keys in the lock, forcing it to open for me. The door finally swung open, squeaking as it did so. I walked into the house and placed by bag on the floor next to the sofa where Jace and I would be working. He followed my example and we both made our way into the kitchen. Of course no study session would be complete without some snacks. Once we had everything we went back into the living room and sat on the couch.

"Is this the part were you take advantage of me?" Jace mumbled through a mouthful of food. I was so surprised by his reference to our conversation from earlier on in the week that I was unable to think of a witty comeback in time so I decided to grab the nearest thing to me, which luckily happened to be a pillow, and threw it at him with all the force I could muster. "So that's how it's going to be, your on!" He replied as he easily dodged my missile, just like that we entered into a full on pillow war and I was determined to not let him win this one.

Just once I wanted to beat his smug ass and show that his holier than thou attitude could get him into more trouble than he thought. Although wanting to beat him and actually doing it were two completely different concepts, Jace was faster and stronger than me however I was smaller than him therefore I was a smaller target, thus harder to hit. I used this to my advantage as I scrambled around the living room, trying to make it as hard as possible for him to hit me. Meanwhile he stayed on the sofa where all the ammunition/pillows were.

I realised that there was a flaw to my plan as I was quickly running out of things to throw at him that wouldn't give him a concussion. I decided to change my tactics and dove towards Jace with a pillow in hand both to protect myself and so attack with. Not expecting my sudden change of plans I caught Jace off guard and slammed the pillow into his face. Up until that point he had apparently been going easy on me because he suddenly decided that he wanted to win so he pinned me to the sofa. His fingers were gently but firmly wrapped around my wrists, pinning my arms to my sides while he was sitting on my legs, rendering them utterly useless.

He leaned his head down towards mine, a few strands of his hair brushing against my cheek as he whispered into my ear the words "I win". Then he leaned back so that he look into my eyes once again. When his face was fully in my vision again I could see the smirk on his face that just made me want to prove him wrong more than anything else in the world. I tried my best to wriggle out of his grip but he managed to keep me in place with such ease without actually hurting me either. "Do you concede?" he asked.

"Never!" I replied, determined to not give in. I immediately regretted my words as I saw an evil glint in his eyes that told me that he was thinking of something that i would absolutely hate. In one swift move he moved both my arms above my head so that he could hold my wrists with just one hand. With his newly freed hand he started to tickle me relentlessly. My whole body jerked as I squirmed from laughter and my futile attempts to make him stop. Unable to do anything to stop his torture I did the only thing that I could, "Stop!… Stop!" I gasped between breaths, "I give in… I give in. Just stop… tickling… me!".

"That wasn't too hard now, was it?" he mocked me.

I ignored his comment, "Are you going to get off of me?" This seemed to please him as his grin grew impossibly larger.

"No, I don't think I will. I quite like it like this."

"Get off of me Jace." I demanded.

"Nope."

"Jace!" He seemed to consider for a moment before replying.

"Only… if we can watch a film before we start on the english project." he told me. I wanted to disagree, to tell him that we really should get started and that we had wasted enough time as it was. But another voice inside my head was telling me that his request wasn't the worst thing in the world, and to be perfectly honest I DID want to watch a film with him. I wanted to sit on the sofa with him, eating popcorn while some film played on the TV. Not to mention that fact that I didn't really have much choice since he had me pinned down.

"Fine, but I get to pick the film." I told him, trying to turn the tables and take some power back.

"Are you sure you're in the right place to be making demands?" he asked me with a knowing smile on his face. We both knew the answer to that question, he took my silence as an answer and released me. I walked back into the kitchen and began to make popcorn while Jace got the film ready for us to watch. When I walked back into the living room Jace was sitting on the sofa with a blanked ready for us and the remote to the tv in his hand. I took my place next to him, he wrapped the blanket around the both of us and pressed a button on the remote that played the film.

Some time during the film I had managed to end up lying down on the sofa with my head on Jace's lap. He was gently stroking my hair in a soothing motion. "Clary?"

"Hmmm?" I hummed, too relaxed to actually form a complete sentence.

"Are you okay?" surprised by his question I turned my head so that I could look at his face. His eyes were filled with concern and he honestly looked like he was worried about me.

"Yh, I'm fine. Why?" I asked, trying to understand were his sudden worry came from.

"You've just been really quiet in school recently and when you don't think anyone is looking you get these looks on your face like your about to burst into tears or you just zone out completely at times. I wanted to ask you before but it feels like we never really get any time alone and I didn't think you would talk about it if we were around other people." I thought I had been doing so well at hiding my feelings at school but Jace had seen it, he had seen it all. I couldn't burden him with anything else, he was already too worried about me as it was, what with Sebastian and everything that happened with him.

Not wanting to add anything else to his plate I decided to lie. "Really? I never really noticed. I've just been a bit distracted lately, thinking about my mum." I knew it was really bad of me to use my mum as an excuse, but I couldn't think of anything else that he would believe. As soon as the words came out of my mouth I felt guilty, but I couldn't take them back without him knowing something was up. "I don't really want to talk about it." I told him, trying to get him to drop the subject.

"I get it, If you wanna talk about it you know I'm always here right?"

"I know and thank you." I replied, the genuine concern on his face was unbearable. I hated lying to him but it was better than telling him the truth. I turned back to the TV and pretended to watch the film, but I couldn't actually concentrate on anything with the guilt that I carried plaguing my mind.

* * *

JON POV

"Take a right turn here." Aline told me, she was in charge of directions while I drove the car. We had been driving for about an hour now and I was starting to feel the strain of it. Aline and I had decided to take a trip over the weekend so that we could spend some time together before the end of our senior year. We hadn't officially decided on what we were going to do after we graduated but there was no guarantee that we would still be in the same place. "You know, I was thinking-"

"That's never good." I joked.

Aline gave me a light punch in the arm, not enough to cause me to swerve the car or anything, before she married on talking. "I was thinking about how much time we have left before we graduate. It's really not that far away, maybe a month or two."

"Yh, I know. How has the year gone by so quickly? It feels like just yesterday that I surprised Clary at that party and told her that I was gonna be staying here for the rest of the year. I remember the look on her face, it was so weird. She was obviously happy, but I could also see that she was… I don't know how to explain it."

"At least she's alright now. I remember when we first met, and when Clary and I had our first conversation despite your best efforts." I tried not to get annoyed at the memory of Clary looking through my phone. That girl never knew how to respect my things or even my privacy. "I also remember our first date." Aline continued.

"Didn't we go to that restaurant? The one close to the school?" I asked, recalling the memory.

"No-" Aline tried to interrupt but I kept going, the memory coming back to me more clearly.

"We did, and then I walked you back to your house. I think that was the best date I ever had." I looked over to Aline, not expecting scowl that she had on her face and the glare that pierced right to my very soul.

"That wasn't our first date." she told me.

"Okay, then it must have been our second date or something."

"No Jon, you don't get it. That wasn't our date. I wasn't there, you never did that with me."

"Oh."

"Is that all you have to say for yourself? Oh? It's not the fact that you forgot our fist date, or the fact that you said that that was the best date you ever had, it's the fact that you actually thought it was me there. What the hell is wrong with you? I know how good your memory is, how many girls do you need to go out with in order to start forgetting who you took on which date?"

"I'm sorry, it was a mistake, but don't act like you've never forgotten anything either. You forget stuff all the time."

* * *

J POV

About halfway through the film Clary had fallen asleep on my lap, her soft breathing turned even and her eyes had fluttered shut. The film had ended about an hour ago, but I didn't want to wake her up, she seemed to be stressed out lately and needed to sleep. It also helped that I didn't want to work on that stupid english project, why did we even have to do it anyway? I didn't want to be a writer so why did I need to analyse all of these old boring books. I would much rather spend my time doing something that I enjoyed instead.

I had been sitting on the sofa, stroking Clary's hair- I had tried to stop a few times but every time that I did she would stir as if she were about to wake up- thinking about what she had said earlier about being distracted about her mother. I knew what that was like more than I wanted to, I hated to think about things like that but it was harder than it seemed.

All of the popcorn that we had enjoyed during the film had made me unbearably thirsty, I had trying putting off getting a glass of water for as long as possible for fear of waking Clary up but I couldn't put it off any longer, I NEEDED to have something to drink. I tried to get up as quietly as possible but before I could even get her head off of my lap I managed to knock Clary's bag over with my foot, successfully spilling a load of papers all over the floor. Using my foot I managed to gather up all of the papers pretty easily, I leaned down and gathered them all in my hands, Just as I was about to put them back in her back, one particular thing caught my eye. I pulled it out of the pile and placed the rest of the papers back in Clary's bag.

I couldn't help myself, I knew it was wrong to read something from Clary's bag but something about it made me think that I had to read it or I'd regret it. Upon closer inspection I realised that it was more than once piece of paper, there were a few of them all clumped together. I started reading the one that looked the oldest.

 **Dear loser,**

 **I'm sorry this has to be in note form but I realised that I hadn't reminded you of how unimportant you are in a while and I didn't have the time to tell you to your face, so this note will have to do for now. At least this way you can keep the note so you can remember how no one in this school likes you, no, how much they HATE you. Why do you even bother coming in to school? Huh? You have no friends. You have no life. You have nothing. The only use you have here is a source of entertainment for the rest of us, but you can't even do that right seen as your boring most of the time. Just drop out already, or better yet, DROP DEAD.**

 **Signed K.**

I couldn't believe what I'd just read, how could anyone say something like that, especially to Clary? I skipped a few piece of paper and looked at the one that seemed to be the most recent.

 **Dear loser,**

 **I saw your sad excuse of a performance at school, and I have to say it was hilarious. You think people were cheering for you? They weren't, they were cheering because you were so pathetic everyone found it so funny. You don't have a shred of talent and all you did by going on that stage was embarrass yourself. At least now instead of being so boring your actually serving your purpose and entertaining us. I can't wait to see how badly you mess up and embarrass yourself at the talent contest, I don't even know why you entered because you have NO TALENT.**

 **Signed K.**

When I finished reading the letter I noticed that my knuckled had gone white from the clenching my fists so hard, I almost ripped the paper in half. My vision was turning red I was so mad, it took all of my effort to clam down enough to not smash something, though I still felt the urge to do so. How had Clary not told me about any of this? Did she not trust me? Did she think I couldn't handle it?

* * *

C POV

I opened my eyes slowly, expecting to see Jace's angelic face, but instead he looked as if he was in pain but also wanted to kill someone with his bare hands, "Jace?" I asked concern lacing my voice. He looked down at me, but didn't answer me. I pushed myself up from his lap, "What's wr-?" my eyes adjusted and I saw that he was holding two pieces of paper in his hands. I recognised the scribbled handwriting and the harsh words. For a moment we sat there in silence, neither one of us knowing what to say. I could see the tensions rippling through his body, the anger was rolling off of him in waves, though I couldn't tell if he was angry at the letters or at me. "I know I should have told you, but-"

"But what Clary? But you didn't trust me? But you didn't think I would care? Which one is it?" His voice was harsh, filled with venom. He crumpled up the pieced of paper in his hands and threw them towards my bag.

"I… I…" My brain couldn't string together one sentence.

"You what?"

"I didn't want you to know, because then you'd try and convince me it wasn't true."

"You're not honestly telling me that you believe the rubbish in those letters."

"Why shouldn't I believe them? They're right, I don't even know why you like me, you could have anyone you wanted. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be better."

"But they will never be you. Can't you see how amazing you are? Of course you can't because you've let others convince you that your not. Butterflies can't see their wings, they can't see how beautiful they are, but everyone else can. You're like that. You can't see how much better you make everything."

"Stop saying things that aren't true."

"Why won't you believe me? What can I do to convince you that what I'm saying is true?"

"Nothing, you can't do anything."

Just then the door swung open and in stormed Jon. Unlike me, who had been distracted with seeing Jon after expecting him to be on the road with Aline, Jace was still focused on our argument. "Why, because you don't trust me?"

"That's not-" I was interrupted by Jon who seemed to notice that something was going on between Jace and I.

"What's going on here?"

Jace, seeming to ignore Jon's question carried on with our argument, "Does Jon know?"

Jon's interest peeked at this statement, "Does Jon know what?" he asked talking in third person about himself. They both looked at me expectantly, Jon looking for an explanation of what we were talking about while Jace wanted to know the answer to his question but finding his answer in my silence.

"Clary's been-"

"Jace don't." I tried to stop him but he just ignored my protest and carried on walking anyway.

"Clary's been getting letters telling her that she has no talent, that she's useless and that she should drop dead. The worst part is that she actually believes it all no matter what I say." There was a long silence while Jon digested all of the information that he had just received. "I thought we were closer than that Clary, I thought that we could tell each other things like this. I guess not." With those words Jace gathered his stuff and stormed out of the house leaving Jon and I alone. I wanted to go after him but I still had Jonathan to deal with.

* * *

 _ **I have been dying to post for ages but I promised myself not to until I had a few chapter written in advanced. I'm gonna try and post a chapter every week if I can, we'll have to see how that goes. I know I keep saying it but I want to thank everyone that has supported me up until now. It truly means the world to me.**_

 _ **A quick thank you to ICanExplain for correcting this for me. -M**_


	23. Chapter 23

_**Songs for this chapter: Good for you (Selena Gomez) -When the girls are getting ready to go out.**_

 _ **Tiësto & KSHMR - Secrets (feat. Vassy) (Lyrics) (HD)- Club music**_

 _ **Paul van Dyk - I Don't Deserve You (Seven Lions Remix).- Music after Alec talks.**_

* * *

It had been two days since Jace and I had last talked, come to think of it Jon and I hadn't talked either since our argument. At least we weren't the only ones in an argument, apparently Jon and Aline got into a massive fight before they were even halfway through their road trip.

I was now at Isabelle's house along with Maia, Aline and Magnus. Isabelle was convinced that since we were all arguing with our boyfriends (excluding Magnus) that we should have a night out, just the five of us.

"I can't believe Simon, he doesn't notice anything. The other day I told him this huge important story and then I found out after that he wasn't even listening to me, he was thinking about some Star Wars thing." Isabelle explained.

"At least he's not accusing you of cheating. Jordan is convinced that there's something going on between me and Bat. We're just friends, if anything Bat is like my brother." Maia joined in.

Everyone seemed to be comparing boyfriend problems now, "That's not as bad as your boyfriend mistaking you for someone else. Jordan's behaviour is extreme but it does show that he cares." said Aline. "You're so lucky Magnus, you and Alec never fight, ever."

"All couples fight, Alec and I are just a special case. It's normal for guys to be idiots, you just have to let them figure that out for themselves." I didn't feel like talking about my argument with Jace because then I would have had to tell everyone what it was about. They only knew that Jace and I weren't talking but they didn't know why. I wasn't ready to tell everyone yet.

"Clary, we're gonna go to Pandemonium tonight." Isabelle told me, "Come on, We're gonna do each other's make up and stuff. It will be fun." No one pushed me to talk about my argument with Jace, they all respected my privacy and for that I was grateful. Isabelle walked over to her laptop and started clicking, a minute later music started to blast out of her speakers. This is what I needed, I needed one night to forget about everything that had happened. I was determined to enjoy myself, even if it was the last thing I ever did.

We danced around the room, trying on clothes and testing out make up. Aline was doing Maia's make-up at Isabelle's vanity mirror while I was trying to talk Isabelle and Magnus out of the clothes they wanted to put me in. Eventually I gave in and let them put me in a black lace bodycon dress with scalloped detailing, ¾ length sleeves and a cut out back. As well as this they put me in a pair of super high heels, an embellished clutch bag and a bright piece necklace that Magnus said "finished the look".

The dress was beautiful it had all- over sheer lace overlay with jersey slip, a scoop round neckline and a stunning exposed back. It was pretty easy to get on considering it didn't have a zip or any fastenings. Despite the dress being beautiful I didn't feel very comfortable in it. It was a bodycon fit, something only confident girls with hourglass figures can get away with. Even if I did feel okay in the dress, the heels were so tall I could barely walk in them. I was practically hanging onto Isabelle for support for dear life.

Isabelle looked as beautiful as ever, she was dressed in a wine coloured flowing maxi length dress. It had lace sleeves and reached to just above her knees. She wore a long necklace and a few rings to accessorise. Maia was dressed in a celeste blue adele strappy peplum dress. She had a chunky gold necklace and wore heels the same shade of blue as her dress. Aline wore an ava embellished front strappy sweetheart midi dress. It was white but it had black sequins sewn in intricate designs all over. The dress reached to just above her knees just like Isabelle's. Aline only wore one ring, she said it was because she wasn't a big fan of accessories.

Magnus was wearing a pair of trousers made out of material designed to look like grey bricks. He wore black boots that were so shiny I could actually see my reflection in them. He wore a shirt with the same design as his trousers with a striped blazer and black suspenders that hung loose at his hips. To finish off his look he wore a black bowler hat over his spiky hair. After a few hours we were all ready to go to Pandemonium and forget all of our problems for one night.

* * *

J POV

"I don't understand what I did wrong, Maia is the one who's cheating on me." Jordan complained.

"Did you see her cheating on you?" Alec inquired.

"Well, not exactly, but I just know she is. No guy just wants to be friends with a girl."

"You're an idiot. You're all idiots!" Alec said addressing Jordan, Jon, Simon and I. "I mean, Jordan, Maia is obviously head over heals for you, it's obvious that the way she looks at you and the way she looks at Bat are completely different. She's, not, cheating, on, you. Simon, I swear to god if you don't start paying more attention to what my sister is saying rather than those science fiction characters of yours she will do a lot more than break up with you. Jon, how could you not think mistaking Aline with another girl isn't a big deal? You practically told her that she wasn't any different to any other girlfriend you've ever had. And Jace," Alec turned to look at me then, " I have no idea what the hell is going on between you and Clary, I sure as hell don't know why neither you or Jon haven't spoken a word to her, but it's obvious that you two were meant for each other. I've never seen you happier than when you are around her. Don't let something that can probably be fixed with time and patience ruin the best thing that ever happened to you." I thought Alec was finished then, but then he turned back to Jon, "For god's sakes Jonathan, you not only managed to piss off one girl, but two all in one day. I don't know whether to give you an award or slap you. Clary's your sister, whatever it is that she did to piss you off, get over it. I can't count the amount of time Isabelle has pissed me or Jace off."

We were all shocked at Alec's outburst, he wasn't usually the kind of person to be so forthcoming about his thoughts. I guess we must have pushed him to his breaking point. Either that or he's sick of all of us moping around, I know I am. So what if Clary didn't tell me about the stupid letters, she was probably afraid that I would act exactly like I did. Or maybe she was thinking something else, whatever it is, she probably had a good reason for not showing me. I was so mad at her for not trusting me, but then I didn't trust that she would have shown me when she was ready. I didn't trust that she wouldn't do anything to intentionally hurt me. Alec was right, I was and idiot, and I didn't have a clue on how I could make it up to Clary.

I was snapped out of my epiphany by the ping of Alec's phone, "Magnus just texted me. He and the girls are going out to Pandemonium."

"Pandemonium, as in the club where every guy in our school goes in order to hit on girls?" Simon asked.

"I'm going over there." I told them as I picked up my jacket and headed towards the door.

Alec grabbed my arm and stopped me mid stride. "Jace wait, you can't just storm over and expect everything to be alright."

"I can't just wait for some random stranger to hit on my girlfriend."

"If you go over and punch the first guy that looks at Clary, she'll probably never talk to you again."

"What else am I supposed to do?"

"I have an idea, but you're not going to like it."

* * *

C POV

I let myself get lost in the beat of the music, let it flow through me and drive my every move. For so long I felt like I was drowning, then my life turned into a rollercoaster, but in this moment, in this moment I was liberated, in this moment I was free to do anything I wanted to. The feeling was euphoric.

People surged around me, their skin on mine, I could feel the heat of the crowd as it surged all around me. I vaguely registered Isabelle, Maia, Aline and Magnus around me. Every once in awhile I would spot them somewhere on the dance floor, but I was too busy getting lost in my own world to pay much attention. I was having so much fun, even the killer heels that Isabelle and Magnus put me in weren't enough to ruin my mood.

All of my pent up frustration was leaking out of my body, all of that energy being released with every move. I couldn't get enough of it, it was like a drug and I was hooked. Nothing could tear me apart from this feeling, I wouldn't let them. Despite all of this, my heart was still throbbing in the background, never letting me be fully released. It took all of my power to shove my feelings down and let the beating of my heart be drowned out by the music that was blasting from the speakers in every direction.

When the music hit it's peak I threw my hands up into the air, looked up to the ceiling and screamed as the rest of the crowd roared. The noise was so loud that I could barely hear myself laugh at the relief of letting it all go. Everything that was dragging me down, my fear, my worries, everything. I let it all go, unable to carry it any longer without being crushed.

When the song finally ended, my thoughts were clouded until I realised that the next song should have started. I looked around and could see that I wasn't the only one confused at the sudden change.

"Ladies and gentlemen," I knew that voice, my searching became more frantic, looking for the person that was speaking. In my search I managed to spot Maia and Aline standing together, we held eye contact briefly before I carried on searching. Then I saw Isabelle, standing with a crowd of boys surrounding her, looking over at Magnus who was next to the bar. Finally my thought were confirmed when Alec, of all people, stood up on stage next to the DJ and carried on talking into a mic. "better yet, ladies, since the beginning of time men have been idiots. This should make up for it."

Music started to play as Alec jumped off of the stage and walked over to Magnus who was now beaming. Everyone looked as confused as I felt until someone walked on stage. The shadows made it so that we couldn't see their face as they walked towards the centre and stopped facing away from he crowd. Then another figure joined them and did the same thing, then another and then finally one more until there were four of them up on stage.

For a while they just stood there, but then the first person turned around and started dancing. A spotlight shone on their face, and I could see that it was Jordan. In turn, one by one the figures turned around and started dancing before freezing and allowing the next one to continue. Jordan was followed by Simon, then Jonathan and finally Jace. Once Jace was finished they all danced together, I couldn't help but cheer along with the rest of the crowd. The boys were amazing and all of my anger from earlier slowly melted away as I saw them all there right in front of me.

When Jon jumped off stage I wasn't surprised to see that he walked straight over to Aline and carried on dancing right in front of her. She looked mostly mortified to be the centre of attention, but I could see in her eyes that she too had forgiven Jon. I looked back over to the stage and saw that the rest of the boys had disappeared. Simon was now dancing with Isabelle and Jordan with Maia, but Jace was nowhere to be found. I searched the crowd but I couldn't find him anywhere.

The words "I'm so sorry" where whispered in my ear, I turned around and found myself in his embrace where I belonged. I looked up into his amber eyes, even in my heels Jace still towered over me, and saw that he meant every word of it. The euphoria from earlier took over my body and I pulled his head down to mine and kissed him. By now the whole crowd had returned to dancing, their bodies brushing against ours, but I didn't care. The only thing I did care about was the person right in front of me. Everything around us just vanished and I felt Jace all around me. When I finally broke away for air I looked at his face, unable to form any words after what had just happened between the two of us.

"I'm guessing that means I'm forgiven." he said with a sly grin. I tried to shove him away playfully but he just held me close and began to sway to the music. I'm not sure how long we spent in Pandemonium that night, dancing together, but I couldn't thank the universe enough for giving me this moment.

* * *

 _ **As promised here's the next chapter, hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. Please tell me what you think in a review, I love reading every single one of them. -M**_


	24. Chapter 24

It was finally lunch, my stomach had been rumbling since I left the house this morning. I may have forgotten to eat breakfast after I overslept. Jon was no help, he didn't even bother to wake me up, even though he knew I was still asleep. Sometimes that boy can really get on my nerves.

I grabbed my tray and headed over to an empty table ready to slay the beast that was my stomach. Just as I was about to dig into my food Izzy scared me half to death causing me to drop my fork back onto the plate.

"You'll never guess what just happened."

"What?"

"Guess."

"You just said I wouldn't be able to."

Maia walked casually up to our table, obviously knowing what Isabelle had to say, "Just tell her Izzy, or we'll be here forever."

"You two take the fun out of everything." Izzy said exasperated. She quickly regained her excited tone and carried on, "The talent show has been postponed another month."

"Why are you happy about that?" I asked.

"You didn't let me finish, I'm happy because the reason it has been postponed is because the school found someone to sponsor the contest. The winner will get a load of prize money."

"I thought you couldn't perform Iz." I inquired, still feeling very confused.

"That's another thing, now they've said that more people can enter with different talents including me. But I still haven't told you the best part yet, they've also added a contest for partners. Even if you've already entered as a solo performer you can compete again as a duo or group."

I didn't know what to say, it all sounded so surreal. How could our school manage to get this done? Who was this amazing sponsor? The possibilities raced through my head. Should I enter the contest for groups? If so, who would I perform with?

"What have you done to my girlfriend Izzy? Jace asked as he walked up to our table with a tray of food in his hands.

"I think she's frozen." Maia answered.

"Why do you assume it was me? Maybe it was Maia's fault." Isabelle retorted.

"Because you're my sister Iz, and I know what effect you can have on people." Izzy responded by throwing a handful of chips towards Jace, sadly her aim was awful and she ended up throwing some at my face as well.

"Hey!" I responded picking chips out of my hair.

"There, she's all fixed. You're welcome." Isabelle said smugly.

* * *

Chemistry was probably my most hated subject, not only did I not understand a thing, but it was also the only class where Sebastian was in it with me. Usually I could just ignore him but today seemed to be different. After everything that had happened recently I just had this eerie feeling that he was more dangerous than ever.

I tried to concentrate on anything else other than him, but it was hard when he spent the whole time staring at me like I was for sale or something. My whole body was covered in goosebumps that refused to go away. The seconds couldn't pass by fast enough, the clock slowly ticked, mocking me. Every second felt like an infinity that would never end.

It didn't help that the teacher was droning on about some chemicals and their properties. Why did I even need chemistry, it's not like I wanted to become a scientist or something. I would honestly rather do anything but have my life revolve around chemistry.

Sebastian eyes roamed over my body again and again, I felt so violated by his glance. It was like I could tell he was undressing me in his mind. All I wanted to do was run out of the door as soon as the bell went, maybe even sooner. Every minute that went past, the more nervous I became, the more scared I got. I had to get out of there, I just had to. Kit felt like I was suffocating, drowning all over again. My lungs were restricting and all my fears came back at once.

I was so lost in my own thoughts that when the bell went I jump out of my seat. As fast as I could I threw my stuff in my bag and ran out of the room. I didn't know where I was going, just that I had to get far away. Shoving past people, I made my way through the school, not caring how rude I was being. The further I got, the more my fears began to dissipate. Too focused on getting away, I didn't notice when I ran straight into a pair of arms, nearly sending both of us flying.

"Clary? Clary, what's wrong?" I ignored the words and focused on the soothing voice. Forcing my body to stop shaking while the all too familiar embrace calmed me down.

* * *

I walked slowly towards the old and rusty gate. It had been a while since I had last come to this sad place. I didn't like coming here often because every time that I did come, I always ended up leaving in tears, but this time was different,this time I wasn't alone. We walked together, passing the tombstones until we reached the one I was looking for.

We stood there for a few minutes in silence with our hands intertwined. I didn't want to break the fragile silence that had somehow been created. Eventually I opened my mouth to speak, but no sound came out. Instead of talking, I decided to look at the name written on the tombstone, the name of my mother.

"The first year, you think about it every day. You relive it. It doesn't matter what you do. You can't get it out of your head. People tell you it's part of God's plan. Maybe they're right, but it doesn't stop you from wanting to punch them in the face every time they say it." Jace started to say. "Then time passes, two, three years. Maybe you even start to feel normal. Maybe you start to believe that maybe this thing won't actually scar you for the rest of your life. But then one day, something reminds you. A song or a smell. And it touches that nerve and all of a sudden, it's the day you got that news all over again."

I already knew that Jace had lost his parents when he was young, but this was the first time that he had talked about it since we had met. I wanted to ask him about his parents, but I was scared that if I did Jace would stop talking about it. While I debated with myself what I should say Jace started to talk again.

"They died when I was ten. It was enough time for me to get to know them, but not enough for them to be able to see any of my accomplishments. They died in a car crash, because of some drunk driver. The driver only had a small head injury while both my parents died." I squeezed Jace's hand in order to show him my support without interrupting him. "They didn't get to see me with my first girlfriend, or watch me learn to drive,they're not even going to see me graduate."

Knowing that Jace had finished talking, I finally decided to say something. "I miss her, more than I thought possible. It's been a few years, but each day when I wake up in the morning I forget for just a second that she's no longer in my life. But then I remember and I feel like someone has reached into my chest and is ripping out my heart. I miss her every day when I look at my brother,I miss her when I look at her artwork, but I miss her the most when I look in the mirror because I look more like her than I do my father."

Without noticing, a single tear had escaped my eye and was now falling down my cheek. I quickly wiped my cheeks with the back of my free hand. I didn't like to cry, I especially didn't like other people to see me crying. For one thing it was because I knew that when I cried my eyes went red and I looked like a mess, but it was also because mostly I didn't want anyone else's sympathy. I didn't need it.

"She'd be proud of you." Jace told me.

"How would you know?" I asked while I tried with all my strength not to cry.

"Because any person would be proud to have you as a daughter." We stayed there for a while, trapped in our thoughts. The sun started to set and eventually disappeared behind the horizon.

After a while I broke the silence, "Jon always used to tell me it was like phantom pain,you know, when someone looses a limb they still feel pain from where it's supposed to be. He used to say that the thing that's missing is the thing you feel the most. I think that's why I always tried to distance myself from other people because I always felt like they were going to leave anyway."

"I'm not going anywhere." And for that he would never know how grateful I was.

* * *

 _ **I'm sorry about the wait, I honestly tried to keep the updates regular but I forgot and I've been really distracted with school lately. Anyway, what did you think of the chapter? Did you like it, hate it? Please leave a review telling me how I can make them better. I also want to know how you feel about the tv series Shadowhunters getting renewed for season 2. Is it just me or have the episodes slowly been getting better throughout the season despite not really meeting my expectations in the beginning? -M**_


	25. Chapter 25

_**WARNING: Dark themes and ideas are present in this chapter.**_

* * *

Since we had so much fun at Pandemonium last week, we all decided to go again this week. It was a good decision too because we all had loads of fun. I remember spending half the night dancing with Jace and then with the rest of the girls as Izzy instead on dancing even more despite the rest of us being exhausted. Despite having so much fun, it could never live up to last week. I think it was because I wasn't expecting anything so when it turned out to be a great night it felt so amazing.

The one downfall about last night was that I managed to forget my phone in the club. I don't even know how I did that, it's usually always with me. That meant that I had to go back to Pandemonium on my Saturday and hope that the club wasn't closed. Luckily for me it wasn't and I found my phone pretty easily. It was on the table where we were all sat last night. It was a miracle no one had stolen it since it was out in the open like that.

I left the club and was on my way back home when something yanked me by the arm and into an alleyway. I looked at what was yanking at my arm an saw that it was someone's hand. My gaze followed the arm all the way up to the face. Before I had time to react I felt a sudden pain on my head and then my whole body relaxed and I was swallowed by the darkness.

* * *

Slurred shouts filled my head, then a pounding ache coming from my left temple that made me feel like my skull was two sizes too small. My body hurt all over. I tried to concentrate on understanding the voices but the harder I tried, the harder it became. I realised that my pounding head probably had something to do with it.

I strained to remember what happened and how I got here, when the voices began to get clearer and I managed to make out the end of a conversation.

"-waiting outside like an idiot."

I didn't really recognise the voice but by then I had started to remember a bit despite the excruciating headache. I remembered going back to the club, I remembered seeing Sebastian and I remembered the darkness that followed almost immediately after seeing his face.

I tried to open my eyes but it was too dark to make out anything but shadows. Panic started to overwhelm me and I struggled to sit up from the hard concrete floor that I was lying against. I tried to move my hands so that I could push myself up but some sort of hard plastic was cutting into my skin, holding my wrists together behind my back. Despite the pain I yanked at my wrists, attempting to free myself. A warm liquid, I could only assume it was blood, started to trickle down my wrists and covered my fingers.

"Sleeping beauty awakens." said a voice from behind me, before I had a chance to reply, hands appeared from behind me and secured a piece of duct tape over my mouth. I tried to struggle but the person was too strong and my body hurt all over, not to mention I had my wrists tied behind my back.

My heart was beating so hard, I was worried it would actually burst out of my chest any second. I heard footsteps originate from behind me and make their way around my body. A pair of shoes came into my line of sight, and the person they belonged to bent down so that they were crouching in front of me.

"We wouldn't want you screaming for help now would we? We haven't even had a chance to talk yet." Sebastian mocked. It was official, this was the most scared I had ever been in my entire life. All I wanted to do was wake up and realise that this was another one of my nightmares, ironically nothing would make me happier than realising this nightmare was just a dream. "And the other guests haven't even arrived yet." he continued as he pulled something out of his pocket. I squinted my eyes and realised that he was clutching my phone in his hand.

"I know you're wondering what's going on, but I guess you'll just have to wait for your two little saviours to get here before I explain anything. God knows I hate repeating myself." Sebastian looked up past me and nodded to something behind me. I almost jumped out of my skin when I was harshly pulled to my feet by someone else. Sebastian leaned his head in close to mine and whispered in my ear so that only I could hear, "The first guest has arrived. I guess it's time for the party to start." He grabbed hold of my arm and started to pull me out of the dark room we were in.

We walked into a large room that appeared to be under construction. There was a square shaped hole in the wall that looked like it was meant to be a window, except it held no glass, it was just a hole in the wall. The entire room was made out of concrete, there were a few sheets of plastic hanging from the walls and some were even on the floor. Piece of rubble were scattered around the floor and there were a few pipes along the ceiling coming from one wall and disappearing in another.

Sebastian stopped us after we took a fews steps into the room. The lack of lighting did nothing to illuminate the room, but from where we were standing we were able to see almost everything pretty well. Two people, obviously the one's having the conversation earlier, walked past Sebastian and I towards the other end of the room before returning back to behind us. Rafael and Meliorn, I didn't know them too well, but I recognised them from school.

I could feel Sebastian pulling something out from behind him, the next thing I knew there was cold hard metal pressing against my neck. "Just in case you get any ideas." Sebastian whispered in my ear. By this point I was almost sure my heart had stopped completely. I could barely hear a thing over the blood rushing in my ears until I was able to hear light footsteps approaching. Jace rounded the corner, but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw me.

"What the-" he started, only to be cut off abruptly by Sebastian.

"Jace, I'm so glad you could make it. We don't really have much time to chat right now, but I'll explain everything soon. Right now all you need to know is that as long as you behave yourself and do exactly as your told then Clary here will be just fine." Sebastian explained before nodding his head to Rafael and Meliorn. The two of them approached Jace and grabbed and arm each before roughly dragging him towards us so that we were all cloaked in the shadows. The whole time Jace kept his eyes locked with mine and I could see all the worry in them, all the love and all the hatred towards Sebastian reflected in the two golden pools. Luckily the three of them stopped a little off to my right,just out of reach, so that I was still able to see Jace despite the knife being held at my neck.

"Keep your mouth shut." Sebastian barked at Jace. A second pair of footsteps began to approach us and my heart sank as I saw who it was. The light in the room dimmed and I was sure we were completely hidden from sight. Jon began walking further into the room and suddenly I felt hands pushing against my back and I found myself flying through the air. Unable to catch myself due to my hands being tied behind my back I hit the ground hard causing my head to collide with the concrete floor painfully. It took a few seconds for my vision to clear but when it did I saw Jon approaching me from across the room.

"Clary?!"

Before Jon could reach me Sebastian jerked me onto my knees and brought the sharp knife back to my neck. Jon stopped abruptly and watched Sebastian and I carefully. "You know Clary," Sebastian began, "your so small and delicate, you remind me of a small doll."

"Let her go!" Jonathan demanded.

But Sebastian continued, ignoring Jon's protests. "It's a pity really because I've never been very good with toys, I always managed to break them as a child. I've always been a bit too…" he paused trying to search for the right word, "heavy handed". As if prove his point he pushed the knife harder against my skin, a small drop of blood began to roll down my neck from where Sebastian had managed to cut me. Jon took a step closer but before he could do anything else Sebastian dug the knife in harder causing more blood to trickle from the wound. I winced from the pain of the knife. Sebastian tutted at himself, "See, there I go again."

Jace couldn't contain himself any longer and burst out at Sebastian, "You son of bitch!".

"What did I say? If you can't shut your mouth yourself, we'll just have to do it for you." Sebastian told Jace. Meliorn pulled out a piece of duct tape and placed it over Jace's mouth, silencing any protests he had about the matter. "Much better. The next time either of you step out of line I might be clumsy and accidentally cut Clary a bit too deep."

When Sebastian finished talking Meliorn and Rafael dragged Jace over to the right side of the room and pulled his arms up towards the ceiling before securing them around one of the steel pipes connected to the walls with a cable tie. They then proceeded to do the same to Jon on the left side of the room. To my horror neither Jace or Jon put up a fight, they were letting themselves be put in this position because of me. Meliorn even punched Jonathan in the gut for good measure.

Sebastian pulled me off of the floor and turned me towards him, we were so close our chests were touching. I tried to pull away from him but he was too strong, one of his arms was wrapped around my waist keeping me in place. He brought his other hand, the one with the blade, towards my face and began to peel the tape away painfully slowly. Once enough of my mouth was free he leant his head forwards and forced his lips onto mine unexpectedly. I could hear something behind me but I was too focused on trying to get Sebastian off of my to be able to focus on anything else.

I bit down on his tongue that he was forcing down my throat as hard as I could causing him to pull back abruptly and reseal the tape over my mouth. Sebastian touched his lip with his finger and when he pulled back there was a drop of blood on his finger. I couldn't help the small smile that appeared on my face from the victory, though it was short lived because Sebastian drew back his hand and connected it to my cheek painfully. My head whipped to the side from the impact before Sebastian clutched my chin and caused me to look him straight in the eyes. "That wasn't very nice Clarissa. Did I forget to mention what would happen if you didn't behave yourself?"

Sebastian yanked me around so that I was once again facing Jace and Jon. I could see that Jace was struggling against his restraints while also mumbling something to Sebastian through the tape. The hatred in his eyes was clearly visible, It must have been him that I could hear before when Sebastian was trying to kiss me. "Why don't we start with Jace since he seems so keen." Sebastian stated as he nodded to Rafael who then proceeded to walk right up to Jace and punch him in the stomach. Jace doubled over, as much as he could considering his arms were tied above his head.

I closed my eyes, not wanting to see anyone I loved in pain. I was forced to turn around to face Sebastian once again. He unpeeled the tape from my mouth, the same way as he did before, but this time I didn't fight back when he kissed me and I didn't fight back when he clutched onto my waist with bruising force. All I could think about was Jace and how much I wished I was kissing him instead. When Sebastian finally pulled away I felt like I wanted to be sick, unlike him, who looked very pleased with himself.

"There's a good girl." He said as he stroked my cheek, it took everything in me not to flinch away from his touch. Just the thought of him made my skin crawl. He turned me around once again, unable to face Jon or Jace I forced myself to look at the floor. "We're going to play a little game, Clary's going to pick between the two of you," Sebastian said as he addressed Jon and Jace, "and whoever she doesn't pick, well, let's just say it won't be good. If she doesn't pick, then both of you will suffer the consequences. If you do anything other than just stand there, then Clary will get it. Understood?".

This couldn't be happening, it just couldn't. I was not going to pick between the two people that I love most in the world, I couldn't. But if I didn't then I would be condemning them both. My mind was reeling with all of the possibilities, yet no answer that I came up with was good enough. I could pick Jon and let Jace suffer, I could pick Jace and let Jon suffer or I could pick neither and they would both suffer. It's not even like I could pick the one who I thought could defend themselves best either because I knew they weren't going to do anything to protect themselves for my sake. Why couldn't they just be selfish and let me suffer, surely it would be better than knowing that it was my fault that one or both of them were in so much pain.

"Who's it going to be Clary?" I looked to both of the boys in front of me, willing myself to make a decision, but nothing came. The only thing I could do was shake my head as guilt flooded my mind. "You sure about that? You know what will happen, if you pick one then you can save the other, but if you don't then you will condemn them both. I really thought you were better than that Clary, how you disappoint me."

Sebastian then lent in so that only I could hear the next bit, "After everything your brother has done for you, I at least thought that you would pick your own blood over some boy you just met. What's so special about him Clary? What makes him better than anyone else? Why did you pick him over ME! No one has ever NOT picked ME!" By the time he finished he was shouting so that the whole room could hear him. He took a breath and seemed to calm down before continuing, "I know what it is, it's his eyes, isn't it? Isn't it!" He yanked my hair backwards so that he was shouting straight into my ear. Rafael seemed to take this a sign because he punched Jace right in his left eye."Or maybe it's his abs?" Rafael punched Jace in the chest, then again, and again, and again.

"Stop!" I screamed, unable to bear it any longer.

Rafael ignored my protests and continued to punch and jab. "No, I've got it! It's definitely that chip in his front tooth. Something about it seems to make the girls go crazy, why don't we see if we can add another one, add to his 'beauty'." Sebastian mocked. And then Rafael proceeded to attack Jace's jaw. By the time they had finished their assault on him he was bloody and bruised. He was hanging his head, obviously unable to summon the energy to lift it up, and his body was slumped in an uncomfortable looking position. It pained me to see him like this and know that it was all my fault, and then when I didn't think it could hurt any more he lifted his head and looked straight at me. I could tell by the way he was looking at me that he was worried, not for himself, but for ME. "Why don't we see what Jace has to say about his new look?" Following Sebastian's words, Rafael unpeeled the tape from Jace's mouth as slowly as he could in order to inflict more pain to the already broken boy.

Jace visibly struggled to draw enough energy to reply, "Go…to…hell" he then accompanied his bitter words with a smug grin aimed at Sebastian. The next thing I knew, both Meliorn and Rafael were kicking the living crap out of Jace while I was forced to watch. There was so much blood, I could barely see the cuts anymore, his entire top was covered in the stuff. I wanted to scream at them stop, but Sebastian was holding the knife so hard against my neck that I was scared if I even breathed too hard he would cut into something that I needed to survive and I would bleed out watching the people I love in pain because of me.

I was snapped out of it when a loud alarm started going off. My pounding headache caused by the multiple hits to the head I had received made it hard for me to recognise the type alarm. I watched as looks of terror appeared on Meliorn and Rafael's faces "Crap!" one of them shouted, and as quick as a flash they both bolted out of the room without a second thought.

Sebastian began to curse profusely before ultimately making a decision on what he was going to do next, without warning I was once again flung sideways into the air. I impacted against the ground, my skull connecting with the floor, before I slid sideways into the closest wall. If smashing my head for the third time wasn't bad enough it collided against the wall before I finally came to a stop. The world began to go blurry and I herd distant shouts but they sounded as if I was hearing them from underwater. Darkness began to crawl in from the edges of my vision and my eyelids became impossibly heavy, just as they were about to shut there was another shout but I was already too far gone to come back.


	26. Chapter 26

**_Song for the chapter is Angel with a shotgun by The Cab._**

 ** _This chapter is almost the same as the last one except it's in Jace's point of view instead of Clary's._**

 ** _WARNING: Dark themes and ideas are present_**

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I hadn't seen Clary all day, but I wasn't worried. I knew she was going back to the club to collect her phone, which she forgot there last night. At around 10pm, I got a message from her saying that she wanted to meet up near this building site since she would be passing it on her way back from wherever she was at now. But when I got there something didn't feel quite right.

When I reached the building site Clary was nowhere in sight. I waited outside for a while but there was still no sign of her. Eventually I decided to look in the building to see if she was waiting for me inside. I checked the first floor: nothing. The second floor: nothing. By the time I got to the third floor I thought I was wasting my breath. But when I rounded the corner from the stairs I was forced to stop abruptly to take in what I was seeing.

Before my very eyes was Clary. She was being held back by Sebastian. There was a light trail of blood coming from her left temple and she looked more pale than usual. Behind them were two other people: Raphael and Meliorn. My eyes drifted back to Clary. I could see that she was surprised to see me. Obviously it hadn't been her who send me the text. There was a piece of duct tape wrapped around her mouth, stopping her from talking, and her hands seemed to be tied behind her with something.

Before I knew it words were coming out of my mouth.

"What the-" My sentence was cut off as Sebastian began to talk over me.

"Jace, I'm so glad you could make it. We don't really have much time to chat right now, but I'll explain everything soon. Right now all you need to know is that as long as you behave yourself and do exactly as you're told then Clary here will be just fine." That's when I saw the sharp knife that was being held against Clary's throat. All I could do was stare as Meliorn and Raphael walked towards me. Each of them took one of my arms and began to 'guide' me towards Clary and Sebastian. When we stopped walking Clary was just out of my reach. Not that I would try anything with a knife that close to her delicate skin.

Sebastian turned to me and said, "Keep your mouth shut." I was able to hear someone coming from the side of the room that I had been on moments ago. The person came around the corner and I pulled my eyes off of Clary just long enough to see who it was. Jonathan. He couldn't see us because of the lack of lighting in the room so he began to walk a little further in, much like I had on the other floors before deeming them clear and moving on to the next one. Except Jon didn't get very far since Clary had been flung down onto the floor merely feet away from where Sebastian was.

I'm sure everyone in the room heard the loud thump of her head against the concrete floor. Jon immediately reacted to the form in front of him and began to approach, but I wasn't sure he actually knew who it was until he got slightly closer.

"Clary?!" Jon asked, concern lacing his voice. He was yet to notice the rest of us in the room, but I couldn't really blame him, considering his sister had just been dumped on the floor like a piece of trash. Jonathan only managed a step or two before Sebastian was pulling Clary to her knees and placing the knife to her neck again. I wanted to rip his head off for the way he was treating her. Like she was worthless. She wasn't worthless, she was anything but.

Then Sebastian began to talk. The whole room focused on his every move in case he slipped. "You know Clary, you're so small and delicate. You remind me of a small doll."

Jon voiced my exact thoughts when he shouted at Sebastian, "Let her go!".

But Sebastian continued as if nothing had ever happened. "It's a pity really because I've never been very good with toys. I always managed to break them as a child. I've always been a bit too… heavy handed". He flicked his hand, causing the knife to push deeper into Clary's skin and a bit of blood escaped the wound he had created.

Jonathan tried to walk closer, but Sebastian noticed and increased the pressure on the knife and more blood made its way down Clary's neck. Then Sebastian made a tutting sound, presumably at himself, "See, there I go again." Anger was building up inside of me, welling up until I wasn't able to contain it any longer.

"You son of a bitch!" There was so much more that I wanted to say but I restrained myself for Clary's sake. Why had I done that? Now Sebastian was going to hurt Clary for my stupid outburst. I was such an idiot. To my enormous relief Sebastian took it out on me instead of Clary.

"What did I say? If you can't shut your mouth yourself, we'll just have to do it for you." The next thing I knew Meliorn had taped my mouth shut with a piece of duct tape like Clary.

"Much better. The next time either of you step out of line I might be clumsy and accidentally cut Clary a bit too deep."

Rafael and Meliorn began to lead me over to one side of the room, just under a steel pipe connected to the ceiling. They then proceeded to tie my hands around the pipe using a cable tie. None too gently I might add, but I did nothing for fear of Clary getting hurt any more than she already was.

She had paled more and looked like she was about to pass out at any moment, the blood from her head never seeming to stop. I watched as they did the same thing as they had to me to Jonathan. He too let them do it without any attempt to fight back. I barely heard Jon whisper something to Meliorn as he finished tying him up. It must have been something infuriating because right before he walked away Meliorn proceeded to punch Jonathan in the stomach with excruciating force.

When I turned my head back towards Clary she was once again standing up, except now her back was facing me instead of her beautiful face. I could see her struggling to move away from Sebastian but he tripled her in size and kept her in place without even breaking a sweat. He began to lift his hand with the knife towards Clary's face. At first I thought that he was going to cut her, but instead he began to peel away the duct tape. Then, he did the one thing that he knew would make my blood boil. The bastard kissed her. I tried shouting at him to get his filthy, germ infested mouth of of hers but instead it just came out all mumbled and distorted. Sebastian flinched as if he was in pain and drew back sharply while covering Clary's mouth with the tape again. He reached to touch his lip and when it came away, I think I saw a small drop of blood on his finger. He looked up at Clary and slapped her across the face. The force was enough to knock her off balance but Sebastian grabbed onto her chin and forced her gaze back onto him once more. I wanted to kill him, I honestly wanted to kill him. I didn't think I had ever hated anyone as much as I hated him right then.

"That wasn't very nice, Clarissa. Did I forget to mention what would happen if you don't behave yourself?"

I was still trying to get out of my restraints and mumbling profanities at Sebastian as Clary was turned around so that she was once again facing me and Jonathan. By this point I had rubbed my wrists raw and caused them to bleed, making my wrists slippery and the blood to run down my arms towards my shoulders.

"Why don't we start with Jace since he seems so keen," Sebastian said, causing Raphael to prance up to me and punch me in the stomach like Meliorn had done to Jon earlier. The force of the impact caused all of the air to escape my lungs and my body to double over as much as it possibly could with my arms still secured above my head.

When I had recovered enough to look up, the bastard was kissing her again, and she wasn't fighting back like the last time. I wished that she knew how much more that hurt than any physical pain they could inflict on me. She was almost willingly kissing that sleaze-bag. She needed to fight back. I could take anything they threw at me except for _that_.

When they finally broke apart for air Clary looked a little green, while the asshole had the nerve to look pleased with himself. Now I knew I hated him more than I had ever hated anyone else in my entire life.

"There's a good girl," he told her. He then took his hand and stroked her cheek. That gesture alone made me want to be sick, especially since she just let him do it to her. Fight back Clary, fight back!

When she turned back around, she kept her gaze trained on the floor. If only I could have looked into those green eyes.

"We're going to play a little game. Clary's going to pick between the two of you," Sebastian explained as he indicated Jon and I. "And whoever she doesn't pick... Well, let's just say it won't be good. If she doesn't pick, then both of you will suffer the consequences. If you do anything other than just stand there, then Clary will get it. Understood?" Even though she wasn't looking at me, I could see the conflict on Clary's face. She didn't know who to pick. I didn't know what was worse, the fact that Clary was being forced to pick between the two of us, or the fact that if she didn't then she would have twice the guilt weighing her down. She didn't deserve this, none of us did. She was so compassionate and caring. The guilt of this one decision could cripple her.

What felt like a fraction of a second later Sebastian spoke again. "Who's it going to be, Clary?" I could tell she wasn't ready, everything about her told me so. The way her eyes kept switching between me and Jon and then back again. I wanted to take the burden off her, do something to make the decision easier, or get rid of it completely. Then she shook her head and it seemed as though the weight of the world had been pushed onto her shoulders. Of course she wouldn't be able to pick, but that wouldn't stop the guilt she must have been feeling.

"You sure about that? You know what will happen. If you pick one then you can save the other, but if you don't then you will condemn them both. I really thought you were better than that, Clary. How you disappoint me," Sebastian taunted her before he leant in closer and started to whisper something in her ear. I could see that the more he talked the more angry he became, his voice started to get louder and louder until I could hear exactly what he was saying from where I was standing. "-him over ME! No one has ever NOT picked ME!"

He then seemed to notice his outburst and took a second to relax himself before continuing.

"I know what it is. It's his eyes, isn't it? Isn't it?" My blood once again began to boil when he grabbed hold of Clary's hair and pulled hard enough to force her head to jerk backwards. Before I could even think twice about it though Raphael's fist was connecting with one of my eyes. My head whipped to the side and I could tell that I was going to get a massive black eye from that.

Then Sebastian continued his mad rant. "Or maybe it's his abs?" The first punch to the chest made the air in my lungs rush out all at once. The second punch on the already sore skin made a wave of pain crash over me. The third made the pain intensify. After that I seemed to lose count. I heard Clary yell out for them to stop but nothing changed. One after the other, the attacks kept on coming.

"No, I've got it! It's definitely that chip in his front tooth. Something about it seems to make the girls go crazy. Why don't we see if we can add another one to add to his 'beauty'." The short reprieve was interrupted by a sharp jab to the jaw and more pain.

By the time the attacks finished, all of the energy seemed to have been sucked out of my body and the only thing that I could think of was the excruciating pain radiating around my body. The searing pain in my wrists caused by the restraints seemed to be competing with the burn in my arms, the stinging of my face and the fire in my chest. But all of my physical pain was nothing compared to the pain that I was feeling from knowing that the girl I loved was in danger and mere inches away from the person who was causing everyone's pain. I summoned all of the strength that I could and used it to look up into her enchanting green eyes.

"Why don't we see what Jace has to say about his new look?" Sebastian mocked. The harsh plastic restricting my words was painfully removed from my was my chance, my chance to show them that no matter what they did to me I couldn't be broken. I couldn't be defeated. I mustered up what strength I could and spoke putting as much venom as I could into what I was saying.

"Go… to… hell." Wanting to add that little extra just to piss Sebastian off I gave him my iconic smirk. Though with the state I was in it might have looked like a grin from a cheshire cat. It probably wasn't my smartest idea, antagonising the enemy. Especially when I was in no position to defend myself.

This time when I was being assaulted, it was by both Raphael and Meliorn. I wasn't even sure who was doing what, just that it hurt like hell. At one point I thought I might even start coughing up blood, but luckily I was able to shove that feeling back down for another moment.

I remembered seeing a lot of red. Whether I was imagining it or not, I wasn't sure. Considering my current mental state of mind, I wouldn't be too surprised if I was imagining it, after all. Although it could have been completely real. But in that case it would have to mean that it was blood, probably my own. There was so much of it I think I preferred to think that I was imagining it, rather than know that all of the blood belonged to me. Surely I should have more of the red liquid inside of my body than out.

I immediately sobered up when I heard a police alarm going off in our close proximity. It was so unexpected I had to double check just to make sure that I wasn't imagining it. The pounding stopped followed by a few profanities and then the sound of footsteps retreating. Amazing even myself, I was able to look up and examine exactly what was going on. Raphael and Meliorn had run off, leaving Sebastian alone. He himself looked torn on what to do, trying to decide whether to stay or copy the other two and run. Something must have clicked in his head because all of a sudden he looked determined on whatever he had decided.

Sebastian then proceeded to shove Clary even harder than he had before and bolt towards the door. Unable to catch herself she slammed against the floor and slid over to the closets wall before smashing her head against the wall. "Clary!" I shouted as Jon started screaming profanities at Sebastian's retreating figure. Even more blood started to pour from her head, and her eyelids began to flutter shut. They were just going to leave her there. For all they knew she could die there on the floor where she lay. I wouldn't let her die, even if it was the last thing I ever did.

Using as much force as I could, I yanked and pulled my arms, trying to free myself, screaming from the pain that it was causing me. I finally managed to release myself, no longer supported I almost collapsed onto the floor but caught myself just in time. Every part of my body was screaming at me to stop moving, but I had to make sure Clary was alright. As quickly as possible, I rushed over to her body. Her eyes were closed, and blood was still coming out of her wound like an endless river. She looked as pale as a ghost and I could barely hear her breathing.

"She needs help! There's probably someone downstairs already," Jon told me from across the room. I knew that he was probably right but just as I was about to get up to help him out of his restraints, he spoke again, "No! Take her. I'll be fine." Not wanting to waste time and energy arguing, I turned back towards Clary and picked her delicate body up in my arms. Every muscle in my body refused to cooperate, burning with a more intense fire than I had ever felt in my entire life. I stumbled my way down the stairs, trying to get some help as quickly as possible without tripping and causing the both of us to fall down the stairs, sustaining more injuries than we already had. It seemed like the stairs were never ending, going on and on forever until I reached the depths of hell. After what felt like hours I managed to reach the ground floor.

From where I was I could clearly see the lights of a police car and, to my great relief, an ambulance. The combined sounds of the police car alarm and the ambulance made my ears ring. I kept going, feeling the energy quickly drain from my body, every breath becoming harder, every step becoming more impossible than the last. When someone reached to take Clary's unconscious form from my arms I was in no shape to argue, despite me not wanting to hand her over to a stranger. My brain told me that it was probably a medic or a police officer trying to help rather than some random stranger that just felt like taking home a redheaded girl. Once Clary was safely out of my arms I allowed all of the pain and exhaustion that I had been suppressing out, no longer having the energy to ignore it. It all came rushing back at once like a tidal wave drowning me. I couldn't bare it, unable to breathe, unable to stand, unable to do anything. I let my eyes fall shut and my body relax, letting the darkness encompass me like a warm blanket.

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 _ **Thank you to NoratheSoulless for betaing this for me.**_


	27. Chapter 27

_**Poem used is by Jeanette Winterson**_

 _ **Song used for this chapter is Only love can hurt like this by Paloma Faith**_

* * *

Waking up in the hospital for the second time was just as traumatic as the first, maybe even more. As soon as I peeled my eyes open I was bombarded by people and their questions. There were doctors trying to ask me questions regarding my head. I could see a few policemen in the corner of the room, probably desperate to ask me questions about what had happened, though I was a bit hazy myself. I could feel Jon's hand in mine, though he didn't try to question me. He just sat in the chair next to me with his comforting presence.

Once I had finished answering all the questions for the doctors they left for some time before they came back in and told us that I had a slight concussion, but apart from that I was fine and should recover in no time. They also said that they would need to keep me over night for observations, but if everything went well I could be discharged the next day.

The police briefly questioned me and I tried to answer as many questions as possible, but I doubt I could tell them anything they didn't already know. From the looks on their faced they thought so too. Once they were done I was finally left alone with Jonathan. I took a moment to breath for what felt like the first time in a while before letting it all sink in.

"How much do you remember?" Jon asked me after a moment.

"Enough." I didn't want to remember what had happened but I knew I would never be able to forget, the memories would be engraved in my mind for as long as I lived. "What happened after I…"

"Got knocked out?"

"Yeah."

"The police caught Sebastian, Raphael and Meliorn pretty easily." He paused a moment. "The police only knew about us because Alec called them after he overheard what was happening over the phone. Apparently I had accidentally but dialed him." Jon looked down at the floor and I could see a small smile curving the edges of his mouth. But it wasn't a happy smile. It was bitter. He shook his head before returning his gaze to mine once more. "It's a pretty lucky mistake when you think about it." Jon was obviously struggling to continue talking, he was trying too hard to avoid carrying on. I could almost see the images reflected in his gaze, he was clearly deeply affected by what had happened, not that I was surprised. Anyway, when you were unconscious, we couldn't see you breathing and you had turned so pale…" I squeezed his hand in order to comfort him and show him that I was alright." Jace managed to slip out of his restraints and carried you to an ambulance." At the mention of Jace's name I immediately felt guilty for forgetting about him. But I couldn't stop Jon, he needed to get this out so when his hands began to tremble I just held on tighter. "Clary, you looked so pale and your head was bleeding, I thought, for a second there I thought…"

"I'm alright, I'm right here." It didn't seem to help so I decided Jon needed a distraction and I couldn't hold off any longer from saying what I really wanted to. "Where is Jace? Is he okay?"

"Clary, he's…" Jon used the voice he used to use when I was a little girl and he was trying not to upset me. Ironically it had the opposite effect and only made me more upset.

"He's what Jon? I want to see him. Where is he?" I almost shouted. I became restless and started to get out of the bed, desperate to find out what was going on.

Jon easily managed to keep me in the hospital bed given his strength and my small stature. "It's not good Clary. He's got a punctured lung, they had to put him on a ventilator. He's also got some bruised ribs, some internal bruising and a black eye. Not to mention he's exhausted from the physical and mental strain he was put under."

"I want to see him," I kept demanding, unable to get rid of the black hole that had formed in my stomach since I had woken up.

"He's in the ICU. No one's allowed to see him, not even his own family. Maybe they'll let you see him tomorrow after you're discharged." I nodded my head, no longer having the energy to respond. I suddenly felt like all of the blood had been drained from my body, leaving only an empty shell. Jon seemed to notice this, "Go to sleep Clary, I promise I'll be here when you wake up." Almost in a trance, I lay down, knowing that I would never be able to escape into the sweet trance of sleep.

For hours I tried to sleep, but it was an impossible venture. I couldn't help but feel as though it was my fault, everything was my fault. It was my fault Jon and Jace had been put in that position, it was my fault that they were hurt and it was my fault Jace was now in the intensive care unit. Eventually the hours passed by, I looked through the window in my room and watched as the sun slowly made it's way across the sky and disappeared behind the horizon making way for the moon, but not before gracing the world with the most amazing colours. As I saw how the monarch orange glow contrasted with the azure blue hue of the sky in the most magnificent way I couldn't appreciate the beauty of any of it. Every time I closed my eyes I saw images of the night before, I could smell the blood, feel the rawness of my throat from screaming, feel the sting of tears shed long ago. Every moment that passed only grew worse, my memory tormenting me, forcing me to re-live the same nightmarish moments again and again. On some level I was glad for it, I felt like I deserved it for what I had put everyone through. The pain and fear were a sweet relief in comparison to the overwhelming guilt that wracked my body.

At some point I had fallen asleep, most likely from exhaustion, but my dreams weren't a reprieve from my thoughts like I hoped they would be. If anything my nightmares were intensified, and all of my fears became a reality. I dreamt of my father, a shell of the man that he once was. If you didn't know him it would be impossible to tell the difference. But I knew him, and I could see that his eyes no longer held any real emotions. The way he held himself showed no signs of a man who once loved and adored his family. When he turned to look at me I could see no recognition in his eyes. His eyebrows furrowed and the longer we stood there looking at each other, the more I could tell that the man in front of me was not my father but a stranger. Then I dreamt of my mother in all of her glory before she became ill. She was admiring the ocean in the distance, the colours reflected back in her eyes, and in that moment she looked so young. As I tried to approach her, to embrace her the way I had been wanting to do for years, she began to walk towards the water. I hurried towards her but the faster I got, the further away she was. Her figure quickly disappeared out of sight and her body was submerged underneath the water. Unable to bear the pain of losing her again I collapsed to my knees and wept. I cried for the mother and father that I used to have, I cried for the family we could have been and I cried for the future that I was never able to have. How could she have abandoned me again?

The dreams only got worse from there. When I dreamt of Jon I didn't see the boy who used to pick me up when I fell down, or the boy who always told me that my nightmares were only there because I let them and that all of the monsters were just in my head. Instead I saw the mirror image of my father, an uncaring, unloving man who no longer believed he had a family. It was like the Jonathan I knew never truly existed, like he was only a figment of my imagination. His heart had grown cold like our father's had. My entire family was gone and I was left all alone, unable to find my way out of the darkness. Too scared to even try. What was the point anyway?

I could feel Jon's hand in mine when I woke up. He was still there like he promised he would be. Not ready to open my eyes yet I clenched them shut and squeezed his hand just to make sure he wasn't going anywhere.

"Do you wake up as I do, having forgotten what it is that hurts or where, until you move? There is a second of consciousness that is clean again. A second that is you, without memory or experience, the animal warm and waking into a brand new world. There is the sun dissolving the dark, and light as clear as music, filling the room where you sleep and the other rooms behind your eyes." But that wasn't Jon's voice, it was one much sweeter. His silvery voice passed through my ears like honey, I simply couldn't get enough of it. My eyes fluttered open and I drank in the sight of him. His glistening eyes looked down at me and in them I could see every memory that we shared together, both the good and the bad. On more than one occasion I had stared at him, willing myself to memorise every inch of his face, yet every time I gazed upon it, it was like I was seeing him for the first time. The way his face transformed with his smile never ceased to amaze me. Somehow he became even more beautiful than ever, if that was even possible. He was like an angel who had come down to earth and mesmerised every mortal who dared to gaze upon him.

Too soon his once glorious smile was suddenly wiped from his face, not a trace left. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. I didn't understand what could possibly be wrong, we were both there together, we were both okay. I hastily rose to a sitting position as I watched Jace bow his head down and I followed his gaze. A scarlet stain had appeared on his white shirt right where his heart was. As I watched in horror the stain grew and darkened. Unable to believe what was happening I looked up at his face once more. Blood had started to pool out from the corner of his mouth in a steady stream.

"Why?" he whispered hoarsely. His eyes shifted from mine once again and I was almost too scared to look at what he was staring at. Forcing myself I shifted my own eyes and was horrified to see a dagger coated in blood in my hand. I began to tremble and the weapon fell out of my hand and clattered to the floor. Why had I done that? What was wrong with me? Why did I have to ruin everything good that happened to me? I was a poison, killing everything that came close enough to be infected by me. I watched helplessly as the man I loved died in front of me and it was all my fault. My trembling got worse until it had engulfed my whole body.

I woke up startled and shaking. My entire body felt like it was on fire, I could feel the sweat dripping from me.

A soft hand was rubbing against my cheeks and when I opened my eyes I saw that it was Jonathan trying to soothe me. "It's okay, it was only a nightmare. You're safe Clary. I won't let anything happen to you." I didn't answer him, instead I just looked into his eyes and tried to stop my body from shattering into a million pieces.

After what felt like an eternity I had finally calmed down enough to get out of bed. As I looked at myself in the mirror I barely recognised the girl in front of me. She had dark bags under her eyes from a lack of sleep and the light had completely disappeared from the once shining emeralds. There were stitches on her forehead surrounded by ugly and bruised skin. She was a complete stranger, and some part of me knew that it was true, not only on the outside, but on the inside as well. I cleaned myself up as much as I could, looking one last time in the mirror and cringing at the sight of the bandage in my neck before I walked out into the hallway where Jonathan was waiting for me. "You ready?" he asked.

"No, " I told him honestly. He gave a small smile to my answer before taking my arm and gently leading me down the clinical halls of the hospital. Everywhere I looked there were people. Some looked sick, others looked worried or tired. The doctors and nurses that passed by were all swept up in their work, some of them looked as if they hadn't slept in weeks. The more we walked, the worse the expressions on people's faces became. The hallways were haunted by the ghosts of the past. I could feel the hopelessness of each one of them. They would never see their loved ones again. Everywhere I looked there were tear streaked cheeks and whispered prayers. I was reminded of this quote I had once heard somewhere; 'Airports see more sincere kisses than wedding halls while the walls of hospitals have heard more prayers than he walls of churches'. The more I thought about it, the clearer it became that it was true. If I listened closely, I could swear that I could hear the prayers of every person that had once passed through these very halls.

Before I knew it Jon and I had stopped walking and were now facing the door to a room. I couldn't bring myself to move. I was frozen in place with the images of my nightmares from the night before ghosting past my eyes. "I could go in with you if you want," Jon offered, clearly noting something was wrong. As much as I wanted him to come with me so that I could have someone to lean on, I knew that wasn't possible.

"I think I have to do this alone," I told him before giving him a grateful smile. He reluctantly let go of me before giving me a kiss on the forehead and telling me he would wait in the cafeteria. I watched as he walked down the hall and eventually out of sight. Gathering up all of the bravery I could muster, I willed my hand to reach towards the door handle. I had to stop myself from breaking down into tears when I walked into his room. He looked as though he had been through hell and barely come back alive. He was covered in bruises that coated every visible part of his skin. The doctors had warned me that because of his punctured lung he was attached to a ventilator that would help him breathe, and he wouldn't be able to talk while he had it in. Much like Jon and I, Jace had a bandage around each wrist, covering up the ring shaped cuts that encompassed them.

Jace was staring off into the distance when he must have heard me. His head turned towards me and despite all of his injuries he still managed to smile weakly. That small gesture made it twice as hard to not break down. I had to be strong for him, but as much as I tried, I couldn't return the smile.

I wanted to walk up to his bed and grab hold of his hand, I barely stopped myself as I willed away the images of the dagger in my hand and the blood, that had once again made an appearance in my mind. Every time I tried to speak the words died in my throat. I didn't know how to start, so I settled for the one thing that kept racing through my head.

"I'm sorry." It came out as a whisper but I could tell he heard me from the expression on his face that had gone from a weak smile to a look of confusion. I carried on going before I could change my mind, before I could screw up the only thing I had left holding me together, "I'm so sorry. It's my fault that this happened to you. I should never have gotten so close to you." Once I started talking the words seemed to flow out of me in a steady stream. "Everyone that's near me ends up getting hurt. Getting to know you was the best thing that ever happened to me and I'm just so sorry that you had to get hurt because of me."

I could see that he wanted to say something, but the ventilator made it impossible for him to do so. The only thing I could do was shake my head as if to tell him there wasn't anything he could say. I had to get everything off my chest before I imploded. "If I was a better person I would leave, but I'm not. I'm not a better person, I'm not strong enough, and I'm just so sorry." By the time I finished my eyes were glistening with unshed tears, but I refused to let any fall. To my surprise he didn't look angry, instead he just lifted his hand and signalled for me to take it. I placed my delicate hand in his and sat in the chair next to his bed, unable to look him in the eyes the entire time. With his other hand, he gently nudged my chin to so that I was forced to look at him, and stroked my cheek with his thumb. His eyes held the same love and admiration as they always had, maybe even more and somehow sitting next to the man I loved, I managed to drift into a peaceful sleep.


	28. Chapter 28

_**Song for this chapter is Change for Love by Little Sea**_

* * *

"There's no need to be scared," The nurse said as she began removing the ventilator. She was slim, with dark skin and dark blue eyes. Her snow white hair reached just above her shoulders. Overall, she was beautiful. "You've already practiced breathing on your own a few times and have been slowly getting used to breathing on your own again through the ventilator," the nurse (she had said earlier that her name was Catarina) carried on saying. Jace didn't seem to look worried, at least he didn't look worried to anyone else in the room. But I knew him better than I knew myself most of the time, and I could see he was as scared as anyone would be.

Jace's family was allowed to see him soon after I had visited and had all bombarded into the tiny hospital room to wish him well. It was almost comedic how so many people managed to fit into such a small space, sort of like a clown car. After a while the space seemed to feel too crowded so everyone decided that it would be best not to overwhelm Jace and only have a few people in at a time. So over the past few days we had all been taking turns visiting. I mostly just spent my time with Jace in silence, each one of us taking comfort in the mere presence of the other.

I watched as Jace was slowly weened off the ventilator and today was finally the day that they would detach him from the machine. Alec, Izzy, Jon and I were all in the room with him, watching as Catarina detached all of the cables and tubes. It wasn't easy to watch, and I'm sure it sure as hell wasn't easy to go through. When the last cable was removed we all waited anxiously as Jace struggled to breathe for a few seconds but eventually managed to even out his breathing.

"Good. A lot of patients think that they can't talk for fear of doing some damage but I can honestly tell you that it's perfectly alright to talk if you want," Catarina explained.

Jace seemed to take this into account as he took a deep breath before opening his mouth to talk.

"Thank god," he said. "There's so much I've wanted to say. First off, Izzy, if you even try to bake me some more get well cookies I will throttle you. Those things are deadly. Alec, even though I'm really grateful for what you did, I swear if you let your boyfriend come near me one more time trying to give me a makeover to make me 'feel better' I will never talk to you again. Jon, don't even get me started, you look like you're gonna pass out. Go get some rest and stop worrying about everyone else all the time." When he was finished talking Jace looked as though a huge weight had been lifted off his chest. Everyone was too surprised to say much, I think we were all just happy to hear his voice again and from what he said we all knew that he was okay.

"What about me?" I asked almost in a whisper.

He took a breath, closing his eyes, before he turned to everyone else. "Do you guys mind giving us a minute?" Jace asked everyone, the smile suddenly gone from his face. Alec, Izzy and Jon all made their way out of the room silently. Once they were all gone Jace turned back to me again and took hold of one of my hands, slowly rubbing his thumb over my skin in circular motions. "How could you even think any of this was your fault Clary? None of this was because of you. None of it."

I opened my mouth to interrupt but he pressed a finger to my lips and shook his head the same way I had when I had first gone to see him. "I don't know why you insist on blaming yourself for everything that's gone wrong in your life, but this was not your fault. I don't care how many times I have to tell you until it gets into your thick skull, but if I have to I will say it every single day for the rest of our lives Clary. I love you so much and I've never been more scared than when I saw you lying on that floor unconscious and as white as a ghost. I honestly thought you were dead for a few seconds there and I swear a part of me died with you. If anything ever happened to you I don't know what I'd do." I could see Jace's eyes beginning to cloud over with unshed tears. His beautiful eyes were hidden behind a layer of glass and it made my heart break just a little bit more. I couldn't stand that I was causing him this much pain. Unable to find the words to say I decided that actions spoke louder than words so I clambered onto the bed next to him and snuggled into his side as gently as I could trying to avoid hurting his already bruised ribs. He wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on top of my head. We lay there, not saying anything, letting the words pass silently between us.

* * *

I missed him. It hadn't been more than a few hours since I last saw him, but I missed him being at school. I missed walking down the halls with him, I missed talking to him during class when we were supposed to be paying attention, I even missed him distracting me while I was trying to concentrate. Nothing was the same without him, but there was absolutely nothing I could do about it but wait. He would be back soon enough and I'd just have to wait until he was. On the bright side I had all of my friends, something I was eternally grateful for. I could barely remember a time when they weren't around. I didn't know how I managed to get through life without Simon's random outbursts of geeky comments, or without Isabel's constant harassment about my fashion that told she cared about me, or Maia and Jordan's friendly smiles that seemed to be constantly on their faces.

Every time I thought back to how this all started my mind felt like it was gonna explode. It's amazing how one day can change your entire life, but maybe it wasn't just one day. Maybe it was a series of events, small moments that all added up. I thought back to the moment I decided to visit the school chatroom, the first conversation I had with Jace even though at the time I didn't know who he was. I remembered when he tried to protect me by leaving, I remember when he saved me when there was no one else around and I remembered the concert, one of the best nights of my life. I remembered the sleepover we all had at the Lightwoods' house and the game of truth or dare. I smiled to myself at that memory. I thought about when Jace and I had a fight because he found out about the letters I had been receiving and I remembered how he made it up to me. All of these moments made up who I was now and I didn't think I would trade any of them if I had the chance.

I was so busy thinking about my past that I completely lost track of the present. I didn't even notice when someone had snuck up behind me while was trying to get a book from my locker. When I felt a pair of hands reach around me I jumped around and reflexively jabbed the person in the side with my arm. I immediately regretted it when I saw the look of pain on Jace's face as he tried to cover how much I had actually hurt him. His ribs were still healing and he'd be in a lot of pain for a couple more weeks.

"Surprise." he croaked, obviously still in pain.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry! What are you even doing here? You're not supposed to be in school yet! You should be at home resting."

"I convinced my parents to let me come to school early. I was sick of staying at home doing nothing all day," he said once he'd recovered, though I knew that his ribs still hurt from the strain he was putting on them. This was why he had to stay in bed and let them heal, why couldn't he ever do as he was told? "Don't tell me you're not glad to see me."

"Of course I am. Though I would be even happier if you weren't causing yourself pain by being here."

"I'm not in pain." It didn't take a genius to tell he was lying, though I decided to let it go since I really was glad that he was back in school.

"You're an idiot."

"Yes, but I'm your idiot," he replied before he bent down and kissed my nose with a goofy smile on his face.

"Yes you are." With that he wrapped one arm around my shoulders, wincing slightly at the motion, and we made our way down the hall together. We were almost at our english class when I realised I had forgotten my maths book in my locker and I wouldn't have time to go back and get it after class before maths started.

"I'll be right back." I told Jace before hurrying back the way we came. The halls were quickly emptying of people, soon there was no one there but me. Sure I was going be late, I quickened my pace and got to my locker as fast as I could.

"Look who's back in school. I thought we'd finally gotten rid of you once and for all," Kaelie said, as she walked up to me. Even though I had my back to her I would recognise that voice anywhere.

"Just leave me alone Kaelie," I told her, not having enough energy to deal with her torments after everything that had happened recently. I just wanted one day where nothing bad had to happen. Apparently that was too much to ask for. The universe just didn't want to give me a break.

"Someone finally grew a spine. It's a shame you're still a pathetic waste of space though," she snarled.

Something inside me must have snapped because I slammed my locker shut and turned around to face Kaelie so that I could properly give her a piece of my mind. "You know what Kaleie, I'm sick of you treating me like this, I'm sick of your malicious comments and I'm especially sick of letting you get away with it for as long as you have. Leave me the hell alone."

"Why the hell should I?"

"What did I ever do to you? What did I do that made you hate me so much? Please tell me, because I can't think of a single reason why you should spend so much energy tormenting me every day. I don't understand why you would strain your pathetic little brain every day in order to come up with new insults all the time. Why don't you do everyone a huge favour and just stop. I used to believe everything that you told me, I'd repeat the words inside of my head again and again, I'd commit them to memory because I thought they had to be true. But you know what, I now realise that they're just a bunch of lies to make you feel better about yourself by making someone else suffer and I'm sick of being your punching dummy. At first I hated you because you caused me so much pain, then I was scared of you, scared of what you would say to me, but now I jut pity you. I pity the fact that your life seems to revolve around making mine miserable. You need to get a life and stop prying into mine."

With those words I turned around and headed down the hall, no longer bothered about being late. As I turned the corner I had to make an abrupt stop in order to prevent bumping into someone. I looked up to see a very proud looking Jace.

"That was the most incredible thing I have ever seen."

"Did you follow me?" I ask teasingly.

"Well when your girlfriend suddenly decides to ditch class without telling you then there really isn't much more you can do but follow."

"I was not ditching." I told him offended that he would actually believe I would do that.

"I know that now, but I'm glad I did come. Seriously Clary, that was amazing."

"That was nothing, I should have done it months ago." Instead of answering me he just leaned down a gave me quick kiss before pulling back slightly to rest his forehead on mine. I could have stayed there all day, looking into those melted gold eyes of his but if we didn't leave now we would definitely be in trouble when we got to class.

"Come on." I told him, "I'd rather not spend my lunchtime in detention." I could tell he wasn't too pleased to go to class either but it had to be done.


	29. Chapter 29

_**Songs used in this chapter are Gravity by Sara Bareilles,**_ _ **Emergency by Icona pop,**_ _ **Falling into you by Isak Danielson and**_ _ **Can't pretend by Tom Odell**_

* * *

It was finally the day of the talent show. I was so nervous I had bitten all of my nails down to their stubs. During the two weeks that Jace had been back at school, we worked for hours on our performances, though it wasn't that bad since we got to spend some quality time together. I loved listening to his voice and would never get sick of hearing him sing.

I paced the backstage, trying to remember the lyrics to the song I had picked to perform. Why did I have to choose a song where I had to play the piano? I didn't even know the piano. Jace had offered to teach me to play but now that I actually had to do it in front of everyone without him there to help me I had forgotten everything. What was I going to do? I cursed myself over and over as I paced and chewed on my fingernails, or lack there of.

"I swear to god, Clary, if you don't stop pacing I will tackle you," Isabelle said, who was putting some last minute finishing touches to the clothes she had designed for her fashion show. Somehow she had managed to rope everyone into modeling for her. It wasn't hard to get Magnus to do it, hell, he actually volunteered to model and managed to drag Alec into modeling for Isabelle as well. Simon, being her boyfriend, had to do it out of obligation, but he decided if he had to do it, then so did I. That led to a mutual agreement between Alec and I that if we had to do it Jace had to as well. This seemed to keep spiraling until Jace got Jon to do it, then he convinced Aline and Isabelle to somehow rope Jordan and Maia into it as well. I suspect she blackmailed them, though my suspicions are yet to be confirmed.

I glared at her briefly before going back to pacing and chewing my now bleeding finger. I could feel my whole body pulsing with nervous energy. The adrenaline had kicked in and had gone into overdrive. The more I tried to relax the worse it got. Eventually Jace had to come over and physically stop me from pacing and chewing my own finger off.

"If you keep going like this you won't be able to play the piano," he joked as he pulled my hand away from my mouth and held it at my side. "You'll be fine Clary. We've practiced a million times." Before I could respond I heard my name being called to stage. "I'll be watching on the side. Just look at me if you get nervous," he told me before kissing my forehead and leading me over the the entrance of the stage.

I forced myself not to look at the audience for fear of running off stage straight away. Before I knew it I was sitting at the piano bench and everyone was waiting for me to begin. Before I did anything I looked up to see that Jace had moved to the other side of the stage and was now standing in the wings right in font of me. He gave me an encouraging smile that gave me the strength to place my hands on the keys. I took a deep breath and began to play, letting the music wash over me.

 **Something always brings me back to you.**

 **It never takes too long.**

 **No matter what I say or do**

 **I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.**

 **You hold me without touch.**

 **You keep me without chains.**

 **I never wanted anything so much**

 **Than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.**

 **Set me free,**

 **Leave me be.**

 **I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity**

 **Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.**

 **But you're on to me and all over me.**

 **Oh, you loved me 'cause I'm fragile**

 **When I thought that I was strong.**

 **But you touch me for a little while**

 **And all my fragile strength is gone.**

 **Set me free,**

 **Leave me be.**

 **I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity**

 **Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.**

 **But you're on to me and all over me.**

 **I live here on my knees**

 **As I try to make you see**

 **That you're everything I think I need here on the ground.**

 **But you're neither friend nor foe**

 **Though I can't seem to let you go.**

 **The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down.**

 **You're keeping me down, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah**

 **You're on to me, on to me, and all over...**

 **Something always brings me back to you.**

 **It never takes too long.**

I let the last note ring inside my head, savoring the moment before I looked up. I was still way too nervous to look at anything but Jace. His smile instantly made the butterflies in my stomach calm down enough for me to breathe. I made my way over to him and off of the stage. I didn't usually enjoy being the centre of attention. All I ever wanted was to get lost in the music, which is exactly what I had managed to do. All I could do was hope that that was enough.

Before I could even get a chance to relax, though, Isabelle was on me like a lion on a gazelle. She ushered me over to the changing room and threw some clothes at me. I had to say that Isabelle had a talent for fashion. She had managed to make the most beautiful clothes while still giving me a casual sort of look. I was wearing a pair of skin tight high waisted jeans with a brown belt, a white cut out shoulder top made out of lace that reached just over my belly button and a pair of gorgeous brown boots that just reached my ankles. She put my hair half up, half down and placed a white flower at the back to hide that hair bobble tying it in place. By the time I was finished getting ready I could see that not only was I ready, but mostly everyone else was as well. The clothing ranged from casual, like what Jordan, Maia, Jace and I were wearing, to formal, like what Jon and Aline, Magnus and Alec were wearing. She had even designed semi-formal outfits that she and Simon were both wearing.

I was extremely glad that Isabelle had decided to let us model in pairs because I doubt I would have been able to do it if Jace hand't been there with me every step of the way. The music came on and we were ushered on stage in our pairs. First were Jordan and Maia, then Jace and I went on. I tried my best to show off Isabelle's amazing clothes without falling flat on my face. Jace seemed to be enjoying himself and showing off his godlike beauty. I was sure that next to him I must have looked like an absolute idiot, but I didn't mind that much. When we finally made it back offstage, we had to wait for everyone else before going on once again all at once. After us were Isabelle and Simon, followed by Magnus and Alec, and then finally Jon and Aline. Then we all went on one by one in a line. At the front was Jordan and at the back was Isabelle. Luckily, we just had to go around the stage once before going off again. Isabelle stayed at the front for a bit, took a bow and then made her way back to us with a massive smile plastering her face.

"That was great!" she told us. "I can't thank you guys enough."

"You can thank us by never making us do it again," Jace told her.

"I thought you looked pretty happy onstage, almost as if you were enjoying yourself," I teased.

"I was until I saw half of the male population in our school gawking at my girlfriend," he said matter of factly. I was gobsmacked, had people really been looking at me? I assumed that all eyes would be on Jace. "You're mine, never forget that," he told me lovingly while he pulled me tighter to his side.

* * *

"Are you nervous?" I asked Jonathan. He would be performing soon and being his usual annoying self hadn't let me hear him sing before the talent show, he didn't even tell me what he'd be singing. He said he wanted it to be a surprise, though I still didn't really understand why. When it was finally time for him to sing I couldn't contain my excitement. I loved hearing him sing, he seemed to put all of his emotions into the song the way I did when I danced.

"No really." he replied casually, though I could tell that underneath his cool exterior he was. When they called his name he somehow managed to look as cool and collected as ever as he strolled onto the stage and took his place behind the mic stand.

 **Everyday**

 **something new**

 **taking time**

 **to see you**

 **and the skies**

 **summer has**

 **nothing can take us from this place**

 **Time flies slowly**

 **we're still here**

 **and hope these moments**

 **never disappears**

 **Everyday**

 **something new**

 **I'm running out of time so I'm telling you**

 **I'm falling into you**

 **falling into you**

 **If I fall any deeper,**

 **deeper I'll drown**

 **I'm falling into you**

 **I'm falling for you**

 **I can't fall any deeper**

 **Cause you know just how I feel**

 **and you feel just how much is real**

 **I'm falling into you,**

 **falling for you**

As he sang the whole crowd seemed to get lost in his every word. Unlike other people, Jon never really put up a façade in front of others, but when he sang, something seemed to melt away revealing his soul. His eyes were closed as he sang, not out of fear of the crowd, but more because he was so lost in the song he couldn't physically open up to the real world.

 **We shear the chapter**

 **you gave me laughter**

 **Now I feel you on my pillow, ever after**

 **The nights were made of,**

 **you and my love**

 **No one else could make me feel this way**

 **Time flies slowly**

 **cause I stand here**

 **I know these moments**

 **will disappears**

 **Everyday**

 **something new**

 **I'm running out of time so I'm telling you**

 **I'm falling into you**

 **falling into you**

 **If I fall any deeper,**

 **deeper I'll drown**

 **I'm falling into you**

 **I'm falling for you**

 **I can't fall any deeper**

 **Cause you know just how I feel**

 **and you feel just how much is real**

 **I'm falling into you,**

 **falling for you**

 **Deeper, falling for you deeper**

 **I'm falling, falling for you deeper**

 **Deeper, falling for you deeper**

 **I'm falling deeper**

 **Everyday**

 **something new**

 **I'm running out of time to tell you I**

 **Running out of time so I tell you I**

 **I'm falling into you**

 **falling into you**

 **If i fall any deeper,**

 **deeper I'll drown**

 **I'm falling into you**

 **I'm falling for you**

 **I can't fall any deeper**

 **I'm falling into you**

 **falling into you**

 **If i fall any deeper,**

 **deeper i'll drown**

 **I'm falling into you**

 **I'm falling for you**

When he finished he received a standing ovation, but no one cheered louder than our little group. Jon was one of those people that just had a natural gift that not many people possessed, no one could deny his talent. Despite his cool exterior, when he opened his eyes, I saw him release a breath. His smile encompassed his entire face, I doubted that I had ever seen him so happy in his entire life, I was so proud of him. He turned towards us and made his way off stage towards us. As he approached I could tell he was a man on a mission, instead of trying to interrupt I watched as he walked straight up to Aline, took her in his arms and kissed her like he was dying and she was the cure. I could hear people clapping, cheering and giving the couple wolf whistles as they continued with their intimate moment. After a while Jon released Aline, though they still stayed glued together at the hip. "What was that for?" she asked him.

"Can a guy not kids his girlfriend without a specific reason?" he replied with a smirk.

"I never said he couldn't, I just wanted to know if there was a specific reason for it this time."

"I love you, how about that?"

"It's perfect" she told him before bringing his face down with her hands for another kiss.

"Enough PDA! Haven't my poor eyes suffered enough?" I said jokingly after they seemed to be perfectly content to stay like that for the rest of eternity.

"Oh no little sister, if I must endure watching you two then you can endure watching me and my girlfriend." Jon said after breaking away from the kiss.

"We're not that bad." I told him.

"Yes you are!" Everyone but Jace and I said at the same time. My cheeks flamed red from embarrassment, had I really been so oblivious? Everyone seemed to laugh at my reaction and my obvious lack of words which only made me blush more. Trying to hide my red face I tucked my head into Jace's chest. Much to my pleasure he wrapped his arms around me in a comforting manner, but I could feel his body shaking from laughter he was obviously trying to suppress.

"I hate you." I mumbled into his chest.

"No you don't. You love me." He told me matter of factly. Instead of answering I just snuggled into his chest more which he seemed to like because he responded by tightening his grip on me. "Clary?"

"Mhmmm?"

"Clary I have to go, they're calling my name." I detached myself from him begrudgingly, not wanting to leave his embrace.

"I'll be back before you know it." He told me before placing a soft kiss on my forehead.

"You'll be great." I encouraged him.

"I know." he replied smugly before going onstage. As soon as he stepped a foot on the stage I could hear girls screaming his name. I wanted to slap each and every one of them and tell them that he was mine. But I knew I was just being stupid and jealous so I pushed those thoughts to the back of my head and tried to focus on Jace. He walked up to the piano that was on the stage and took his seat at the bench. I watched as he brushed his fingers gently across the keys and pulled down his walls like he did every time he played. Watching the way he became so vulnerable when he played made me appreciate how I got to see that side of him, a side very few other got to see when he wasn't playing music.

 **Love, I have wounds,**

 **Only you can mend,**

 **You can mend.**

 **I guess that's love,**

 **I can't pretend,**

 **I can't pretend.**

 **Feel, my skin is rough,**

 **But it can be cleansed,**

 **It can be cleansed.**

 **And my arms are tough,**

 **But they can be bent,**

 **They can be bent.**

 **And I wanna fight,**

 **But I can't contend.**

 **I guess that's love,**

 **I can't pretend,**

 **I can't pretend.**

He looked up and our eyes locked for a brief second and I could tell that he wasn't just singing the words of a song, he was saying them to me. I could hear him pleading with me to understand that he didn't care about anyone else there, It was just the two of us for that brief moment that was our own little infinity.

 **Oh, feel our bodies grow,**

 **And our souls they blend.**

 **Yeah love I hope you know,**

 **How much my heart depends.**

 **But I guess that's love**

 **I can't pretend,**

 **I can't pretend.**

 **I guess that's love**

 **I can't pretend,**

 **I can't pretend.**

 **Oh feel our bodies grow,**

 **And our souls they blend.**

 **Yeah love I hope you know,**

 **How much my heart depends.**

 **I guess that's love**

 **I can't pretend,**

 **I can't pretend.**

 **I guess that's love**

 **I can't pretend,**

 **I can't pretend.**

The last note lingered in the air momentarily before disappearing into the nothingness of silence. At first everyone was too shocked to do much but stare at Jace, not that I could blame them. Normally he would let down his walls and show people pieces of him while he sang, but this time it was more. This time those walls that imprisoned that broken boy that I fell in love with were obliterated. For the first time the shackles that held Jace down were ripped free and everyone could see him for the person he truly was.

I looked over to him and I could see how much it had cost him to bear himself to the world. His muscles were wound tight and his eyes were clenched shut. His hands hadn't moved from where they had been when he struck the last note of the song. I could tell he was waiting, waiting for everyone's reaction, waiting to see if it had been the wrong decision to let free the scared child inside of him instead of keeping him safe and hidden from the world and all of it's monsters. Slowly people began to clap, one by one, until the applause turned into a thunderous roar of encouragement. Maybe the world wasn't as scary and dangerous as we'd all thought it was. Maybe, just maybe it was somewhere we could be happy.


	30. Chapter 30

**Songs** _ **used in this chapter are a Taylor Swift Mashup that you can find by typing** **Blank Space/Style (Taylor Swift Mash-Up) | Louisa Wendorff into youtube and** **Red by Against the Current (originally by Taylor Swift).**_

 ** _Also, can you guess which three characters are mentioned here? Leave a review tip your guess._**

* * *

After the emotional rollercoaster that I'd just been through, there was nothing more that I wanted than to fall asleep in Jace's arms. Though as much as I wished for that to happen, there was still one more obstacle that I had to overcome first. Luckily this time, I wouldn't be facing it alone, this time he would be by my side the whole time.

Walking on stage wasn't any easier as it had been the first time. I still felt the same twinge in my stomach, the same nervous shaking of my hands and the light clamminess that my skin had adopted. My heart pounded in my chest, and the adrenaline in my veins sent shockwaves of energy into every one of my muscles.

Two mics were now on stage and behind them a pair of stools had been lightly placed. Slowly I walked over to the nearest stool and positioned my guitar properly. I watched as Jace did the same as me before looking over in my direction. Without even saying a word he managed to ask me the one question I wasn't sure I had the answer to, (italics)are you ready?(italics) I nodded my head knowing that there was nothing else I could do and looked down at my guitar before starting to strum the first cords.

 **-Jace** **+Clary** ***Both**

 **-I got that James Dean daydream look in your eye**

 **+So it's gonna be forever**

 **+Or it's gonna go down in flames**

 **-And you got that red lip classic thing that you like**

 **+You can tell me when it's over**

 **+If the high was worth the pain**

 **-when we go crashing down, we come back every time**

 **+Got a long list of ex-lovers**

 **+They'll tell you I'm insane**

 **-'Cause we never go out of style**

 **-We never go out of style**

 **+'Cause you know I love the players**

 **+And you love the game**

I thought back to when Jace and I had been trying to decide the song we were going to perform for the talent show. He'd wanted so badly to perform one and I another. It felt like we were never going to be able to compromise, the two of us were just too stubborn for our own good.

 **+Ohhh**

 **+Midnight,**

 ***You come and pick me up, no headlights**

 ***Long drive,**

 ***Could end in burning flames or paradise**

 ***'Cause we're young and we're reckless**

 **+We'll take this way too far**

 ***It'll leave you breathless**

 **+Or with a nasty scar**

 ***Got a long list of ex-lovers**

 **+They'll tell you I'm insane**

 ***But I've got a blank space, baby**

Then somehow, as if by magic we'd suddenly realised that there was nothing in the rules about merging two songs together. A small smile appeared on my face at the though of Jace and his ability to bend the rules to his advantage.

 **+And I'll write your name**

 **-I got that James Dean daydream look in your eye**

 **-And you got that red lip classic thing that I like**

 **-when we go crashing down, we come back every time**

 **-'Cause we never go out of style**

 **-We never go out of style**

 **+Fade into view, oh, -it's been a while since I have even *heard from you**

 **+I should just tell you to leave 'cause I**

 **+Know exactly where it leads but I**

 **+Watch us go 'round and 'round each time**

 **-I got that James Dean daydream look in your eye**

 **+So it's gonna be forever**

 **+Or it's gonna go down in flames**

 **-And you got that red lip classic thing that I like**

 **+You can tell me when it's over**

 **+If the high was worth the pain**

 **-when we go crashing down, we come back every time**

 **+Got a long list of ex-lovers**

 **+They'll tell you I'm insane**

 **-'Cause we never go out of style**

 **-We never go out of style**

 **+'Cause you know I love the players**

 **+And you love the game**

 **-You got that long hair, slicked back, white t-shirt**

 **+'Cause we're young and we're reckless**

 **+We'll take this way too far**

 **-And I got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt**

 **+It'll leave you breathless**

 **+Or with a nasty scar**

 **-And when we go crashing down, we come back every time**

 **+Got a long list of ex-lovers**

 **+They'll tell you I'm insane**

 **-'Cause we never go out of style**

 **+But I've got a blank space, baby**

 **-We never go out of style.**

 **+And I'll write your name**

 **+Ohhh**

 **+Midnight,**

 ***You come and pick me up, no headlights**

 ***Long drive,**

 ***Could end in burning flames or paradise**

* * *

I had always hated waiting, ever since I was a little girl I'd never been very patient. If anyone asked Jon he would probably go into a story about the time I had to wait in line at an amusement park, I was only young and had decided that I didn't want to wait in line anymore. Being the curious person that I am, I wondered off and managed to make it to the other end of the park before anyone found me. My parents had been so worried they had gotten the park security involved and everything. Needless to say we had gone home straight after.

Having worn a path through the floor with my earlier pacing I decided it was probably best not to do that again. Instead I sat on the comfortable sofa that had been placed backstage, warmly snuggled up into Jace's side. Despite the calming feeling I always got when I was around him, I still felt as though I wanted to scream. The suspense was killing me. I knew I had done everything I possibly could, and that there was no sense in worrying about something I couldn't change, but knowing these things didn't change the way I was feeling. My stomach had turned so many times, I doubt it even knew which way was up anymore.

It was obvious that I wasn't the only one feeling this way. No one had spoken a word in a while, leaving a deafening silence floating around us. I didn't dare break it. In an attempt to calm my own mind I looked over to my friends, the anxiety clear on each and every one of their faces. Even though only a few of us had entered the contest, the rest of our group still held the same expressions. It was almost comedic how some of the people that hadn't even performed were more nervous than the rest of us.

Jonathan had taken my place of the floor and was walking the same path I had earlier when I was pacing. Obviously it was something that ran in the family. Aline was standing off to the side, her eyes never leaving Jon. Every once in a while she would gnaw at her nails until they were down to small stumps. Simon was stood behind Isabelle, his arms wrapped around her, as they both swayed back and forth like a metronome. I knew it was taking Isabelle all her restraint not to lash out at anyone. Whenever she got stressed it wasn't long before she got angry at the nearest person to her. I pitied the person that pissed off Isabelle, she could be really scary when she wanted to be. Those heels didn't help either, I grimaced at the thought of being kicked with one of those killer weapons of mass destruction.

Maia and Jordan were trying to make themselves useful by helping out anyone they could, trying to cater for our every need. It was sweet but not really necessary since none of us wanted anything more than to know the results. Alec and Magnus seemed to be the only people not really affected by what was going on. After about five minutes or so they had disappeared, mumbling some excuse about needing to talk to some people. I hadn't really been paying much attention to anyone at that point.

Despite Jace's attempts to act calm, I could tell he was anything but. His muscles were wound tight and his leg was shaking so much I was worried it would never stop. Gently I placed my hand on his knee, his leg immediately stopped bouncing. Our eyes met and I wished more than anything that he could see all of the love I held for him. I wanted him to see that I supported him no matter what and that even if none of us made it that he'd still be alright. His muscles seemed to relax infinitesimally and he hugged me tighter to his side, a gesture that I was all too happy to accept.

I let my mind wander and thought about all the possibilities of life. What if I had never met Jace? What would happen if I somehow ended winning this thing? What did I want to do with my life after high school? I tried not to think too much about that last one, deciding that it was better to live in the moment than focus on something that was a long way away.

"COULD ALL CONTESTANTS PLEASE MAKE THEIR WAY TO THE STAGE."

All of a sudden all of the tension returned to the room, the silence once again tormenting us all. No one dared to move, we were all frozen with fear. Agonisingly slowly, one by one, we started to move towards the stage. First was Jon, he had stopped pacing when he heard the announcement. He squared his shoulders, took a deep breath and started to move towards the exit. Next was Isabelle who had given Simon a quick hug before strutting forward. I tried to move, to get up and walk onstage, but my body refused to listen to my brain. No matter how hard I tried to budge, the more my body fought against me.

Obviously having noticed my lack of movement, Jace detached himself from me and stood up before taking my hand. That one single touch allowed my muscles to move. Before I knew it I was walking towards the stage. Every step felt like I was trying to walk through mud.

When we were finally onstage I could see the rest of the people who had performed huddled together in small groups. Jace and I made our way over to where Isabelle and Jonathan were standing. Their familiar presence gave me a small amount of comfort. For the first time I dared to look up at the audience. Since the stage was a few feet off the ground I was able to see the massive crowd that had gathered to watch. Somewhere in the middle was a small table where the judges were sat, there were three judges in total, two men and one woman. I vaguely remembered Isabelle telling me that they used to attend our school before they became rich. They had decided to give back to the community and sponsor this contest in order to try and discover some new talent. Apparently they thought that by giving the winners a large sum of money, they would use it to further invest in themselves and be able to follow their dreams.

They all seemed pretty young, around their early twenties. The woman who was sat in the middle, had light brown, wavy hair that reached just past her shoulders. Her grey dress covered in red flowers only seemed to highlight her already stunning beauty. The two men sitting next to her could not have looked more different if they tried. The one on her left had black hair and stunning blue eyes that clearly stood out across the distance. He was wearing a pair of scruffy, torn jeans, a simple blue t-shirt and a white shirt on top that had been unbuttoned to reveal his t-shirt bellow. Meanwhile the man on her other side had astonishing silver hair and was wearing a pair of cream trousers and a white jumper with a Chinese symbol on it. Looking at their smiling faces allowed the knot in my stomach to loosen, if only just a bit.

Once everyone had made it onto the stage the man with the stunning blue eyes stood up eliciting a sudden silence from the audience. Everything about him radiated confidence, from the way he was sat before to the way he examined the audience before addressing everyone. "Ladies," a pause "and gentlemen of course." A few members of the audience snickered at his joke though most of them were girls. "Firstly, my friends and I would like to say how truly impressed we are by the level of talent displayed by each and every individual here today. When we decided to sponsor the contest, we never though that it would be this hard to make a decision. Each of us has seen different outstanding qualities in some of the performances, I may even go so far as to say that we each have some personal favourites. I'm sure the audience would agree with us by saying that it is next to impossible to decide a clear winner for this competition.

"After much debate between my fiends and I, we have come to the decision. The acts that we would like to see perform again are as follows," he paused just long enough to receive a piece of paper from the girl sitting next to him. The knot in my stomach clenched again to an almost excruciating level, every nerve in my body vibrating from the adrenaline. Jace increased the pressure of our entwined hands in a sign of both nerves and support. No matter what happened, we would be in it together. "Adam Barrow, Jonathan Fray, Clarissa Fray, Katherine Ross, Juliette Titan, Isabelle Lightwood, Erik Tompson, Lily Kent, Jace Heronalde and Aaron Mendoza.

"And for the duets we would like to welcome back," my heart felt like it was beating a hundred times a second, "Call Stinson & Mark Pearson, Emma Carstairs & Julian Blackthorn and Clarissa Fray & Jace Herondale." Before I knew what was happening I was swept up into the air and being twirled around. When I was finally put down I turned around to see Jace's face lit up by his dazzling smile. Once everyone had finally calmed down the man returned to speaking, "We would like to thank everyone who has participated so far and offer our apologies. To those of you who have made it through we would like to offer our congratulations. Each of you have shown us that you can perform in a way that no one else can. We saw something special in each and every one of you and are very much looking forward to see what else you have up your sleeves. Thank you."

Being back stage again felt unreal, like we made it over the hill only to realise that we still had a mountain to climb and one wrong step could send us over the cliff. Waiting had become a hundred times harder, watching each person make their way on stage and perform was a punch to my gut. By the time my name was called again I had taken up the pacing this time. I was so caught up in my own thoughts I almost missed my chance. My last solo performance was a breeze compared to this one, why did I have to pick this song? It was too emotional, too revealing. It was too late to change now, so I sucked it up and made myself walk those last few steps onto the stage.

 **Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street**

 **Faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ending so suddenly**

 **Loving him is like trying to change your mind once you're already flying through the free fall**

 **Like the colours in autumn, so bright just before they lose it all**

I looked over to the wings and unsurprisingly found Jace watching me with a smile on his face.

 **Losing him was blue like I've never known**

 **Missing him was dark grey all alone**

 **Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met**

 **But loving him was red**

 **Yeah, red**

I wondered if he knew that the song was about him, that I'd written it thinking about how he changed my life.

 **Touching him was like realising all you ever wanted was right there in front of you**

 **Memorising him was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favourite song**

 **Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realising there's no right answer**

 **Regretting him was like wishing you never found out that love could be that strong**

How one simple conversation started everything, how no matter how hard I try to be apart from him, even the though causes me physical pain.

 **Losing him was blue like I've never known**

 **Missing him was dark grey all alone**

 **Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met**

 **But loving him was red**

 **Yeah, red**

 **Burning red**

Thinking about how when I picture my future, he's always standing right there next to me.

 **Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes**

 **Tell myself it's time now, gotta let go**

 **But moving on from him is impossible**

 **When I still see it all in my head**

 **Burning red**

Willing me to go on, to keep pushing, to keep fighting.

 **Losing him was blue like I'd never known**

 **Missing him was dark grey all alone**

 **Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met**

 **But loving him was red**

 **Yeah, red**

 **Burning red**

 **Burning red**


	31. Chapter 31

_**The songs used in this chapter are Give me love by Ed Sheeran, Take me to church by Hozier and "Catch My Breath" - Kelly Clarkson - Official Cover Video (Alex Goot & Against The Current).**_

* * *

I felt so mentally exhausted from everything that had happened today,I was just a zombie wandering through my surroundings. "Next up we have Jace Herondale!" too quickly he was ripped from my embrace and was once again heading for the stage. This seemed to snap me out of my confused haze as I watched Jace make his way onstage. I watched as he saturday on the small stool in front of the mic and was handed an acoustic guitar.

 **Give me love like her,**

 **'Cause lately I've been waking up alone,**

 **Paint splattered teardrops on my shirt,**

 **Told you I'd let them go,**

 **And that I'll fight my corner,**

 **Maybe tonight I'll call ya,**

 **After my blood turns into alcohol,**

 **No, I just wanna hold ya.**

As I watched him pour his entire soul into the music I couldn't help but feel like something was wrong. I narrowed my eyes trying to figure out what it was. Then I saw it. Jace was flinching from pain, his ribs hadn't healed properly and he was exerting himself too much today. I had completely forgotten about his injuries, he seemed to be perfectly fine earlier. How could I not notice he was in pain?

 **Give a little time to me or burn this out,**

 **We'll play hide and seek to turn this around,**

 **All I want is the taste that your lips allow,**

 **My, my, my, my, oh give me love,**

 **My, my, my, my, oh give me love,**

 **My, my, my, my, oh give me love.**

 **Give me love like never before,**

 **'Cause lately I've been craving more,**

 **And it's been a while but I still feel the same,**

 **Maybe I should let you go,**

 **You know I'll fight my corner,**

 **And that tonight I'll call ya,**

 **After my blood is drowning in alcohol,**

 **No, I just wanna hold ya.**

I continued to observe him, flinching every time that he did. If he was in this much pain why didn't he say something? Why hadn't he told me earlier?

 **Give a little time to me or burn this out,**

 **We'll play hide and seek to turn this around,**

 **All I want is the taste that your lips allow,**

 **My, my, my, my, oh give me love,**

 **Give a little time to me or burn this out,**

 **We'll play hide and seek to turn this around,**

 **All I want is the taste that your lips allow,**

 **My, my, my, my, oh give me love,**

 **My, my, my, my, oh give me love,**

 **My, my, my, my, oh give me love.**

 **M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover,**

 **M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover,**

 **M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover,**

 **M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover.**

The song was becoming more and more intense, I watched as Jace strained himself and pushed his body further than it could go. There was sweat dripping off his brow and I could see the amount of pain on his face. Despite everything he kept pushing, he kept forcing himself past his own breaking point. Watching him hurt himself was like a punch to the stomach. I no longer cared about the competition or anything else. All I wanted was for his pain to stop.

 **M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover,**

 **M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover,**

 **M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover,**

 **M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover (love me, love me, love me).**

 **M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover (give me love),**

 **M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover (give me love),**

 **M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover (give me love, love me).**

 **My, my, my, my, oh give me love,**

 **My, my, my, my, oh give me love,**

 **My, my, my, my, oh give me love,**

 **My, my, my, my, oh give me love.**

I sighed a breath of relief when the song was over though I could see now more than ever how much the performance had cost him. With as much care as he could manage Jace put down the guitar and made his way over to the wing where I was standing. I knew he could see in my face that I had noticed what he had been trying to hide from me all day. Instead of confronting him straight away I helped him over to the sofa where he collapsed. Taking care I saturday down next to him trying to jostle the sofa as little as possible. I opened my mouth to speak but before I could say anything he beat me to it.

"I know what you're gonna say."

"Oh really?" I replied. "Then if you're so smart why don't you go ahead and tell me oh wise one."

"You're gonna tell me what an idiot I am, then you're gonna ask me why I didn't tell you that my ribs were still hurting earlier. I will then say how I avoided telling you earlier because I knew you were already freaking out about the competition and I didn't want to stress you out anymore than you already are." Once again I opened my mouth to speak but he beat me to it. "Then you'l shout at me about how I should have told you anyway and you'll call me a moron. Finally you'll say that it was stupid of me to continue to perform when I was obviously in pain and that I should have just backed out or something. Now tell me, did I get that all right?" he said with an obviously forced smirk.

Too stunned to reply there was a small silence where he continued to smirk at me. "Actually no. I wouldn't have called you an idiot or a moron." I told him, "I would have called you something much worse." That seemed to incite a small chuckle from him which in turn led to a wince. "Serves you right Mr. Know-it-all." All joking aside I gently placed my hands on his cheeks and lightly kissed him on the lips.

"For what its worth, I'm sorry I lied to you."

"Technically you never lied, you just omitted the truth."

"That's my girl." he told me. His hands mirrored my own and brushed against my cheeks. "Did I ever tell you how hot you are when you're being a smart-ass?"

"No, but there's a first time for everything."

* * *

Instead of watching from the wings, I decided to listen to Jon's performance from the sofa next to Jace. Despite my many protests he insisted on still performing with me for our duet. Eventually I gave in on the condition that he not move his but from the sofa until then. I wished Jon good luck from my place on the sofa and watched as he disappeared behind the curtain. The next thing I know I can hear the crowd screaming and cheering before the music starts.

 **My lover's got humour**

S **he's the giggle at a funeral**

 **Knows everybody's disapproval**

 **I should've worshipped her sooner**

 **If the heavens ever did speak**

 **She's the last true mouthpiece**

 **Every Sunday's getting more bleak**

 **A fresh poison each week**

 **"We were born sick," you heard them say it**

Of course Jon would pick this song. It was so like him to pick something that portrayed him as a rebel, a sinner.

 **My church offers no absolutes**

 **She tells me, "Worship in the bedroom."**

 **The only heaven I'll be sent to**

 **Is when I'm alone with you**

 **I was born sick**

 **But I love it**

 **Command me to be well**

 **Aaay. Amen. Amen. Amen.**

 **Take me to church**

 **I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies**

 **I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife**

 **Offer me that deathless death**

 **Good God, let me give you my life**

Though this song did make me laugh, I could also see why else Jon had picked it. It was slow and pure. His voice sounded soft yet strong, roar yet smooth. I had to hand it to him, the boy knew how to pick a song.

 **Take me to church**

 **I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies**

 **I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife**

 **Offer me that deathless death**

 **Good God, let me give you my life**

 **If I'm a pagan of the good times**

 **My lover's the sunlight**

 **To keep the Goddess on my side**

 **She demands a sacrifice**

 **Drain the whole sea**

 **Get something shiny**

 **Something meaty for the main course**

 **That's a fine-looking high horse**

 **What you got in the stable?**

 **We've a lot of starving faithful**

 **That looks tasty**

 **That looks plenty**

 **This is hungry work**

 **Take me to church**

 **I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies**

 **I'll tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife**

 **Offer me my deathless death**

 **Good God, let me give you my life**

 **Take me to church**

 **I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies**

 **I'll tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife**

 **Offer me my deathless death**

 **Good God, let me give you my life**

 **No Masters or Kings**

 **When the Ritual begins**

 **There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin**

The implications of the song were not lost on me. I wondered if Jonathan actually meant the things he was singing. I wondered what Aline thought of Jon's choice.

 **In the madness and soil of that sad earthly scene**

 **Only then I am human**

 **Only then I am clean**

 **Ooh oh. Amen. Amen. Amen.**

 **Take me to church**

 **I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies**

 **I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife**

 **Offer me that deathless death**

 **Good God, let me give you my life**

 **Take me to church**

 **I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies**

 **I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife**

 **Offer me that deathless death**

 **Good God, let me give you my life**

* * *

After talking to some of the staff helping out I had managed to get Jace and my performance pushed until last in order to give him more time to rest. No one blamed us as I'm sure they all knew what we'd been through. It wasn't exactly a secret and besides, secrets in schools are basically just screaming to be spread like wildfire. Yet when the time came for us to go onstage, I felt like it was too soon. Jace was still in a lot of pain, too much to conceal, no matter how hard he tried. Everyone else had noticed as well and were trying to do as much as possible to help out, though there was very little they could actually do. With a bit of help Jace and I managed to make it onstage where we proceeded to sit down on a pair of wooden speakers that had been tried around so that the back was now facing the front. When the music started to play Jace and I started slowly drumming along on the speakers.

 **-Jace +Clary *Both**

 **-I don't wanna be left behind**

 **-Distance was a friend of mine**

 **-Catching breath in a web of lies**

 **-I've spent most of my life**

 **-Riding waves, playing acrobat**

 **-Shadowboxing the other half**

 **-Learning how to react**

 **-I've spent most of my time**

 ***Catching my breath, +letting it go,**

 **+Turning my cheek for the sake of the show**

 ***Now that you know, +this is my life,**

 **+I won't be told what's supposed to be right**

 ***Catch my breath, +no one can hold me back,**

 ***I ain't got time for that**

 ***Catch my breath, +won't let them get me down,**

 ***It's all so simple now**

Every once in a while I caught myself sneaking a peek over at Jace in order to check and see if he was okay. This effort was futile though as he was always staring right back at me every time I looked over.

 **-Addicted to the love I found**

 **-Heavy heart, now a weightless cloud**

 **-Making time for the ones that count**

 **-I'll spend the rest of my time**

 **-Laughing hard with the windows down**

 **-Leaving footprints all over town**

 **-Keeping faith, karma comes around**

 **-I'll spend the rest of my life**

 ***Catching my breath, +letting it go,**

 **+Turning my cheek for the sake of the show**

 ***Now that you know, +this is my life,**

 **+I won't be told what's supposed to be right**

 ***Catch my breath, +no one can hold me back,**

 ***I ain't got time for that**

 ***Catch my breath, +won't let them get me down,**

 ***It's all so simple now**

In the end I just resigned myself to sing to him instead of the audience, if this was gonna be our last performance together I wanted it to be special. I didn't want it to be filled with nerves and worry. Jace seemed to have the same idea, so we spent the rest of the time singing to each other.

 **-Catching my breath, letting it go,**

 **-Turning my cheek for the sake of the show**

 ***Now that you know, this is my life,**

 ***I won't be told -what's supposed to be right**

 **+Catching my breath, letting it go,**

 **+Turning my cheek for the sake of the show**

 ***Now that you know, +this is my life,**

 **+I won't be told what's supposed to be right**

I hoped he could understand all of the meaning behind my words. The 'I love you's' and the 'I can't live without you's'. Something inside me told me that he did because I felt like he was saying the same things back to me as well.

 ***Catch my breath, +no one can hold me back,**

 ***I ain't got time for that**

 ***Catch my breath, +won't let them get me down,**

 ***It's all so simple now**

 ***Catch my breath, +no one can hold me back,**

 ***I ain't got time for that**

 ***Catch my breath, +won't let them get me down,**

 ***It's all so simple now**

I listened to the final notes of the song drift into the air and evaporate only to be replaced by a deafening roar of applause. I didn't know whether it was because of the song or that that was our last performance or even the fact that I felt so euphoric over having conquered all of my fears but something came over me and I reached over to Jace and pulled him into a bone crushing hug. I felt him wince beneath me and immediately felt guilty. I tried to pull away but instead of letting me, Jace kept me flush against him. Before I could ask him what he was doing he was kissing me in front of everyone. I vaguely heard a few 'aww's' coming from the audience accompanied by one or two 'get a room's'. I pushed my embarrassment aside and relaxed into Jace's arms.

Only when I was sure that I couldn't go another second without oxygen did I pull away. Suddenly all too aware of what had just happened between the two us I felt my face explode with embarrassment. The blood rushed to my cheeks faster than the blink of an eye and I was sure that I looked like a tomato. My first reaction was to cover up my face but there was nowhere except behind my own hands. Jace wrapped his fingers around my wrists and gently but firmly pulled my hands away from my face. He leaned his face closer to my own before whispering into my ear the words "I love it when you blush". He pulled away from me and I knew for certain that we had overstayed our welcome on stage. I helped Jace get to his feet- knowing he must be in a lot of pain if he was showing weakness in front of all of these people- and together we walked off stage for the last time.

* * *

"You were amazing up there." Jon told me as we made our way off stage. "Though I'm not so sure that I approve of the whole make out session thing on stage." he directed the comment at both Jace and I. Instead of sticking around to help me with my brother, Jace happily accepted Alec's help and together they both moved back over to the couch. This time I didn't care how long we had to wait. My mind was too exhausted to really recognise the stakes anymore. Instead I watched my friends interact for a bit, for some reason I found it highly amusing. Before long I was drifting off into my own thoughts, not noticing as the time ticked on.

"FOR THE LAST TIME, CAN ALL REMAINING CONTESTANTS PLEASE COME BACK ON STAGE."

Before I knew it, we were all standing in front of the eager audience once again. The judges still seemed to be in a good mood, especially now that they'd made their decision. The same man as before stood up, ready to deliver the life changing news. Once every saw that he'd stood up an eerie silence spread through the audience until the sound of a pin dropping could be heard from a mile away. It seemed that everyone was holding their breaths all at once. This was it. This was finally the end.

"This has been one of the hardest decisions we have ever had to make. For one thing, each of us," he indicated to his two friends sitting next to him, "have very different styles and opinions. Meaning that picking one act that we all agreed was the best was probably a miracle." He chuckled a bit, along with his friends. "Especially since, I don't tend to stop until I get my way." At this the entire audience laughed. "But the point is that no one person can say that there is a definitive winner, we just tried to pick the one we believed appealed the most to everyone.

"When I look at each and every one of you I see talent, and my friends and I want to urge you all to pursue your talents. Fight for what you want, fight when it feels like everyone is against you, fight when you think you can't keep fighting, but above all, never forget what you're fighting for. We all share a passion for the arts, and without art there would be no individuality, there would be no passion, no spur of the moment decisions. These are the moments that we truly never forget. I guess what I'm trying to say is that no matter what happens, we hope that you all come away from this experience knowing that if you truly want something, you won't let anything hold you back in life." The man turned his head and gave a small nod to each of his friends. With that the other two stood up.

Both men looked over to the girl, as if indicating that it was her turn to speak, "With that said," she began, "we won't torture you any longer. The person we have picked as the solo artist winner is…" It felt like the moment stretched out for an infinity, or even multiple infinities. A small smile appeared on the girls' face as she held onto the last few precious seconds she could before announcing to everyone the winner. Just when I though I couldn't take it any longer she opened her mouth to speak, "Isabelle Lightwood." Chaos quickly ensued as Izzy was smothered by not only me, but also Jace and Jon. We were all so happy for her. Soon all of the participants that hadn't won filed off of the stage, leaving Izzy and the remaining duos. "Not only did she present incredible originality, but she also impressed us with her incredible ability at such a young age. We hope that she will use her prize to create her own line of clothing. I know I'll be dying to buy some of her clothes one day." the girl finished. Once she was done we waited as the two judges that had already spoken turned to the third. Obviously it was his job to announce the last winners.

"This was the hardest decision as each duo performed with such passion and individual style. It's impossible to compare the a stunning piece of art to a brilliant novel, just as it is impossible to compare these three performances. However a decision had to be made. It is my great pleasure to present this award to Clarissa Fray and Jace Herondale. We believed that they not only sang amazingly, but also poured their hearts and soul into every single one of their performances. Time and time again we were able to see as they showed us who they truly were through their music. They definitely earned this, congratulations."

I couldn't believe it, it couldn't be real. Maybe he'd said Melissa, or Alissa, surely he hadn't said my name. But somewhere deep inside I was sure he had. I couldn't even begin to comprehend what this meant for mine and Jace's future. This was a huge opportunity and I didn't even know where we'd begin. Hell, I didn't even know what I was gonna do tomorrow, the only thing I knew for sure was that nowadays I looked forward to the mystery that was my future.

-THE END-

* * *

 _ **I want to say a HUGE thank you to EVERYONE who has helped me through the past year and a bit. I couldn't have done it without all of your amazing reviews, encouraging me to keep writing. You have no idea how much each and every review has meant to me. A big thank you to my beta's. For the last time I want to apologise for the inconsistency of my updates, and would like to say to the people that stuck with me that you guys are amazing. When I first started writing this story I wasn't even going to post it, but I'm so glad I did because I never imagined that I could have gotten here and it was all thanks to you guys. I know that not everyone has enjoyed reading my story and I understand that it's not for everyone, I'm just grateful that I was able to touch even just a few people with my writing. Please leave me a final review with any thoughts or comments you want to share, I love reading them. -M**_

 _ **PS- The judges are Will, Tessa and Jem.**_

 _ **PPS- Also, because I have so little time to write, a lot of story ideas for fan fiction I have come up with over the last few years are going to waste. If anyone is interested in writing a story and doesn't have any ideas, feel free to message me and I'll be more than happy to send over my list.**_


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